you have survived so much that no one remembers. and you still spread warm rain on all your overgrown lots. and you still get dressed in the morning. you still open wide for the sun
        if sung-min could bury himself further into his clothes he would, the winter breeze alighting sensations at every inch of exposed skin, the lower half of his face had already dipped to cover lips with fabric â nose resting atop material. one would think that they were among a snow storm with how he was reacting. shoulders shrugged to begin his response, because, though he had full intentions to reacquaint with his workstation, there was no set time that he needed to arrive ( as long as he hit the deadlines, few questions were asked to his working hours â and, considering the amount he overworked, it was unlikely that he would receive complaints ). plus, the mention of hot chocolate was appealing.
        â umâ i was just going to the studio, â he lazily pointed in the direction of the building, contemplating the offer that had been presented to him ( he did have work that needed to be done, but would an hour or so really make too much difference? ), with words trailing off to silence. â if you want my company ⌠i- work can wait, â sung-min responded after a moment of contemplation, tiers tugging to offer an awkward- yet soft- smile, grateful for the offer. it wasnât often that people were to offer sung-min to join them to do things, though that was likely because of the volume of times he was to decline ⌠sung-min accepting to do something other than work was increasing in rarity. â just promise that you wonât go throwing snowballs at me any time soon ⌠â sung-min lightly joked, though truth was laced in words, trying to shift his awkward demeanour.
đđ đđđ đđđđđđđđ that his offer was accepted, his hand reaching out to hold sungminâs hand without much thought as he went on into a spiel. âi do want your company so i am grateful that you are giving me a bit of your time and attention. hopefully, i will not be taking too much of it because the last thing i want is for you to be behind work because of me. though, i think anyone would agree that hot chocolate is a better option than doing work at any time of the time.â his hand holding onto sungminâs still, taeyang began to lead them to the cafe he has in mind while continuing to take charge of the conversation, not minding that he was doing most of the talking.Â
âi promise that there would not be any snowballs thrown at you. there will only be hot chocolate and a cosy spot for you to relax in. though, i cannot promise you that there might not be any snowball fights issued while on the way to and back from the cafe. if we do find ourselves in a snowball fight, i will protect you from the attacks the best i can.â taeyang looks over to sungmin and tosses out a joke, giving a wink at the end of it. âcannot afford our prince to be under siege while out and about on his own after leaving his tower.âÂ
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âwell, i am not too sure as to what do i answer with as the question is rather vague. if it is about dreamdrop and the members, then there is nothing for me to say as whatever plans for their debut is still under wraps and in the process so any bit of information about their debut is deeply guarded and not to be shared. if you wish for me to speak about the relationships between the members, i will have to tell you that it is between the girls to establish however and whatever relations they want with each other so it is not my place to talk about them and how they get with the other members. if it is about the staff, there is not much to say as all of us are working very hard currently to ensure that the debut of dreamdrop will become a success. i appreciate every single thing my colleagues are doing and none of this would be possible without them. if it is about myself, there is not much to share, really. all i ever do these days is wake up, get to work, do work, finish work and then head home to sleep before the cycle repeats itself. occasionally, i would try to squeeze in some time to go cycling in the mornings or an hour in the gym. so no, there is not really much tea to be shared from me. sorry, maybe someone else would be better to ask?â
        it had felt like weeks of non-stop work, with a constant flow of requests being asked of him and having no option to decline, sung-min had easily created double-digit amount of tracks ⌠and thatâs only counting the pieces that he hadnât scrapped, or put on hold for a while. it was common for him to do that, delay the completion of a piece ( if not to get rid of it entirely ) when it wasnât going exactly to plan, because to dwell on it would only be wasting time â and, when working to a deadline, you can not be wasting time. taking a sip of the coffee that was before him, now cold in temperature after being left untouched for just a bit too long, sung-min made the decision to draw up the files for earlier tracks. hopefully now heâd be able to recognise their flaws and fix them to a usable piece.
       itâs to be noted that sung-min never had, nor has, any intention of ever complaining about his workload ( even if it had been proving to take a toll on him â physically and mentally ), because not only was it not in his nature to do so, but because to complain would get him nowhere â and he does enjoy his job, even with all the pressure that come with it, and the risk of completely running himself into the ground.Â
       with another hour passing of listening to old work and no progress being made, sung-min made the decision to take a break â which is also known as running to grab a fresh coffee from the vending machine and returning within less than five minutes â so, he rose to feet with reluctance, with his bones aching following not moving for who knows how long, and headed out of the studio. sung-min had his path memorised, down to the quickest route to the coffee machine, and the exact buttons to press without even having to look, as to not waste time. but, distraction came in the form of a light shining from an office, and sung-min found it impossible to refuse to opportunity to check in on whichever manager was to be occupying â the fact he hadnât socialised in days only fuelled matters â so, following a knock on the door, he walked in.
