heart of gold

               if sung-min could bury himself further into his clothes he would, the winter breeze alighting sensations at every inch of exposed skin, the lower half of his face had already dipped to cover lips with fabric – nose resting atop material. one would think that they were among a snow storm with how he was reacting. shoulders shrugged to begin his response, because, though he had full intentions to reacquaint with his workstation, there was no set time that he needed to arrive ( as long as he hit the deadlines, few questions were asked to his working hours – and, considering the amount he overworked, it was unlikely that he would receive complaints ). plus, the mention of hot chocolate was appealing.

               “ um– i was just going to the studio, ” he lazily pointed in the direction of the building, contemplating the offer that had been presented to him ( he did have work that needed to be done, but would an hour or so really make too much difference? ), with words trailing off to silence. “ if you want my company … i- work can wait, ” sung-min responded after a moment of contemplation, tiers tugging to offer an awkward- yet soft- smile, grateful for the offer. it wasn’t often that people were to offer sung-min to join them to do things, though that was likely because of the volume of times he was to decline … sung-min accepting to do something other than work was increasing in rarity. “ just promise that you won’t go throwing snowballs at me any time soon … ” sung-min lightly joked, though truth was laced in words, trying to shift his awkward demeanour.

𝐇𝐄 𝐖𝐀𝐒 𝐄𝐂𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐂  that his offer was accepted, his hand reaching out to hold sungmin’s hand without much thought as he went on into a spiel. “i do want your company so i am grateful that you are giving me a bit of your time and attention. hopefully, i will not be taking too much of it because the last thing i want is for you to be behind work because of me. though, i think anyone would agree that hot chocolate is a better option than doing work at any time of the time.” his hand holding onto sungmin’s still, taeyang began to lead them to the cafe he has in mind while continuing to take charge of the conversation, not minding that he was doing most of the talking. 

“i promise that there would not be any snowballs thrown at you. there will only be hot chocolate and a cosy spot for you to relax in. though, i cannot promise you that there might not be any snowball fights issued while on the way to and back from the cafe. if we do find ourselves in a snowball fight, i will protect you from the attacks the best i can.” taeyang looks over to sungmin and tosses out a joke, giving a wink at the end of it. “cannot afford our prince to be under siege while out and about on his own after leaving his tower.” 

“well, i am not too sure as to what do i answer with as the question is rather vague. if it is about dreamdrop and the members, then there is nothing for me to say as whatever plans for their debut is still under wraps and in the process so any bit of information about their debut is deeply guarded and not to be shared. if you wish for me to speak about the relationships between the members, i will have to tell you that it is between the girls to establish however and whatever relations they want with each other so it is not my place to talk about them and how they get with the other members. if it is about the staff, there is not much to say as all of us are working very hard currently to ensure that the debut of dreamdrop will become a success. i appreciate every single thing my colleagues are doing and none of this would be possible without them. if it is about myself, there is not much to share, really. all i ever do these days is wake up, get to work, do work, finish work and then head home to sleep before the cycle repeats itself. occasionally, i would try to squeeze in some time to go cycling in the mornings or an hour in the gym. so no, there is not really much tea to be shared from me. sorry, maybe someone else would be better to ask?”

               it had felt like weeks of non-stop work, with a constant flow of requests being asked of him and having no option to decline, sung-min had easily created double-digit amount of tracks … and that’s only counting the pieces that he hadn’t scrapped, or put on hold for a while. it was common for him to do that, delay the completion of a piece ( if not to get rid of it entirely ) when it wasn’t going exactly to plan, because to dwell on it would only be wasting time – and, when working to a deadline, you can not be wasting time. taking a sip of the coffee that was before him, now cold in temperature after being left untouched for just a bit too long, sung-min made the decision to draw up the files for earlier tracks. hopefully now he’d be able to recognise their flaws and fix them to a usable piece.

              it’s to be noted that sung-min never had, nor has, any intention of ever complaining about his workload ( even if it had been proving to take a toll on him – physically and mentally ), because not only was it not in his nature to do so, but because to complain would get him nowhere – and he does enjoy his job, even with all the pressure that come with it, and the risk of completely running himself into the ground. 

              with another hour passing of listening to old work and no progress being made, sung-min made the decision to take a break – which is also known as running to grab a fresh coffee from the vending machine and returning within less than five minutes – so, he rose to feet with reluctance, with his bones aching following not moving for who knows how long, and headed out of the studio. sung-min had his path memorised, down to the quickest route to the coffee machine, and the exact buttons to press without even having to look, as to not waste time. but, distraction came in the form of a light shining from an office, and sung-min found it impossible to refuse to opportunity to check in on whichever manager was to be occupying – the fact he hadn’t socialised in days only fuelled matters – so, following a knock on the door, he walked in.

