I really like the fake malupination posts because I could have been the next serial killer but I didn't because I don't like malupination. i was a really horrible child but I was a fat incel first. Sure I thought about all kinds of violence and never really grew out of those thoughts I just developed psedo sympathy,,, ???,,, I have to be real i don't understand sympathy at all. I don't care about you and your problems but you're my friend so I'll comfort you! Wait is that like malupination,,, ???,,, I have actually manipulated someone before but I got tired and stopped and only do it on accident because my life makes me wanna stab someone until they die. Just all the time wanna stab you know. But I do go ,,, I'm horribly depressed cutting myself and wanna end it all (⁠•⁠‿⁠•⁠),,, to someone who is also depressed and whatnot who actually has a lot more to be depressed about. My family kinda sucks, that's it I never had any bruising and I was the one making bruises but I think it does come down to neglect rather than just physical abuse or sexual abuse that one of my friends have had one ,,, not just from family but they get horrible nightmares at times,, and I feel like a shitty person when I complain even though they are completely supportive of me. I'm sorry I can't cope. I'm sorry I'm a horrible person. My life does suck because I have apathy. There's nothing about my life that truly makes me happy. Sure I get hyper fixations then after the dose I get really upset. Current hyper fixation and I like a character then sob hard because I don't think anyone loves me and will never do. I have a gf. I have had previous relationships. Okay they ended horribly so it does show that they didn't love me but the fact my gf puts up with me for over the honeymoon period shows she loves me. And we talk about our future and itty bitty bits about it. We nearly broke up due to mental health and had phases of not talking to eachother. I promise I love her even a little bit. I'm just sad. But happy because I like to talk and talk and talk even if I don't get attention but I'm hedonistic and nihilistic. Or bipolar,,, that's a good chance of that. Oh and my friend makes public posts and is very open about her being abused and being depressed she has a vent account on Tumblr too and I like all her posts from a different account because I don't want her on this account but she is fine with me spilling her business I often do when meeting people with similar issues to her

Slight debate. Back when I didn't want to identify as plural and thought heavy about dissociation. I thought about those with memory loss recording their environment. I know what most systems are in tune with one another but I didn't know it then. But if my hypothetical exists, would it be weird? I know meta glasses are weird but that's because they are perverts. I know with meta glasses you can't tell if you're going into a private folder or a public server. But would recordings even help? I know for the diagnosis thing to says like ,,, notes left that you don't remember taken ,,, is that counting as that sorry word jumbled I was young and all I got introduced to for plurality was split or whatever that demonizing movie about did is. And lolcows about did ,,, fakers ,,,

I hate fuild sexualities when it comes to being plural. Only one of us is a homosexual and only one of us is straight we don't fucking know about anything. Out lesbian still comments about fictional men she likes and then another fronting goes on about how they are attractive and we can't fucking tell be because that's the lesbians favorite character not the bi. And then we look at women and we go eh okay and ohhh okay 😏 and then when it comes to relationships we shift so much and we are so different. Aro lesbian co hosting while we had a boyfriend !!! Other co host ?? Hetero male !!!! I'm glad the relationship ended before we actually started to call ourselves plural. I think we would have regretted having sex with him, we already regret what we did b4 that. But still relationships are stupid and I'm glad we figured out poly b4 plurality. Like we aren't mono and we aren't poly but that's only because we have differential headmates! Hate hate hate. Also I can't masturbate in piece anymore. It's so weirddd when it comes to relationships. I'm glad I'm not all that desperate.

I hate everything. I hate it. I hate talking to my gf. I care ,,, somewhat ,,, about her and I ,,, somewhat ,,, love her. She's also a system member and autistic so I know it's just battle for the disabled here and not just me being mean. I'm overstimulated and mega stressed that's all. Do I have wierd sayings? I don't care. Friends? Don't talk to me or also autistic. I had a big sob today and I'm going to scream into a pillow because I like being loud when upset. I'm just a classic autistic child. Ugh I hate feeling I hate it I hate it. I don't I'm just stressed (⁠╥⁠﹏⁠╥⁠)

I was and am a hyperactive kid. I just didn't have a phone or headphones. I would get low sugar and no added sugar drinks because I was "hyperactive" when I had sugar. Nothing changed but my taste for sugar. I really hate sugary drinks now and can only drink diet.

God half of those right wing nazi take people on social media look like incest babies. I know that's insensitive but like they are not pretty enough to be saying those shit about privileges. They look stupid, like genuinely unintelligent.

I like alternative fashion I've always been a big scene fan. For the past few years I've been exploring styles and makeup because I grew up as a man because male host. My gen x and gen y ( !!! ) family members keep poking fun of how I dress. Sometimes I get comments like I am a child. I don't find it funny. Why do they. Am I'm autistic so I'm peculiar about my hair and such so like this is a big thing! I like this, it's a shoot off of how I looked. Yes I'm dressing old fashionedly it's actually really popular nowadays !!!! Stop it stop it stop it you offline bully. I'm clearly not liking it so stop it.

Sometimes I get really bad pains on my legs and makes me wonder if I do need any mobility aids then the pain goes away for a few days and makes me feel silly but I get painful chronic pain so I would but I feel fake

Self harm is an accidion... Wow. I didn't even last five minutes. Luckily I don t know how to cut harder.