       â just ⌠â sung-min soon realised he hadnât thought through what exactly he even wanted to talk with the other about, shyness instantly consuming his being, â uhâ just thought iâd see how youâre doing? â
đđđ đđđđđ đđ đđđ had been enough to have him feeling a bit greater, his day taking a turn for the better albeit a little into the day. âhonestly it has been a rough day but on the bright side, the day is almost over and i can breathe a little after running around all day.â at times, taeyang missed having a day that kept him to his desk the entire day because of the monotony and having a routine to stick by. not having to worry about the unexpected, a safe and stable job that keeps him paid and not questioning if he will be receiving any pay for the upcoming month. however, he also knows that such a work-life is not for him, not feeling content and comfortable to be doing the same old things day in and day out with nothing to challenge him to think better and do better. while people dread about the stress and extra work, taeyang thrives off of it, even if he does frequently complain about the nature of his work in his mind.Â
âthat is enough about me. how about you? how has work been for you? did you stay on late in the studio last night?â sometimes, when taeyang thinks that he and eunji work very hard, he remembers about the producers and how they push themselves even more than anyone else in the morning to produce great results. he likes to think that is why he has a soft spot for them, gesturing for sungmin to take a seat at the table with him. âhave you eaten? would you like anything else to go with the coffee?â
       having noticed the weather warnings ( luckily ) before departing from his apartment, prompted to check following the stream of excited posts on social media â the weather application having confirmed their comments â sung-min had made the extra effort to layer up. with a rather larger hoodie draped over his petite frame ( covering over his usual attire of a sweatshirt and jeans ), combined with a puffer-coat and a scarf, sung-min stepped out and prepared to brace the cold. it was no secret that he dealt poorly with cold weather, even in typically warm conditions his hands would still feel comparable to ice, and today wasnât going to offer anything different. the moment the cold air glided over skin nose and cheeks became decorated with a rose hue, and fingertips began to stiffen. thatâs not to say the the boy didnât like snow, the whimsical nature of cascading snowflakes had always been visually pleasing and fuel for a childlike mind, but just that his body wasnât physically equipped to dealing to such weather conditions.
       approaching the familiar face, sung-min offered a gentle smile in appreciation of their excitement, wishing that he could exude the same energy that they had. â it is, â sung-min confirmed, not that it took a genius to recognise the weather, â noâ but, itâs nice to admire it from inside⌠â he spoke shyly, trying to conceal the sniffles from his nose.Â
đđ đđđđđ đđ đđđđđđ  consider heading inside soon, his coat only being able to protect him from the cold for so long but he wants to admire the snow a little longer before he returns to his work for the rest of the night. the child in him wants to run out onto the streets to see how much of the city has become a winter wonderland, maybe find a few friends to play with him as they try to make some snowballs out of the lumps of snow on the ground. alas, the adult in him wins the battle for now as he exercises some restraint and instead, send the video forward to his family for them to enjoy as well.Â
the number of layers he sees the younger wearing makes him chuckle a little, only because they were looking adorable even if their only intention was to keep warm. âare you heading somewhere?â it is not often that the producer was out of the studio, only able to count on one hand the times he has personally seen him be apart from his workstation so there was either something important or something he wanted to do. âif you arenât and you have no plans, could i offer you to drink some hot chocolate with me? i think there is no better time to enjoy some hot chocolate along with some desserts to go with it. the only thing that would make it better would be having some company along with it.âÂ
Forgive me if I talk and talk and seem to say nothing. I have such tender feelings for you that I canât express. I want to be simple and direct with you. You have given me such joy â with your curious voice and your conversation and your laugh and all that is you. I feel real sadness at your sadness â but also, I feel deep joy because you exist. I know very well the feeling of wanting to die â but one doesnât die, one survives, and one is happy once more, people are good. The miracle happens. Meanwhile, my dear, take it all gently and patiently.
