Need a dispenser there?

So this goes to all of Mann Co.

Quick question does this guy happen ta be wearin a hat cuz I stole somebody's snack cake wit my mouth an I got their hand wit it. Two fer one.

But now im like a thief thief.

Fred takes Dan's hand in a quick, polite handshake, before promptly pulling away – with how things are going, it would not surprise him if that action somehow caved in his hand. Or Dan's. Or both.

"Nice t'meetcha, Dan," he replies. "I reckon your workplace accident fellas coulda included me. I ain't too sure how many people have respawn incidents, but at this rate I ain't gonna be surprised if'n I hear of more."

He doesn't mention the way Dan nearly gives him the wrong name. He felt like that might cause an event of some sort.

He cocks his head curiously at the question, a knee-jerk reaction question of, "They still do that??" coming out of him.

Then, he clears his throat.

"Uh, nah, nah, I ain't no clone. There was a clone a' me hangin' around back in the old days, but, uh..."

That little bastard thought he could scare his boys using his face. Turned him damn well into swiss cheese and told the suits up top that they'd better seek a replacement or they'd have hell to pay.

The clone flashed a happy smile. "Cool!" Not cool. People being in accidents is not cool.

"And aw, no clone? Dangit. I wuz hopin fer a pally. Guess clone club's gonna have ta wait." Dan jokes lightheartedly, not at all actually caring. He liked feeling special. He is special. Specially ugly. Specially loved. He's so special.

"I didn't know Engie had a dad! That's so weird, like— ah, I guess everybody probably had a dad..." The clone, never once having experienced being born like a normal human, murmured to himself. "Oh, ya wanna go see em or somethin? I mean. Dads want ta do that, right? See their kids and whatever?" He scratches the side of his face, despite using a regular amount of strength it still left a few marks. "I never had a dad an' I probably never would or ever be one so I got nooo frame a reference beyond random stuff floatin round that I get to hear."

He had foster parents but they were allergic to being called parents... they felt more like weird zookeepers.... zoo... aw dang, he still really wants to go to the zoo... He wants to see if he could pet a tiger. A real, living tiger. It's probably gonna kill em but it's so fluffy... ah, wait. Conversation.

"But like, unless ya hate tha results ya probably wanna see em, rite? While ya out an' about?" He's got no idea why he cares about this topic. Why does he give a fuck, haha?

/《 He quickly catches up and grabs the clones shirt collar 》\

"What in the sweet hell do you mean before you die? You look fragile but surely you're not that fragile?"

Yoink! Dan is quite easily snatched, and he keeps pace just fine.

"Oh. Dang, I must've wandered real far." He clicks his tounge. Where was he assigned last...? Hm, he can't remember a thing.

"Everybody dies dont dey? I jus die faster. An' more often." Dan grins. "But yea I'm naw supposed ta be alive cause I'm basically an amalgamation of every fatal wound one guy got in various matches, so my body jus falls apart every so often. Sometimes one problem keeps tha other one from killin me fer a bit but most days I die at least twice, yanno?" He rambles, moving quickly. "Ya don't got respawn out 'ere?"

/《 Prince tilted their head, his lip curling up slightly as he frowns. Their jaws shifted, audibly clacking it's teeth together a few times. His eye darts to the leaves above them 》\

"A tight leash? Heheh, that sounds fun..." Dan fantasizes, for a moment, bout getting slowly strangled in the hot sun... wow, that's torturous... nice.

"...Eh? Oh! Yeah, that'd be cool!" The clone nods without thinking very long. "If ya can get me ta Teufort or some town I can probably find my way back 'fore I die! Would suck if my guts blew up in tha middle a' nowhere— didja say sunset?" Dan pauses mid-rambling, his cheery expression flicking to that of hesitance. He looks up at the sky.

"...Yea I don't like tha night... let's go find a town!" He nodded and marches off in a random direction. Dan. Dan where are you going. Dan you worm— no, that's an insult to worms. Dan you little shit. Turn back. DAN.

Fred caught the towel in one hand, offering a quiet word of thanks as he promptly used it to wipe his face off, listening to Dan's ramblings in the meantime.

"Could be worse," he says lightheartedly, "I can't even count the amount of times I done come out without eyes at all."

He lowers the towel, watching Dan with a curiosity of his own.

"I mean...I wouldn't recommend it," he says with a chuckle. "Gets kinda borin', bein' a machine's glorified TV dinner."

What a way to put it.

He chuckles awkwardly as Dan continues, bragging about his respawn-given ailments as if they were trophies – lord if only he were even half as gung-ho about it as this fellow seemed to be – and comment on how he'd figured out to work the terminal. But then, he sees the man's expression fall, and his brow furrows in mild concern.

He opens his mouth to ask, 'hey, you alright?', but then Dan's back up and at it again, continuing as if nothing had happened.

"Oh, uh– I'm, uh, Fred. Worked for BLU as their Engineer for a bit. 'Til the whole, y'know, respawn incident. And, er...Don't worry about it."

He's not explaining Southern quirks to this man. He's pretty sure he wouldn't remember anyway – fact is, he's pretty sure Dan's not going to remember most of this, if the past few minutes have been any indicator.

"Fred? Fred. I think I heard ya name before." Fred's a real common name though... or is it? (Yes, yes it is) Dan rubs his chin in contemplation. "Think my fosters mentioned a guy or two who got inta a workplace accident... might've been ya! Might've not been! Who knows?" He doesn't— wait, how'd he remember all the way back there?

"And course I won't. Why would I worry bout somebody I don't know?" The clone snorts with amusement. Worrying about everyone isn't his job now and it certainly won't ever be.

