so pathetically sad it’s almost funny

I think of that part from TTC when he meets Annabeth’s stepmom and expects her to like turn into a raving lunatic at the mention of her name and is surprised when she doesn’t. And it’s easy, I feel, to read this in retrospect as Percy just not understanding the nuances of bad parental relationships. But I think this is what it actually is: Percy’s experience with a bad stepparent is Gabe. And that’s how Gabe always reacted at the mention of Percy’s name. And Gabe would have left him to rot without any question or remorse. So of course that’s what he expects from the stepparent Annabeth has been complaining about as long as he’s known her, and she deemed bad enough to run away from.

And yes, compared to Luke and Thalia and Annabeth, Percy is somewhat better off solely because of Sally. Except he, too, was deadly serious when he said he’d rather live on the streets than live with Gabe, and if not for camp that would have been his only option at this point in his life—the same as it was for them. Percy truly CAN relate to the feeling of camp being his only safe haven because this is also true for him. Percy probing Thalia about her history with her mom is not a kid who comes from a stable home trying to relate to her and failing: it’s a kid who grew up sharing living space with an alcoholic, and is able to tell at the age of 12 years old “when an adult has been hitting the happy juice.” And this is of course not even to talk about his constant awareness of money and his mother working odd jobs just to put food on the table—experiences that Thalia, Luke, and Annabeth don’t have. So I think it is just so unfair to view him in retrospect as the kid who is so privileged that he can’t understand trauma rather than what he actually is: a kid who was only ever one bad day away from being in just as bad of circumstances as any one of the other demigods, and who at points in his life, actually was in their circumstances. When Percy meets May Castellan he is not just reflecting on how bad Luke’s life sucked, he has experience and trauma of his own, and he feels a heavy sense of “how easily this could have been me.”

Percy being not outside of the problem, but inside it, is fundamental to the series. He’s not just championing Luke’s cause: it’s also his own! Because who is more exploited by the Olympians than Percy Jackson? This is a kid who has almost been put down like a dog by them ! They took a vote on it in front of him!

Leo and Frank and Hazel’s moms are actually dead and they stayed dead. But Percy watched the Minotaur squeeze his mom to death right in front of his eyes and had to process her death and blamed himself for his failure! Of course he is going to relate to them on a fundamental level, and again, he was so very close from having been in exactly Leo’s situation.

tlo is seriously everything to me

percy defends annabeth, wants to turn hermes' anger away from her without a clue about what the source of conflict is, and given it's about luke it definitely would've been a point of contention between the two of them in any other situation too. but all he sees is a friend being threatened and so he's instantly on guard.

then later when he comforts her there's annabeth who kinda does feel like it's her fault and percy who is adamant it isn’t even if they haven’t been on the best terms.

(and annabeth looking at the hearth like it’s her pyre. the hearth where hope survives best. the hearth that represents family and friends. and it’s death don’t even get me started on this)

but the part that is so interesting is when he expresses doubt. he’s always accepted annabeth’s plans and insight, has always trusted her wholly. but now it’s been a year of them being on eggshells around each other and yes they’re best friends, but there’s so much secrecy and doubt between them. now everything is coming to a head so there really isn’t the time to process what they haven’t said to each other.

him not knowing how to comfort her either while a younger percy in som was able to hug and comfort her with some mild (LOL) discomfort, but now even after making her a representation of his mortality things are still so confusing. they’ve been so out of sync but also they’re never not on the same wavelength and it’s just so ???

but regardless of it all, it’s interesting to see how percy’s first instinct is to defend his friends and his family no matter what happened in the past

frank: ugh mars disgusts me how could mars be my dad he's such a violent repulsive brute

percy is so struck by thalia’s bravery and heroism and and selflesness and immediately feels guilty for not matching up to her, feelings that are obviously intensified when thalia’s back in the titan’s curse. but under the surface of all the competitiveness and jealousy there’s just so much admiration and awe on percy’s end, and you see that continuously in the way percy talks about her even before she comes back to life. 

and the scene where thalia becomes human again is SO good, percy’s actions in that moment are so telling of the kind of person he is. i love how proactive he is in that scene, how he rushes to help a hurt demigod without hesitation because that’s just what he sees as his duty. he sees thalia hurt and unconscious by the tree and even though he has no idea what’s going on, he instantly runs to her and kneels by her while everyone else is just staring at her, puts his hand on her forehead and yells that she needs nectar and ambrosia, not understanding why the rest of the camp isn’t helping her, why everyone else is so scared. 

just! percy holding thalia up with her head on his shoulder and what’s wrong with you people and then! the absolute tenderness of this!

this isn't all of the examples of course but percy being salty about thalia is one of my favorite things that happens in the series because it's everywhereeeee it's littered all over the page, it's there in som before he even meets her; his envy stains his perception of and reactions to her. he's jealous of her history with annabeth that he doesn't have, he's jealous of how knowledgeable and experienced she is, he's jealous of her capabilities, he's jealous of the respect she's given by others, he's jealous of everything he thinks she has that he doesn't and it never quite peaks into resentment territory but god does it irk him so bad and it's so funny but it's also meaningful for their roles in the great prophecy

something important about percy's character through which we can frame this jealousy is that he can't stand being made to feel inferior to others because he's been dealing with that for his entire life already from his adversaries (i.e. gabe, bullies at school, teachers that look down on him, etc); that he hates being made to feel inferior is a reason why he always stands up for others, because he doesn't like seeing anyone else get treated like they're inferior either. but with thalia this sense of inferiority inside of him is particularly difficult and uncomfortable to address because she's not gabe, she's not nancy bobofit, she's an ally - which means he can't hate her or retaliate against her in the same way that he's retaliated against his past foes. I think some part of him was probably even glad when thalia attacked him first after the capture the flag game in ttc because it gave him a "good" reason to push back against her in front of everyone, to challenge this sense of inferiority with any kind of proof that he's just as good as her, even through violent means

but over the course of ttc thalia is humanized in percy's eyes, almost falling down from the pedestal that he and everyone else around her has put her on. he learns about her flaws, her fears, her vulnerabilities - that she's scared of heights, she's torn up about what happened to her mom, she feels immense pain over everything with luke, etc. the rivalry wanes, the jealousy lessens, and a deeper friendship is gained between the only (known) big three kids. although the title of the prophecy child was an enormous burden for thalia to lay on percy's shoulders and he doesn't exactly appreciate this in-text (I mean who would.... it feels like a death sentence), I think it meant a lot to gain approval from her in particular. at the end of ttc his rival deems him a friend, a hero, and a person she has confidence in to succeed where she'd fail. that feeling of inferiority in percy can finally melt because thalia hugs him and looks him in the eye and assures him at last that they're allies and equals