Iris Murdoch, from a letter to Raymond Queneau c. July 1946
(via oscarkindersley)
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đđ đđđđ đđ he had seen news and photos of it trending across the different social media platforms, whatever stresses of the day left him immediately. he had to see it for himself, grabbing his phone and running out of the office until he was by the entrance of the building. he looks up in awe at the sight of the snow falling, reaching out of one of his hands to catch some of it in his hand. there was just something about the snow that makes brings out the childlike wonder in everyone and it is no different for taeyang. it is the little things like that has taeyang believing that there are still joys and wonders to be found in this world, despite how it might feel sometimes that everything is spiralling into the worst possible outcome. he lifts up his phone and begins recording the snowfall with the night sky as its backdrop, feeling like he was falling into a trance the more he watches the snow. once he was satisfied with the video he has taken, he plays the video over and over a few times, not finding himself getting tired of it anytime soon. Â
he looks over his shoulder when he hears footsteps heading his away, giving them a small wave before gesturing over to the snow. âitâs snowing! well, it certainly had snowed before this but it is definitely heavier and greater than the last time! i am excited for spring to arrive but i do not think there is anything wrong about one more snowfall, right?â
        â n-no, â awkward laughter bubbled over lips, a palm scratching at the nape of a neck as he searched for protesting words â taeyang was not exactly wrong, whatâs the worst sung-min could ever actually do? especially for a boy thatâs scared of his own shadow. probably miss a deadline, because he fell asleep on his keyboard again and corrupted all his files ⌠and that was pushing the extent of it ( it was highly unlikely that something like that would ever happen, especially because sung-min backs everything up ). â you know â reckless things, thatâs chaotic. â right? arms folded across a chest, threat of a pout on tiers, sung-min was being read completely and he did not like it one bit ⌠not that he would ever actually complain about it. but who knew he was so predictable? where had his enigmatic energy disappeared to?Â
       an awkward, yet warm, smile was directed towards the other, â t-thanks⌠â sung-min really wasnât one that was comfortable in accepting what could be interpreted as a compliment, or that was just a straight up compliment, shyness consuming his being with his reaction. turning his back to taeyang, so that focus could be directed to the computer for a moment â several clicks to bring back up the piece he was working on, and already there was a nauseating sensation in his stomach ( god, this really wasnât his best work ⌠if anything it was the furthest thing from â at least in his opinion ). â ready? â sung-min hummed as dark hues flickered to now reacquaint with the other. with a thumbs up offered, and headphones firmly placed on, sung-min twisted back and pressed play ; distancing himself from the glowing screen and turning away as to not focus on a reaction. disappointing himself was enough, never mind to disappoint someone else â especially when that person was a manager.
đđ đđđđđđđ đđ Â he should mention that sunny was instead sounding and looking adorable in trying to convince him of having a rebellious spirit in him rather than chic and cool. taeyang decides against saying anything about it, playing along with it as he nodded while trying not to smile. taeyang is not one to promote recklessness and he was one who prefers to uphold law, order and peace but maybe, he would be okay with rules being broken a little bit if it meant he got to see a different side to the normally quiet and reserved boy. would he be laughing and smiling more than he does at work? would he able to witness excitement and enthusiasm radiating off him as he talked about what he loved or did things that made him feel alive? it is just little things like this that has taeyang curious and wondering if he would get the answers to them.
âready.â taeyangâs expression turned serious as the music played, deep in thought as he paid attention to how the melody played and how it transitioned to one part of the song to another. he thinks about how the members would sound on the song, the lyrics that would go along with it and which member fits which segment of the song best. if this would be a track strong enough to be a title track paired with the right concept or if it is better suited to be a hidden gem as a b-side to a single or an album. he was still analysing everything about the track even when music no longer played between the headphones, carefully picking the song apart and then building it together to form a new image. âi like it. i think it would be a good song to showcase each of the membersâ strengths. there are an airiness and an almost dream-like quality to it that fits the image and the concept that the group is going for. i think the most interesting part is one would expect the song to be more of a ballad or a slower song given the qualities of the song but with it being a more upbeat tempo instead, there is this feeling of reassurance and hope to the song, if it makes any sense. am i making sense?â
        instead of protesting, knowing better than to continue a disagreement ( regardless of the level of severity â in this case it being very low ), sung-min offered an awkward smile in gratitude ⌠a bow of his head accompanying the upturned tiers. not that he had been convinced, but sometimes it was easier to accept losses, rather than bickering over things that didnât need to be dragged out â and sung-min didnât like any form of confrontation. considering he only came to the company when producing tracks was nothing but a hobby, it was no surprise that he didnât think highly of himself nor his work â he was in no way as experienced as he wished to be, and had never been educated on the correct and/or best way to do what he did. if anything, he was just ⌠winging it and hoping for the best.
       shrugging, as conversation proceeded, sung-min held back light laughter â corners of lips only twitching instead â âcould be for any reason. â it was highly unlikely he was to ever do anything wrong to be dismissed from the company, other than slack on his work, considering he was and always had been the type to abide by rules ⌠but that didnât stop him from joking about the idea. â could get up to some chaos ⌠â he had no plans to, nor would he ever, but the suggestion still hummed out, â who knows? â everyone knows, thereâs no chance.
       â yeah, sure, â sung-min reassured, nodding as to emphasise his point, â itâll be nice to get a second opinion on it ⌠before itâs deemed a lost cause. â a heavy exhale threaded from lips, fingertips brushing through and ruffling his own hair â itâs usual state was typically messy, disturbed through the constant shifting with his headphones â and he handed headphones to the other. he was anxious to share unfinished work, especially when it was with taeyang, but he didnât want for them to feel pressured to stay for what could be hours until it till it was refined â and barely at that.
