SYNOPSIS: when demi leaves everything behind in australia to train in korea, she feels out of place and missing home is catching up to her.
this took way longer than it should've to finish. it's also not as good as i wanted it to be but i started struggling on what to write lmao
demitra was sick to her stomach. what was she thinking? god, she felt so stupid.
if you told her a few months before all this that sheโd be moving to seoul all on her own, giving up everything sheโd achieved so far in australia to join the kpop industry, she probably would have laughed in your face.
cause thats ridiculous, right?
sure, she had experience in dance โ years of it. the people who scouted her knew that. theyโd pulled her aside after a cheer competition, handed her a company card, and asked if she was interested in singing.
she still remembered the way she had stared at the man who handed her the card, blinking dumbly. a career in singing wasnโt something she had considered before. sheโd only posted a few singing covers on youtube just for her friends to watch. theyโd ramble on about how her voice was โtoo good to wasteโ, and she eventually gave in. she could sing, she knew that โ knew that her voice didnโt sound bad. holding notes and matching pitch wasnโt hard for her. but this whole singing thing was just something she liked, something she did for fun, nothing she was ever planning to pursue.
she had no formal training. no vocal lessons. nothing beyond singing along to the radio in her room or messing around with friends. so when the scout had smiled and told her that a cover of hers, one thatโd gained a little attention, had caught the eye of whatever company he was from, she almost laughed.
never once would she have thought that a few blurry covers filmed on her bedroom floor would be the reason her entire life changed.
so when she was stood in a bright green practice room with twelve teenage boys staring at her like she was some new weird species, her hands felt clammy and awkward at her sides, and she suddenly became hyper aware of everything. of how stiff her arms were, how she was biting down on her bottom lip, how she wasnt sure if she should bow again and say more about herself or just stand there. her throat was dry and she swore she could feel the heat crawling up the back of her neck. she wished she had prepared for this moment more. maybe then she wouldnt feel so exposed. so out of place.
she didnโt even notice that the manager had left the room until one of the boys spoke, snapping her out of her thoughts.
โyouโre kinda short.โ
the words hit her before her brain could even catch up. her eyes snapped toward the voice โ a boy who looked alot younger than the others, standing slightly off to the side.
there was a beat of silence.
then an elbow jabbed into his ribs. โdude, donโt start with that.โ another one hissed.
the first guy blinked, like he didnโt get what he did wrong. โwhat? i wasnโt being mean. itโs justโฆ like, an observation.โ
demi felt her stomach twist a little tighter. first impression? height commentary.
no one said much after that. a few of the boys exchanged glances and some just looked back at the mirror, like they were pretending this wasnโt weird. like they didnโt just find out today that a girl was joining their groups lineup.
because yeah โ clearly no one had told them.
she shifted awkwardly in place, trying to shrink herself, like maybe if she stood still long enough, theyโd forget she was even there. she wasnโt usually like this, but standing in a room full of boys who all knew each other was messing with her head.
no one really spoke to her after that. they didnโt ignore her exactly, but no one tried to talk either. they broke off into little pockets of conversation, some stretching, others warming up, a few just sitting around. demi hovered near the back corner of the room, clutching the hem of her hoodie and opening her phone.
she didnโt know how long she stood like that before someone walked over.
โsoโฆโ a voice said, smooth and almost too casual. โdo you always stand in corners, or is that just an australian thing?โ
she looked up, startled. the boy with longish hair and a smirk plastered across his face was standing infront of her, waiting for a reply.
demi blinked. โwhat?โ
โyouโve been standing here for ages. are we really that bad?โ he teased, casually leaning back against the wall.
when she didnโt respond, he straightened up slightly, his tone softening. โwe were told thereโd be a trainee coming from australia, justโฆ didnโt expect you to be a girl. donโt worry, though. everyone will warm up eventually, theyโre just a bit confused right now.โ
demi bit her lip, her gaze shifting to the others around the room. something about his words made the tension in her chest loosen just a little. the knot that had been squeezing her lungs didnโt feel as tight, and for the first time since walking in, she realized she could actually breathe a little easier.
she didnโt even know his name yet, but his calm demeanor had somehow made her feel less uncomfortable.