              “ just … ”  sung-min soon realised he hadn’t thought through what exactly he even wanted to talk with the other about, shyness instantly consuming his being, “ uh– just thought i’d see how you’re doing? ”

𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐒𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓 𝐎𝐅 𝐇𝐈𝐌  had been enough to have him feeling a bit greater, his day taking a turn for the better albeit a little into the day. “honestly it has been a rough day but on the bright side, the day is almost over and i can breathe a little after running around all day.” at times, taeyang missed having a day that kept him to his desk the entire day because of the monotony and having a routine to stick by. not having to worry about the unexpected, a safe and stable job that keeps him paid and not questioning if he will be receiving any pay for the upcoming month. however, he also knows that such a work-life is not for him, not feeling content and comfortable to be doing the same old things day in and day out with nothing to challenge him to think better and do better. while people dread about the stress and extra work, taeyang thrives off of it, even if he does frequently complain about the nature of his work in his mind. 

“that is enough about me. how about you? how has work been for you? did you stay on late in the studio last night?” sometimes, when taeyang thinks that he and eunji work very hard, he remembers about the producers and how they push themselves even more than anyone else in the morning to produce great results. he likes to think that is why he has a soft spot for them, gesturing for sungmin to take a seat at the table with him. “have you eaten? would you like anything else to go with the coffee?”

              having noticed the weather warnings ( luckily ) before departing from his apartment, prompted to check following the stream of excited posts on social media – the weather application having confirmed their comments – sung-min had made the extra effort to layer up. with a rather larger hoodie draped over his petite frame ( covering over his usual attire of a sweatshirt and jeans ), combined with a puffer-coat and a scarf, sung-min stepped out and prepared to brace the cold. it was no secret that he dealt poorly with cold weather, even in typically warm conditions his hands would still feel comparable to ice, and today wasn’t going to offer anything different. the moment the cold air glided over skin nose and cheeks became decorated with a rose hue, and fingertips began to stiffen. that’s not to say the the boy didn’t like snow, the whimsical nature of cascading snowflakes had always been visually pleasing and fuel for a childlike mind, but just that his body wasn’t physically equipped to dealing to such weather conditions.

             approaching the familiar face, sung-min offered a gentle smile in appreciation of their excitement, wishing that he could exude the same energy that they had. “ it is, ” sung-min confirmed, not that it took a genius to recognise the weather, “ no– but, it’s nice to admire it from inside… ” he spoke shyly, trying to conceal the sniffles from his nose. 

𝐇𝐄 𝐊𝐍𝐎𝐖𝐒 𝐇𝐄 𝐒𝐇𝐎𝐔𝐋𝐃  consider heading inside soon, his coat only being able to protect him from the cold for so long but he wants to admire the snow a little longer before he returns to his work for the rest of the night. the child in him wants to run out onto the streets to see how much of the city has become a winter wonderland, maybe find a few friends to play with him as they try to make some snowballs out of the lumps of snow on the ground. alas, the adult in him wins the battle for now as he exercises some restraint and instead, send the video forward to his family for them to enjoy as well. 

the number of layers he sees the younger wearing makes him chuckle a little, only because they were looking adorable even if their only intention was to keep warm. “are you heading somewhere?” it is not often that the producer was out of the studio, only able to count on one hand the times he has personally seen him be apart from his workstation so there was either something important or something he wanted to do. “if you aren’t and you have no plans, could i offer you to drink some hot chocolate with me? i think there is no better time to enjoy some hot chocolate along with some desserts to go with it. the only thing that would make it better would be having some company along with it.” 

he looks over his shoulder when he hears footsteps heading his away, giving them a small wave before gesturing over to the snow. “it’s snowing! well, it certainly had snowed before this but it is definitely heavier and greater than the last time! i am excited for spring to arrive but i do not think there is anything wrong about one more snowfall, right?”