Upon being asked for his name, he points at his chest with a thumb. "Tha name's Jerm- naw." The young man sighs, shaking his head, "Jeez, m' head's actin' up today..." Not the first time it had, but... hmn.

"It's Dan! Daniel Fitzgerald, Dan." He grins, holding his bandaged hand out to shake. "Nice ta meetcha, Fred. Ya look a LOT like Engie, now that I think 'bout it... are ya like, clones?" He tilts his head, not once considering the more likely fact of them being blood relatives... though, seeing as Dan had no family of his own and was a clone himself, it seems logical for him to have such an assumption.

[Dan looks around and spots ghost Ben in the distance. He runs over. He has something in his mouth.]

[He drops it. It's a... rat nearly covered entirely with duct tape. It looks extremely confused.]

IS YOU :D

Ghost Ben

Ben also looks absolutely confused but he is also confused if Dan said it was him or if it was for him. But it quickly just turns to a smile as he hugs the clone.

"It's perfect, thank you Dan"

HEHEHEH YEEEAAAH.

[Dan does not explain his intent. He's just happy to get attention.]

He cocks a brow as he hears a muffled snap ring from Dan's chest – yep, been there, done that. Wonder if this fellow can also curl his hands into fists too tight and have his fingers go right through his palms, he thinks. Eugh.

"Easy there, Hoss," Fred says warningly. "Don't reckon you're any more structurally sound than me if'n you're crackin' things like that."

Lord, this weird little varmint was even more fucked up than he was – sure, he occasionally popped out missing pieces, and sure he was less than 100% structurally sound at any given moment, but at least he still had some shred of sanity left rattling in that head of his.

But also, what an intriguing fellow. The way he regarded Respawn was so much different from his own – talking as if he'd actually had one-on-one conversation with her more than just ONCE, and the way he claimed she was trying to help him rather than hurt him...

"Yeah? How's that?" he asks, moving to wipe away some of the blood on his glove. Oh, he'd popped out with his gloves! Joyous! ...Damn, no cigar, though. "You tell her that, way she dragged me on in there when I got too close, ripped me apart...Eugh. I didn't even know people could go in the way they came out. Reckon yer just luckier'n than me, in some weird way. She only let me out 'cause she thought this'd be entertaining, I reckon."

She wasn't wrong. This was rather interesting, he supposed. He hadn't considered that Respawn could fuck people up in other ways.

"Haha, yeah!" The runner confirms casually, taking off his hat for a moment to smooth his hair back, "once she put eyes in my throat! Dey were workin too, was pretty fun lookin at myself like dat."

He circles the man like a dog sizing up a new friend, eyes wide open and unblinking. After a moment, he digs around in the duffel bag he had on him and pulled out a towel. Since he wasn't in a match right now, he mostly had supplies for when his body would eventually bleed everywhere and/or fall apart. He offered the towel to the man with a small toss, grinning sharply.

"Oooh that sounds fun!" Dan's eyes sparkles with wonder and curiosity, "I hope she does dat to me... or maybe she did an I forgot? Maybe I'll ask." He won't. He'll forget.

"Course I'm luckier! I'm tha luckiest guy ever! I get ta die a million times an' come back with new problems, ain't that fun? Never a boring day!" He threw his arms up, bragging as if he were talking about Australium and riches.

"But well... I am kinda jealous, heh..." Dan sighs dramatically, looking at Fred with a playful frown struggling not to turn into a grin of amusement, "ya smart 'nuff ta figure out how ta talk to the real world while ya in dere... If I had that, maybe I would've..." his excitement flattens for a split second, amusement fading as he glances down at a corner with a haunted look.

"Would..." Would... what? What does he want to say? Why does his chest hurt? Is he dying?

"...What was I sayin?" Dan blinks himself out of his staring, shaking his head and looking towards the man, squinting as he tries to recall the past minute, "Oh, rite! Who are you, and who's Hoss?" Dan cheerfully asks, having failed to recall the past few seconds and choosing to go with whatever he managed to keep in his head.

/《 Prince gave a low, rumbling growl in thought. Their tail uncurled from around its legs and swept across the ground slowly. His eye flicked back to Dan 》\

"Nah they're furry. Cuz I said so." Dan giggles. He has no idea what hill he's dying on but he's digging his heels into it, he supposed.

At the question, Dan perks up, raises a finger to answer, pauses, lowers his hand with a confused expression. "I... dun remember." He realizes, humming. "I'm naw supposed ta be outside unless dere's special circumstances so ummm... no ideaaa..."

He should probably get back before his body gives out? Where is 'back' though?

/《 He tilted his head, their single eye narrowing 》\

A title? But... names ARE titles, right? You only call them 'titles' when the name sounds important, and Prince sounds pretty important. Especially with -ton. Ton means a lot, right? So Prince has two titles... or well, a ton of titles. Dang, what does this mean for the name economy?— Dan thinks to himself very important thoughts that totally make sense.

"...Mmm I dun get it..." the clone eventually squints, his singular braincell shrivelling up as they spoke, "...but okay!" He shrugs and lights back up, the confusion fluttering out of his expression like a moth into a mosquito zapper.

"And vegetables got fur! Some of em! Fer instance... coconuts." Dan confidently spits out, pausing a moment before adding— "And French bread."

Neither of them are vegetables. They're... just not meat. Dan, you idiot. How is French bread even furry??

"'Specially when ya leave em out for a while!"

...Oh. Mold. He's talking about mold.

"Sir Prince? Two whole titles, eh? Ya probably real important!" Dan openly snorts, finding the name funny. "I thought ya looked pretty tasty!" He shakes the hand firmly, licking his lips, "I also thought yer a big vegetable or somethin'! I mean, I never seen a guy like ya!"