kyle lee

Can we talk about this scene for a minute? Because I tear up literally every damn time I watch it. 

After losing his son, Iroh fought tirelessly to save his nephew from Ozai’s brainwashing, no matter how hard Zuko tried to push him away. But even after years of sticking by him through every dead end and reckless gambit, Zuko still goes back to his awful father. Once again, Iroh couldn’t save his son and it just kills him. 

Then the kid shows up with team Avatar, because it turns out some of those proverbs got through to him after all.

But the part that really gets me is Zuko’s perspective.

Sitting outside that tent, he’s so damn scared. He’s so convinced Iroh hates him, he won’t even go in without a pep talk from Katara. Everyone else can see that Iroh will be proud of what his nephew has done since they last met, but Zuko can’t. When Zuko goes in to see the family he disappointed, he’s braced for yelling and fire and rage because that’s what he’s been raised to expect when he screws up. Pissing off his father got him disgraced, burned, tossed in the street, told he didn’t deserve to be alive, and shot at with lightening. A lifetime of experience says he should be scared. He doesn’t expect to be forgiven, he just wants Iroh to know he’s sorry. 

And then Iroh’s not even mad. NOT EVEN MAD. Mercy and compassion are so alien to Zuko that immediate forgiveness wasn’t even a remote possibility. He’s so utterly confused, but at the same time, so, so relieved. He hasn’t lost his only family. The only person who stayed by him all those years in exile. The only father who loved him.

I am a gay man and a strong supporter of a woman’s right to choose (I actually volunteer for Planned Parenthood, and give money to campaigns that promote women’s rights to their own bodies), women’s access to contraceptives, equal pay for women, and more women in the workforce, but I am not a feminist, and I will outline as clearly as I can why people hate on feminism. Feminists don’t actually promote gender equality, because they deny inequalities exist that disadvantage men, like how custody courts demonstrably discriminate against men, how men serve more time in prison than women for the same crime, and how men are required to pay more in child support and alimony than their female counterparts of an equal financial situation. I’ve yet to see a single feminist complain about the fact that men are required by law to sign up for the draft, to go off and die in a war that they may not support, but women don’t have to. This is unreasonable, and I can’t support it. Feminists act as if they have these unfair social pressures on them that men don’t experience, completely forgetting the fact that the suicide rate for men is 4 times higher than for women, and that men are 8 times more likely to be depressed, because of the social pressures on them to be financially successful and to provide for their families. When it comes to social stigma, men get the short end of the stick here. This is unreasonable, and I can’t support it. Feminists assert that all alleged female victims of sexual assault aren’t actually allegedvictims, they’re just victims, and if we challenge one’s victimhood, we’re victim-blaming, chauvinistic bigots (I mean, heaven forbid an accuser actually have to PROVE he or she was harmed by the accused). Nowadays, if a woman accuses a man of sexually assaulting her, feminists immediately insist he’s guilty, and if the court concludes there’s no evidence to support the accusations, it’s because of “patriarchy.” This is unreasonable, and I can’t support it. Feminists insist that all behavior differences between genders are purely social, contrary to what decades of peer-reviewed research in evolutionary biology, phylogenetics, anthropology, neurobiology, and endocrinology have demonstrated. Science has shown that gender roles and behavior differences between men and women are more biological than social, yet feminists won’t have any of it. If you’re a woman and you don’t feel “nurturing,” that’s great for you! But this isn’t because you’re some beacon of social justice, standing against the strong current of expectation; it’s because you’re an anomaly. Women are more nurturing because of oxytocin, estrogen, and progesterone, and men are more aggressive because of the conversion of testosterone to estradiol in the brain (it isn’t some grand coincidence that neutering your dog makes him more docile). As a suma cum laude double major in Neuroscience and Biochemistry, this is unreasonable and I can’t support it. Feminists whine that men looking at their boobs and other expressions of sexual attraction are piggish, and the result of men’s “entitlement to women’s vaginae.” If you observe the behavior of any high-functioning primate, you’ll see the same interactions. Catcalls are not necessarily disrespectful, and it’s not sexist for a man to be upset that you won’t have sex with him. Men are biologically wired to chase after mates and spread their seed. Contrary to what you’ve read in your textbooks of post-modernistic nonsense, a man’s libido is much stronger than a woman’s, and just because a man expresses sexual interest in you doesn’t mean he’s a misogynistic pig, it means he’s a biological male. (It’s worth noting that the same communication is present among gay men. Women don’t play a part in this, so it’s safe to conclude that catcalls and the pursuit of sex has nothing to do with patriarchy.) The original ideas for feminism are great, but feminists have taken them to an extreme. You aren’t the victims you paint yourselves to be, and that’s what people get upset about. Last halloween, a girl in one of my classes was dressed like Amelia Earhart. Trying to be friendly, I say, “Are you Amelia Earhart? I love her!” She responds with, “Just because I’m a woman with vintage pilot goggles on doesn’t mean I’m Amelia Earhart! I’m whoever I want to be!” Feminists seem to not realize that behaving like a royal bitch doesn’t make you an “empowered woman,” it makes you a royal bitch. Feminists also need to understand that dissent does not equal misogyny. I don’t disagree with you because I’m a misogynist–I’m the furthest thing from a misogynist–I disagree with you because you’re wrong. Stop mistaking being contradicted with being persecuted; it’s incredibly annoying, and an insanely unattractive attitude. I will continue to vote for politicians who understand that women should be in control of their reproductive systems, and that women should have the same opportunities for promotions and raises as men. But I will never support the irrational nonsense that the feminist movement has become. Women’s suffrage began over a hundred years ago, and women make up more than half of the population. The gay rights movement began only a couple of decades ago, and gay people only make up about 7% of the population. Perhaps feminists should ask themselves why they fail to garner anywhere NEAR the level of support as the gay rights movement. Hint: it ain’t “patriarchy.”