โi didnโt know iโd be added to a boy group lineup either, for the record.โ she said, her voice lighter than before.
he chuckled at that, as if he was thinking about it for a second before giving her an easy smile. โjeonghan,โ he said, finally introducing himself. โthe others probably wont wait very long until they build up the courage to introduce themselves. โ
within a week, the only people demi had managed to grow even somewhat close to, apart from jeonghan, were joshua and vernon โ thankfully they spoke english โ and surprisingly, dokyeom, seungkwan and dino.
it wasnโt that the others were unapproachable, but they kept their distance. so did demi. they were unsure, maybe, and awkward definitely. she didnโt blame them โ she wasnโt exactly making it easy, either. but still, it was a little disappointing. jeonghan had made it sound like things would fall into place quickly.
everything was making demi miss home more than sheโd expected. the streets that were still unfamiliar, the dorms, the way she didnโt seem to quite fit in. the way everyone around her joked with eachother in a rhythm she hadnโt learned yet. it was all piling in her chest, making her throat tight.
so when the first practice break finally came, she slipped out quietly and made her way toward the stairwell. it was cooler there, quiter too. she pulled her phone out of her pocket and stared down at her momโs contact, thumb hovering over the call button. she didnโt know if she just wanted to talk โ or if she just wanted to hear a familiar voice. maybe both.
she was so wrapped up in her own head that she didnโt hear the footsteps behind her.
demi turned around, eyes locking on seungcheol.
they hadnโt really talked before. not properly. just the occasional check in โ him making sure she was eating, ready for practice, keeping up. heโd never lingered enough to chat. demi was not going to be the one to start a conversation first.
she shifted on her feet. โmaybe.โ
โhomesick?โ seungcheol asked.
she nodded, gaze drifting back to her screen. โi dont want to call about something like this too early. sheโll freak out and end up booking me a flight back.โ
her mom would, too, no hesitation. demi had begged for this opportunity, sold it like a dream โ like she could handle it. and now she was here, standing in a stairwell like the whole thing was too heavy.
โyou should call,โ he said, resting a shoulder against the wall. โnot to ask her to come home or anything. just to talk. it helps sometimes.โ
demi didnโt respond right away, but her grip on the phone loosened.
โyouโre allowed to miss home.โ he added. โif it makes you feel better all of us feel homesick, even if our families are in the korea. itโs normal.โ
she looked up at him, eyebrows slightly raised. he didnโt look like someone whoโd ever doubted anything. with him being the oldest and the leader (and only knowing her for a week), it surprised her that he was talking like this.
seungcheol gave a small nod and then something in him shifted โ like a curtain dropping over whatever soft part heโd just shown.
โpractice starts again in ten,โ he said, his seriousness back. โif youโre late the staff will never let you hear the end of it.โ
then he turned and walked off, his footsteps echoing down the hallway until they faded entirely.
for a moment, demi just stood there. she didnโt move. didnโt even blink. it was like something in her had been knocked loose โ not in a bad way, not in the way sheโd been feeling since she first arrived โ but in the way that made her shoulders drop, even if just a little. cleared her thoughts a little.
seungcheol hadnโt said much. he wasnt overly warm, wasnโt trying too hard to comfort her โ but maybe thatโs exactly why it helped. he hadnโt tried to sugarcoat anything or talk to her like she was fragile. heโd just acknowledged it and reassured her of the normalness of it. and for the first time since arriving, demi didnโt feel like she was being dramatic or weak for struggling.
the feeling of being homesick had crept up on her slowly โ like an ache that you ignore until itโs too big to push down anymore. and she had been trying to push it down, to stay quiet and composed and โgratefulโ because she was the one who asked for this. she was the one who packed up her life and promised her mom sheโd be okay.
the knot in her chest hadnโt disappeared completely. but it wasnโt choking her anymore.
and sheโd listened to seungcheolโs advice.