đđđđđ, đđđ? âand what would be your idea of chaos be? because if your idea of chaos is putting off work for a while to get some extra sleep in or to just not do anything at all, then i will say the both of us share the same idea on chaos.â especially in taeyangâs case, if he was to even step away from the kids for even an hour, he just knows that the dorm will go into a disarray, one of the members would go missing and eunji will be on the phone yelling for him to come back as soon as he can because the kids would rather listen to him. Â
watching the other mess with his hair made taeyang wonder if his hair is as fluffy and soft as it looks to be. he is very aware that he is nowhere close to sunny yet to just reach out and have a feel of his hair without having the younger feeling weirded out. so it is with much restraint and disappointment that taeyang holds himself back from trying to touch sunnyâs hair. âit will be an honour of mine if i can give you my opinion and it will help you in improving the song. though i have not heard it, i do not think it is going to be as much of a lost cause that you say it is. you could say that it is a gut instinct of mine and it is usually never wrong.â he does not think he will be wrong this time either, sending him a bright smile and a thumbs up to reassure him before placing on the headphones.Â
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valentineâs day this year is not different from the previous years since he has been at noir. it is a tradition for him by this point and he had no plans to stop it anytime soon. he would not go as far as to say that he gave people a reason to look forward to valentineâs day but they do tell him as such when valentineâs day comes so it must be true, right?Â
every year, taeyang can be found wearing a bright red sweater with a basket hanging from his forearm, giving out his handmade candles along with roses to everyone. each time it is given out to someone, he never fails to remind them why he loves them and that his love for them extends beyond valentine. the smiles and the laughter he gets in return to his gifts is the reason why he keeps doing this every year. he is down to his final one as he hands it over to the receptionist, chuckling at how she still has a surprised expression despite all this time they have known each other.
every year, she never fails to ask the same question.
âdo you have a valentineâs this year?â
every year, he replies the same.
âno valentineâÂ
except for this year, it is a little different, adding a little more at the end of the sentence under his breath. Â
at least, if things go to plan, he will have one by the end of the night.Â
it is after he has checked that the coast is clear and there not being any possible interferences that he finally makes his move, one hand gripping tightly to a bouquet the closer he gets to the object of his affection. he has practised multiple times on what he wants to say, how to not to make a fool out of himself but now as he stands in front of the door that separates him and them, he finds himself questioning if he should go through with this.
he has thought about this for so long, as far as back as the start of the year considering every pros and con. he has taken into consideration how this could be a big risk not only for himself but also for them, career-wise and emotionally. he has talked himself through what it could mean for the both of them once he crosses the line drawn and if that is something he really wants to do.Â
is this worth putting his heart on the line for? even if it turns out badly and awkward for them both?
yes.
taking a deep breath, he knocks on the door. he quietly enters the room after getting a response, gently shutting the door behind him and finding a little relief that they were not looking at him yet because god knows he is trying to gather up whatever courage he can right now. when they do meet eyes though, taeyang is clearing his throat as he holds out the bouquet of babyâs breath for them to take.Â
âhappy valentineâs day. if you would allow me to be bold for a moment, i wish to tell you that i hope to get to know you more. more than just colleagues or co-workers. i do not wish to simply be friends but if only being friends is what you wish for, i hope you can accept this gift knowing that you are not going to hurt my feelings if that is what you want. being able to be someone in your life is more than enough for me and i will not stop caring for you simply because we remain friends.â he knows he is rambling and he knows that a lot is being said for anyone to process but he just wants to be thoroughly sure that they understand his feelings, regardless if they accept it or not.Â
âin the event that like me, friendship is not the only thing you want between us, i hope you will allow me to spend the remaining hours of valentineâs day with you and take you out on a date. i have everything planned, from the location to the food to the scenery and i know that it is bold of me to assume that you would say yes but i guess you could say, i just wanted to trust my gut instinct that maybe..maybe i am not the only who wishes to get closer.â he just hopes he has not been wrong this entire time.Â
âif you say yes, we can go right away and i will do what i can to not make this a night you will regret. what do you say?â
