Undisclosed Petite Diary

I feel jealous of my friend. Although she's not pretty as me, she's taller and smarter than me. Furthermore, she has a really sweet and smart guy who loves her. I am envious because these are the things that I cannot change. I can change my knowledge and grades with effort. However, I cannot change my shortness nor can I find a love like hers. I really do hate this feeling of jealousy. It's an ugly feeling to have.

I'm so f***ing emotional today. Feel like bat shit. I actually cried over coffee. Well f*** u Starbucks. I work my ass off, but I don't expect to be treated like crap as a customer. Man I'd like to see that Starbucks location burn to the ground. Really questioning my sanity some days. Nobody knows, nobody cares.

Took 200mg after breakfast. Felt fine(not sleepy) even without my daily coffee. So-so is the best word on 200mg. Had a latte at 5pm, and it's making me feel anxious. Idk.

Update: got through 2 hours of math class. I feel like was was more focus on what was on the board and what the teacher was talking about(although I did find the math section pretty easy today). Took ALL the notes and still feeling like I could take like 2 hours of more notes taking in me! On the downside. Feeling kinda sick. Like I might barf, but no barfing involved. Headaches is better. And I’m more sensitive to the music while wearing headphones. Oh and I notice lights more than usual. 🤔 Update: it's 3:30 am and I can't fall asleep. Shit I still feel it in my system. Today was not a good idea. Should have stuck to low-mid dose of 100mg with caffeine . 😲😥

:/ why did they have to get me involved. ugh 😩

This morning I woke up and went to the bathroom as usual. Did my business and found that my stool is oily. Not a lot, but yes, this confirms that Alli is working somehow. I’m hopeful so far.