               “ n-no, ” awkward laughter bubbled over lips, a palm scratching at the nape of a neck as he searched for protesting words – taeyang was not exactly wrong, what’s the worst sung-min could ever actually do? especially for a boy that’s scared of his own shadow. probably miss a deadline, because he fell asleep on his keyboard again and corrupted all his files … and that was pushing the extent of it ( it was highly unlikely that something like that would ever happen, especially because sung-min backs everything up ). “ you know – reckless things, that’s chaotic. ” right? arms folded across a chest, threat of a pout on tiers, sung-min was being read completely and he did not like it one bit … not that he would ever actually complain about it. but who knew he was so predictable? where had his enigmatic energy disappeared to? 

              an awkward, yet warm, smile was directed towards the other, “ t-thanks… ” sung-min really wasn’t one that was comfortable in accepting what could be interpreted as a compliment, or that was just a straight up compliment, shyness consuming his being with his reaction. turning his back to taeyang, so that focus could be directed to the computer for a moment – several clicks to bring back up the piece he was working on, and already there was a nauseating sensation in his stomach ( god, this really wasn’t his best work … if anything it was the furthest thing from – at least in his opinion ). “ ready? ” sung-min hummed as dark hues flickered to now reacquaint with the other. with a thumbs up offered, and headphones firmly placed on, sung-min twisted back and pressed play ; distancing himself from the glowing screen and turning away as to not focus on a reaction. disappointing himself was enough, never mind to disappoint someone else – especially when that person was a manager.

𝐇𝐄 𝐖𝐎𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐑𝐒 𝐈𝐅  he should mention that sunny was instead sounding and looking adorable in trying to convince him of having a rebellious spirit in him rather than chic and cool. taeyang decides against saying anything about it, playing along with it as he nodded while trying not to smile. taeyang is not one to promote recklessness and he was one who prefers to uphold law, order and peace but maybe, he would be okay with rules being broken a little bit if it meant he got to see a different side to the normally quiet and reserved boy. would he be laughing and smiling more than he does at work? would he able to witness excitement and enthusiasm radiating off him as he talked about what he loved or did things that made him feel alive? it is just little things like this that has taeyang curious and wondering if he would get the answers to them.

“ready.”  taeyang’s expression turned serious as the music played, deep in thought as he paid attention to how the melody played and how it transitioned to one part of the song to another. he thinks about how the members would sound on the song, the lyrics that would go along with it and which member fits which segment of the song best. if this would be a track strong enough to be a title track paired with the right concept or if it is better suited to be a hidden gem as a b-side to a single or an album. he was still analysing everything about the track even when music no longer played between the headphones, carefully picking the song apart and then building it together to form a new image. “i like it. i think it would be a good song to showcase each of the members’ strengths. there are an airiness and an almost dream-like quality to it that fits the image and the concept that the group is going for. i think the most interesting part is one would expect the song to be more of a ballad or a slower song given the qualities of the song but with it being a more upbeat tempo instead, there is this feeling of reassurance and hope to the song, if it makes any sense. am i making sense?”

               instead of protesting, knowing better than to continue a disagreement ( regardless of the level of severity – in this case it being very low ), sung-min offered an awkward smile in gratitude … a bow of his head accompanying the upturned tiers. not that he had been convinced, but sometimes it was easier to accept losses, rather than bickering over things that didn’t need to be dragged out – and sung-min didn’t like any form of confrontation. considering he only came to the company when producing tracks was nothing but a hobby, it was no surprise that he didn’t think highly of himself nor his work – he was in no way as experienced as he wished to be, and had never been educated on the correct and/or best way to do what he did. if anything, he was just … winging it and hoping for the best.

              shrugging, as conversation proceeded, sung-min held back light laughter – corners of lips only twitching instead – “could be for any reason. ” it was highly unlikely he was to ever do anything wrong to be dismissed from the company, other than slack on his work, considering he was and always had been the type to abide by rules … but that didn’t stop him from joking about the idea. “ could get up to some chaos … ” he had no plans to, nor would he ever, but the suggestion still hummed out, “ who knows? ” everyone knows, there’s no chance.

              “ yeah, sure, ” sung-min reassured, nodding as to emphasise his point, “ it’ll be nice to get a second opinion on it … before it’s deemed a lost cause. ” a heavy exhale threaded from lips, fingertips brushing through and ruffling his own hair – it’s usual state was typically messy, disturbed through the constant shifting with his headphones – and he handed headphones to the other. he was anxious to share unfinished work, especially when it was with taeyang, but he didn’t want for them to feel pressured to stay for what could be hours until it till it was refined – and barely at that.

𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐎𝐒, 𝐇𝐔𝐇? “and what would be your idea of chaos be? because if your idea of chaos is putting off work for a while to get some extra sleep in or to just not do anything at all, then i will say the both of us share the same idea on chaos.” especially in taeyang’s case, if he was to even step away from the kids for even an hour, he just knows that the dorm will go into a disarray, one of the members would go missing and eunji will be on the phone yelling for him to come back as soon as he can because the kids would rather listen to him.  

watching the other mess with his hair made taeyang wonder if his hair is as fluffy and soft as it looks to be. he is very aware that he is nowhere close to sunny yet to just reach out and have a feel of his hair without having the younger feeling weirded out. so it is with much restraint and disappointment that taeyang holds himself back from trying to touch sunny’s hair. “it will be an honour of mine if i can give you my opinion and it will help you in improving the song. though i have not heard it, i do not think it is going to be as much of a lost cause that you say it is. you could say that it is a gut instinct of mine and it is usually never wrong.” he does not think he will be wrong this time either, sending him a bright smile and a thumbs up to reassure him before placing on the headphones. 

every year, taeyang can be found wearing a bright red sweater with a basket hanging from his forearm, giving out his handmade candles along with roses to everyone. each time it is given out to someone, he never fails to remind them why he loves them and that his love for them extends beyond valentine. the smiles and the laughter he gets in return to his gifts is the reason why he keeps doing this every year. he is down to his final one as he hands it over to the receptionist, chuckling at how she still has a surprised expression despite all this time they have known each other.

every year, she never fails to ask the same question.

“do you have a valentine’s this year?”

every year, he replies the same.

“no valentine” 

except for this year, it is a little different, adding a little more at the end of the sentence under his breath.  

at least, if things go to plan, he will have one by the end of the night. 

               whilst shaking a head in protest, a nose scrunched alongside the motion – as if in emphasis, sung-min forced back amused laughter ; the thought that he was even close to being the best producer was ridiculous. there was no chance. “ now you’re speaking nonsense, ” words hummed, a softness gracing expression as to indicate there was no form of malice in his comment – sung-min was mediocre at best, at least in his own opinion. he was still surprised that he was ever offered the job at noir, forever filled with the sensation that he was unworthy of his position ( which didn’t help with the pressure of trying to provide the best for the group ), more so when he was working alongside someone who had so much talent than he did. “ and i know you’re just saying that, ” he shrugged, taking all remnants of meal from his lap and placing them upon a table – returning back to his seat at his work station – “ but, thank you. ”

               it was becoming more difficult to control the burning sensation that was dancing at the apples of cheeks, with compliments being directed towards him ; especially with the implication that he was actually a wanted member of the noir team, it was a rare occurrence for sung-min to ever feel like he was of any value. “ well … i don’t plan on going anywhere, ” he offered, a hint of reassurance in a tone ( reluctant to really be reassuring, considering he didn’t know if taeyang’s words were genuine and not just feeding into sung-min’s delusion ), “ at least not unless i get kicked out. ” there was a joking nature to his tone, albeit a little awkward, as he turned back attention to his work – it wasn’t going to finish itself, after all. “ oh, do– do you want to listen? ” sung-min reluctantly offered, holding out his headphones towards the other, awkward smile now claiming lips, “ it’s, uh, a work in progress. ”

𝐁𝐔𝐓 𝐇𝐄 𝐖𝐀𝐒 𝐁𝐄𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐇𝐎𝐍𝐄𝐒𝐓.  he has no reason to lie, especially when it comes to someone’s talent or skills. it makes him a little sad to see sunny respond to him the way, wondering for how long and how often has sunny been made to feel like he was inadequate despite excelling in his passion. “i am speaking the truth and anyone else would agree with me. i do not say things just to flatter, i say them to let someone know their hard work and efforts are seen and appreciated.” it might be a little hard to believe and to accept for anyone at the receiving end of his compliments but he will keep saying them for as long and as much as he needs to ensure that they know and understand it well and hopefully, start to think of themselves as highly as he does of them. 