        whilst shaking a head in protest, a nose scrunched alongside the motion â as if in emphasis, sung-min forced back amused laughter ; the thought that he was even close to being the best producer was ridiculous. there was no chance. â now youâre speaking nonsense, â words hummed, a softness gracing expression as to indicate there was no form of malice in his comment â sung-min was mediocre at best, at least in his own opinion. he was still surprised that he was ever offered the job at noir, forever filled with the sensation that he was unworthy of his position ( which didnât help with the pressure of trying to provide the best for the group ), more so when he was working alongside someone who had so much talent than he did. â and i know youâre just saying that, â he shrugged, taking all remnants of meal from his lap and placing them upon a table â returning back to his seat at his work station â â but, thank you. â
        it was becoming more difficult to control the burning sensation that was dancing at the apples of cheeks, with compliments being directed towards him ; especially with the implication that he was actually a wanted member of the noir team, it was a rare occurrence for sung-min to ever feel like he was of any value. â well ⌠i donât plan on going anywhere, â he offered, a hint of reassurance in a tone ( reluctant to really be reassuring, considering he didnât know if taeyangâs words were genuine and not just feeding into sung-minâs delusion ), â at least not unless i get kicked out. â there was a joking nature to his tone, albeit a little awkward, as he turned back attention to his work â it wasnât going to finish itself, after all. â oh, doâ do you want to listen? â sung-min reluctantly offered, holding out his headphones towards the other, awkward smile now claiming lips, â itâs, uh, a work in progress. â
đđđ đđ đđđ đđđđđ đđđđđđ.  he has no reason to lie, especially when it comes to someoneâs talent or skills. it makes him a little sad to see sunny respond to him the way, wondering for how long and how often has sunny been made to feel like he was inadequate despite excelling in his passion. âi am speaking the truth and anyone else would agree with me. i do not say things just to flatter, i say them to let someone know their hard work and efforts are seen and appreciated.â it might be a little hard to believe and to accept for anyone at the receiving end of his compliments but he will keep saying them for as long and as much as he needs to ensure that they know and understand it well and hopefully, start to think of themselves as highly as he does of them.Â
âkicked out? i am not able to think of a reason why you would be kicked out- and do not say because the quality of your work is not up to standard because it is!â on the other hand, if it came to the dreamdrop kids, as much as he loves them, he could think of a few names and the possibilities of them getting into enough trouble to get kicked out by the company. sorry, kids. but that is why he was here at the company to make sure that doesnât happen, right? at the offer of hearing a new track, he holds back his excitement because he wants to be sure that it is alright with the other to hear it first. âis that okay? if you are not satisfied with it yet or if you want to work on it a little more, thatâs alright. i donât mind waiting until it is how you want it.â
          a soft shrug played at sung-minâs shoulders, warmth bleeding through the reassuring smile offered ( through eating, of course ), as he listened intently to the other ⌠â sometimes it takes trying your dream to realise that maybe itâs not suited for you, â  there was a pause, as if he was trying to conjure more words â admittedly, this was probably the most heâd spoken over the last few days, considering he doesnât engage in conversation often ( especially not willingly ) â â or that you have a dream thatâs greater than the first. â  throughout his childhood sung-min held many dreams, all completely different, but had no expectations to ever achieve them. probably because he was certain that he was going to be stuck in the same situation, at least until he suffered the same fate as his sister had, so to even be in the career he was in felt like nothing short of a privilege â a dream, even â despite all the pressures that came with it.
          the gentle laughter continued to bubble, brushing away thoughts that had entered his head, as he played along with the other â trying his best, at least. sung-minâs strengths didnât necessarily fall in social interaction, especially when it came to cracking jokes and teasing ⌠he had a habit of taking a lot of things literally, and then ruining the joke as a result. there was something about taeyang that had made sung-min feel at ease, however, and so he thought it would be best to at least try ( at least until he made a complete fool of himself, and would have to retreat back into offering minimal exchanges with the male ). â definitely â and iâd be certainly be sending all my best songs your way, â his smile radiated, the creases of eyes deepening with the motion, â thatâs if you hadnât found a better producer. â  not that it was hard.
          the brightness that had claimed features faltered with the other making the distance between their bodies shorter, breath hitching in panic for a short moment. it wasnât often that he let people close to him, at least not people heâd not developed a close relationship with, as he found it difficult to trust anotherâs hand ⌠but taeyang made him feel at ease. and, though with a slight flinch, he allowed the other to brush away residue from features â offering a smile at the conclusion, trying to not draw attention to the addition of rose hue upon cheeks. â o-oh, thanks, â  sung-minâs voice had gone considerably quieter, shyness seeping with ever motion, andâ waitâ did taeyang just call him handsome?
