caffeinated cryptid

My piece for the @dcfanmadezines Local lesbian aunt and her bi nephew hanging out after a hard night day of work.

I am not immune to superboy prime propaganda.

what Batman’s actually doing:

pushing past hour three of Riddler’s impromptu lecture on how tenses and verbal intonation affect the solution rate of his riddles

talking a random guy down from joining Penguin’s goon squad for better pay (“you’re not a killer, you just need friends” “…yeah”)

pulling electrodes out of Jim Gordon’s ass (again) because he’s the only one who won’t laugh

explaining compounding interest rates to Robin while doing 180 on the highway during rush hour

blacking out Harvey Dent’s window in Arkham because seeing the waxing/waning moon was giving him anxiety

jumping out at kids skipping curfew and scaring them

spending so much money on charity that Lucius Fox is impressed he can still successfully embezzle from WE at the same time