Fuck it bruh

can’t believe i’m about to say this but…. sometimes i go a full hour without kissing my cat on his little soft head

you did not watch out?? when i specifically asked you to??? what’s santa gonna do now

sometimes i take off my glasses just to Not See Things

listen i hate ads as much as the next guy but i would rather die by the blade than give any website the financial power over me to pay to remove them

the benefit of working from home is taking a 40 minute crying break whenever u want

coffee isn’t enough, i need zeus to throw a lightning bolt at me

girls will go to europe once for 8 days and then never stop posting “take me back” on instagram

you can tell a lot about a person by their spotify wrapped

god gives his neediest millennials to his most annoyed cats

weed is low key goated when being with your whole family for the holidays is the vibe

my body may be a temple but my brain is a garbage can

girls will go to the UK once and post pictures with captions like “I’m never coming home”