đ đđđđđđ đđđđđđđđ? âbut you are the best producer there is.â and he is not saying that just to flatter. he means it completely. he had listened to both the works the producers have done back when the ceo had for his and eunjiâs opinions about having them as the groupâs producers, having spent the past few days sifting through the possible candidates. hiring them that day was the easiest decision they have made. taeyang has complete trust and faith in the producers, to say the least. âi cannot think of anyone better that would do well and justice to the group besides you and naomi. the kids would agree with me.â he was sure that the kids would go so far as protesting and putting up a fight if anything was to happen to either producer and honestly, he would join them too.Â
âyour songs are great and the kids enjoy working with you.â that says a lot when the kids hold a high and great opinion of someone. âso i am not going to be letting go of you anytime soon.â realising the implication of what he said, taeyang quickly rectified the statement, stumbling over his words a little because the last thing he wants is to make sunny comfortable when he has seen him opening up a little. âthe company, i mean. we the company and the rest of the staff will not want to have such talent walking away from us. though certainly, if you feel like being here is not enough for you and you think you will be able to grow as an artist better elsewhere, you have every right to go when you wish and need to. it will be sad to see you go nonetheless, if and when you do.â especially if he was not able to get to know sunny better before then. deciding that he has dug enough of a hole for himself, he stops himself before he makes himself a big fool. âso what were you working on before i came in?â
folks, i am back at it again to present you with more things about the residentâs golden retriever. if you would like to have a read or a refresher of the first post i made, you can find it over here. time to take another trip into taeyangâs head.Â
oh and before i forget, if you will like to add me on discord, it is moonchild#4265
DAYS OF YOUTH
okay, i did not mean to make taeyang sound like he was a total loner previously because he wasnât. he had friends but they were not like major, buddy-buddy friends. they were more of friends that he made and had out of circumstances i.e to complete group projects together or because they were in the same clubs as him etc
speaking of clubs, he was in the student council as the secretary along with being a part of taekwondoÂ
which probably does not help with the whole âhe is like a character that stepped out of a mangaâ image but it just be like that sometimes. he is not going to purposely fail at subjects and be terrible at things just so that he can prove that statement wrong, you knowÂ
his best subjects were history and literatureÂ
despite getting a monthly allowance and savings set up by his parents for university, he still went searching for a job nonetheless so that he can save up his own money and gain some experiences at the same timeÂ
his first job was a server for weddings and company functions. some of the other jobs he had were at a printing shop, a tutor and assistant librarian to name a fewÂ
he enjoys reading books to the children when he worked at the library because one, he can help them develop an interest in reading and two, he gets the chance to read his favourite book often: The Little PrinceÂ
he fell in love with the story of The Little Prince ever since his sister read it to him as a bedside story, each chapter each night. his love for the book had not stopped since and it only seems to grow as he gets older, collecting and gathering different editions and versions of the bookÂ
DREAMS AND ASPIRATIONSÂ
as mentioned before, he had dreamed of becoming a director and he still wishes to become a director but the company and the kids are the biggest and most important dream for him currentlyÂ
for the kind of films and shows he wishes to have a hand in creating, the best way he can describe the genre he wants to do is studio ghibliÂ
the magical realism, the warmth and the whimsical feeling that one can get from a studio ghibli film? that is the feeling he strives to have the audience feeling in his worksÂ
stories of families, of love and friends, to personal growth and discovery. or stories of the simpler things to enjoy and appreciate in life, those are what he loves and are interested in creating and showcasingÂ
he had created a youtube channel that he has since stopped updating for years now but on the channel are short films he has made before he started working as a manager
two of his films focuses on the lives and stories of a three-generation family, filmed over a year and split into half a year for each film. it is about a family in the countryside far from the city who runs a small soju business and it showcases the struggles they have to keep the business going in this new day and age to the differing opinions the family has about the future of the business but also showing the deep love and care they have for one another despite the struggles and the arguments they can get into. there is an emphasis on the meals and the food the family shares and creates as it is through food that the family is able to express their love and affection and he thinks many people can relate to being in families or knowing families who use food as a way to show care
one of his other films is about a dysfunctional family a high school girl has but through an unexpected incident that leaves the family shaken, it is from there that each member of the family learns what it means to have a family and how a family can help you through the better or for the worstÂ
ENTERTAINMENT INDUSTRYÂ
we all know how taeyang wears his heart on his sleeve. we see how much taeyang tries to do the right thing always
which makes the entertainment industry the worst place he could place himself in but he does it anyway because he wants to make a change and see the change of how the entertainment industry worksÂ
he has seen and been on the receiving end of being overworked and pushed to the limits without compensation or an increase in pay because the higher-ups keep telling them that because this is their passion, they should be happy that they are able to do what they love and that getting experience and exposure is more important than moneyÂ
he has witnessed how people use their positions and age to take advantage of those younger and newer in the workplace
he knows of the shadier and slimy ulterior motives companies and people may have and he wants to protect anyone he can as much as possibleÂ
especially the idolsÂ
his sister has been a victim of the mistreatment and harassment before back when she was a trainee so he has a pretty good idea of how bad it can get in the industry, from pre-debut to debut to long after the debutÂ
taeyang is not too popular with fellow, older managers and higher-ups because whatever advances they try to make on the kids under his care or trying to have him sell out his kids, he is quick to shut it down even if it means him getting lectured or having to deal with consequences
it has become a norm by now for him to screenshot messages or record his phone calls with whoever in the business because you just never know and when there is a need for evidence to appear to prove someoneâs wrongdoing, he has it prepared Â
ROMANCE
the number of relationships he had, he can count on one hand. that is mostly due to work getting in the way of his love life or the people he went on dates are not interested in starting a committed relationship
not interested in any fooling around, whatsoeverÂ
tae to put it simply goes all-in when it comes to the relationships so to head into a relationship, he wants to make sure of his feelings and the other.Â
would sit down and discuss what they want out of the relationship or what they hope for the future to be extra, completely sure about heading into a relationship
if he feels strongly about someone and he sees that other is hesitating to take a step further despite showing clear indications that they liked him too, he would be patient and continue on treating him the same way and reassuring them that they do not have to worry about anything but their own feelings and their comfort. his feelings are his own to deal with.
if they wanted to wait and see before taking the step, thatâs okay and he reminds them that he will be waiting for them however it takes to give him an answer. if they wanted to have things go up to there, thatâs okay and he will respect their decision while making sure they do not feel guilty about their decision. he was still going to care for them nonetheless, just as a friend now.Â
he is passionate with a capital P. he will go the extra mile without hoping or expecting anytime in return because he just wants to do it, especially if it means that it makes them smile or their day a little easierÂ
not shy about skinship but he reels it back it when at work or in publicÂ
not shy about expressing his love as well, whether it be through words or gestures
please he is just a sweetheart with plenty of love to give so please treat him tenderly
RELATIONSHIPSÂ
the most important relationship is the one between his mother and his sistersÂ
if taeyang is the soft-spoken, gentle side of the family, his sisters make up the fiery, passionate and stubborn side of the familyÂ
as mentioned previously, he has two sisters, eunbin and eunseo
his eldest sister works as an attorney while eunseo is a stay at home mom who works as a food blogger and youtuberÂ
if you think taeyang is protective and babies the kids a great deal, then his sisters are where he learned it all from because oh boy, they have plenty of care and love for him. he may grow older but he is always going to be their baby brother and they are going to continue treating him like the soft baby that he is
his mother joins in on the babying and he can only sigh with a fond smile on his faceÂ
his mother has been living with eunbin since he started attending university and he makes sure to visit her every weekendÂ
he likes to take his mother out for walks in the evening as he keeps his mother up to date with everything he is up to. so his mother has heard plenty of the dreamdrop kids and finds them cuteÂ
oftentimes you can find him by his motherâs side and chatting as he tries to follow his mother in her knitting with his ownÂ
the second most important relationship is the one with his niece and his nephew
they are both eunseoâs kids and he is often over at her house to play with themÂ
you best believe he cried when he saw them the first timeÂ
the best uncle you can ask for tbh because he is always ready to take care of them even if it means taking some time out of his schedule and is always patient with them even if say, one of them spills their juice over his tablet or doodled on his notes for workÂ
the next important relationship would be the people he has the pleasure of calling his best friends, sangmi and haeilÂ
both are people he befriended in university even though they were all in different majors
he met sangmi through a blind date a senior of his tried to set up for him. they tried to see each other a few times before they decided to remain as friendsÂ
oh if only she knew she was his first loveÂ
meanwhile, haeil was someone he came to know as sangmiâs childhood friend who recently reunited after having not seen each other in years. seeing haeil around sangmi was a common sight and naturally when tae and sangmi would hang out, haeil would join in as wellÂ
so from there, they just became a trio and continued on to be a trio despite their careers
though it is not too hard for sangmi and haeil to meet up as they become a couple and two years, they got married and with taeyang as haeilâs best man
they meet up at least once a month to catch up with each other, over some food and drinks before finishing the night at an arcadeÂ
MISCELLANEOUSÂ
his handwriting differs depends on which language he is writing in. if he is writing in korean or japanese, his handwriting is neat and uniformed like this. if he is writing in english, it is a slightly more cursive one, something like this. Â
speaking of japanese, the main reason why he started picking it up and learning it because the series he wanted to read did not have a korean translation so he decided to teach himself japanese just so he can start reading the mangaÂ
he has an instagram but because of how much his instagram has of the dreamdrop members and the staff at noir, it is no surprise if anyone was to mistake his instagram page as a fanpage by the first glance as there are hardly any photos of himself ever on his instagram. you would need to follow everyone else in the company to even get a look at his face. if it is not the company, he is posting photos of his niece and nephew, his sisters or the scenery he enjoyed that dayÂ
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specialities: playing the piano, taekwondo, d.i.y projects
birthday: 1st april
zodiac sign: aries
height: 1.78m
weight: 66kg
blood type: O
birthplace: ilsan, seoul
family: parents (divorced) and two sisters, the youngest in the family
education: apgujeong high school. film, television and multimedia at sungkyunkwan university
instagram: @suntae
nationality: korean
10 fast facts
besides his dream of becoming a director, there was a period of time where taeyang wanted to be a magician so he took lessons and taught himself magic tricks. he mainly learned how to do card tricks as it is the easiest to practice and to show
he prefers salty snacks over sweets and desserts unless they are more on the savoury side. the only times he eats desserts is during birthdays or when he is with his niece and nephew
while he does not believe in it or follows it closely, he finds it fascinating to read horoscopes and about astrological signs for the fun of it
the type of drunk where he goes completely silent and focuses deeply on whatever task or interest in front of him i.e stacking up empty glasses to form a pyramid, folding napkins into paper cranesÂ
his favourite animal is cats, wanting to raise one since he was a kid but was not able to due to his grandparents not allowing pets in the household. when he is able to find the time and has the opportunity, he hopes to adopt one
has a deep love for The Little Prince and Moomin. collects various editions of the books from either series along with collectables he can display in his home
his favourite actor is lee jung jae, having always been impressed by the cool but gentle charisma that the actor had ever since he started developing an interest in cinema
his favourite group was and is S.E.S and his favourite member is bada
he does not game much but when he does, he likes playing casual or point and click adventure games like animal crossing, stardew valley, oxenfree
gets shy when speaking in english because he worries that he sounds silly or not forming sentences properly despite being intermediate in the languageÂ
the first time he experienced heartbreak was when he was younger, maybe as young as when he was seven years old. he did not register it as heartbreak at that time, only understanding back then that there was this heavy feeling in his chest and the deep urge to cry when he looks at his mother. even when she was smiling and gently running her fingers through his hair as he laid his head on her lap, he felt a profound sadness that he will only understand later as sadness for the life that his mother had to live and the life that she could have had. he has seen his mother broken down and her patience tested to the very limit, watched her trembling hands and heard the quiver in her voice as she stood herself up to his feather repeatedly, only to be pushed back down every time as a reminder that she should know her place in the family. that her opinions and her feelings means nothing while her very existence, is nothing more than a means to get somewhere
he has seen his mother so broken that when his mother told him and his siblings that she will be leaving the household, albeit without them, he felt no resentment towards her and he remembers clasping her hands in his own tiny hands as he urges his mother to live a happy life, far away from the pain of this house and his father. they all huddled together closely the night before she left, all of them crying but not out of sadness, but of relief that finally, one of them would get to be free and living the life they wanted
it was difficult but his mother never complained or shown fear in the face of the challenges ahead of her in this new chapter of her life. it was a later start than most people to a new beginning but better late than never. no longer would he or his sisters have to see her be consumed by anxiety and no longer would they have to see broken again. she was going to be okay. she was going to be alright. she might not be the same person she was back then but at least she can move on and not be haunted by the past and suffering greatly from the scars left on herÂ
at least, that is what they thought
he is panting hard by the time he reaches the police station, running as soon as he had received the call from a police officer. he skids to a stop as he looks around the police station, trying to find his mother in the seas of faces around him until he spots her sitting in a chair in front of a desk. the officer called him over and he takes a seat beside his mother, trying to get a look at his mother but she would avoid his gaze every time he turns to herÂ
he hears the officer explaining to him how she ended up at the police station but they were all going over his head, more concerned about his motherâs well-being and his worry only increases with her not looking at him. he stands up and expressed his thanks to the officer, placing an arm gently around his motherâs shoulders and helping out of the police station. they were about to go down the steps when his mother stops, removing his arm around her as she looks at the ground
âwhatâs wrong-â
âiâm sorry.â
he swallows down the lump beginning to form in his throat as he tries to laugh it off, about to reassure his mother when she only continues onÂ
âiâm sorry iâm so useless. i cannot do anything right. i cannot even find my way to my sonâs place or remember his phone number and then i dropped my phone somewhere like a fool. iâm sorry that you have me as your mother. iâm sorry that i have done nothing for you except giving you trouble.â
his heart breaks again at the sight of his motherâs tears and he is trying his most damn hardest to stop his from falling as he puts up the best smile he can, lowering his height so that he can better wipe away her tears with the sleeves of his shirt.Â
âno, it is not your fault! not at all! the roads can get so confusing and there is always a new road being added so it is not your fault. not of it is your fault. and you are far from useless. you are here now with me, arenât you? you wanted to see me and find me, didnât you? that shows that you care about me and that is enough for me. more than enough. knowing that you care about me and love me is enough. you giving me your love is the most and the greatest thing you can do. you do not need to do anything more for me, okay? you are enough. you are a wonderful mother because if it were not for you, i would not be able to exist.â
he pulls his mother into his grasp and he lets out a shaky sigh, feeling his motherâs tears dampening his shoulder. he closes his eyes and takes a deep breath and against his will, he feels his own tears falling, quickly wiping them away with the back of his hands.Â
no, he needed to be strong for his mother. he canât afford to cry. not now, not anytime soon
âletâs go home, okay? letâs go home togetherâ Â