“kicked out? i am not able to think of a reason why you would be kicked out- and do not say because the quality of your work is not up to standard because it is!” on the other hand, if it came to the dreamdrop kids, as much as he loves them, he could think of a few names and the possibilities of them getting into enough trouble to get kicked out by the company. sorry, kids. but that is why he was here at the company to make sure that doesn’t happen, right? at the offer of hearing a new track, he holds back his excitement because he wants to be sure that it is alright with the other to hear it first. “is that okay? if you are not satisfied with it yet or if you want to work on it a little more, that’s alright. i don’t mind waiting until it is how you want it.”

                    a soft shrug played at sung-min’s shoulders, warmth bleeding through the reassuring smile offered ( through eating, of course ), as he listened intently to the other … “ sometimes it takes trying your dream to realise that maybe it’s not suited for you, ”  there was a pause, as if he was trying to conjure more words – admittedly, this was probably the most he’d spoken over the last few days, considering he doesn’t engage in conversation often ( especially not willingly ) – “ or that you have a dream that’s greater than the first. ”  throughout his childhood sung-min held many dreams, all completely different, but had no expectations to ever achieve them. probably because he was certain that he was going to be stuck in the same situation, at least until he suffered the same fate as his sister had, so to even be in the career he was in felt like nothing short of a privilege – a dream, even – despite all the pressures that came with it.

                    the gentle laughter continued to bubble, brushing away thoughts that had entered his head, as he played along with the other – trying his best, at least. sung-min’s strengths didn’t necessarily fall in social interaction, especially when it came to cracking jokes and teasing … he had a habit of taking a lot of things literally, and then ruining the joke as a result. there was something about taeyang that had made sung-min feel at ease, however, and so he thought it would be best to at least try ( at least until he made a complete fool of himself, and would have to retreat back into offering minimal exchanges with the male ). “ definitely – and i’d be certainly be sending all my best songs your way, ” his smile radiated, the creases of eyes deepening with the motion, “ that’s if you hadn’t found a better producer. ”  not that it was hard.

                    the brightness that had claimed features faltered with the other making the distance between their bodies shorter, breath hitching in panic for a short moment. it wasn’t often that he let people close to him, at least not people he’d not developed a close relationship with, as he found it difficult to trust another’s hand … but taeyang made him feel at ease. and, though with a slight flinch, he allowed the other to brush away residue from features – offering a smile at the conclusion, trying to not draw attention to the addition of rose hue upon cheeks. “ o-oh, thanks, ”  sung-min’s voice had gone considerably quieter, shyness seeping with ever motion, and– wait– did taeyang just call him handsome?

𝐀 𝐁𝐄𝐓𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐃𝐔𝐂𝐄𝐑? “but you are the best producer there is.” and he is not saying that just to flatter. he means it completely. he had listened to both the works the producers have done back when the ceo had for his and eunji’s opinions about having them as the group’s producers, having spent the past few days sifting through the possible candidates. hiring them that day was the easiest decision they have made. taeyang has complete trust and faith in the producers, to say the least. “i cannot think of anyone better that would do well and justice to the group besides you and naomi. the kids would agree with me.” he was sure that the kids would go so far as protesting and putting up a fight if anything was to happen to either producer and honestly, he would join them too. 

“your songs are great and the kids enjoy working with you.” that says a lot when the kids hold a high and great opinion of someone. “so i am not going to be letting go of you anytime soon.” realising the implication of what he said, taeyang quickly rectified the statement, stumbling over his words a little because the last thing he wants is to make sunny comfortable when he has seen him opening up a little. “the company, i mean. we the company and the rest of the staff will not want to have such talent walking away from us. though certainly, if you feel like being here is not enough for you and you think you will be able to grow as an artist better elsewhere, you have every right to go when you wish and need to. it will be sad to see you go nonetheless, if and when you do.” especially if he was not able to get to know sunny better before then. deciding that he has dug enough of a hole for himself, he stops himself before he makes himself a big fool. “so what were you working on before i came in?”

folks, i am back at it again to present you with more things about the resident’s golden retriever. if you would like to have a read or a refresher of the first post i made, you can find it over here. time to take another trip into taeyang’s head. 

oh and before i forget, if you will like to add me on discord, it is moonchild#4265

birth name: oh taeyang

nicknames: sunshine, puppy

position: assistant manager of dreamdrop

specialities: playing the piano, taekwondo, d.i.y projects

birthday: 1st april

zodiac sign: aries

height: 1.78m

weight: 66kg

blood type: O

birthplace: ilsan, seoul

family: parents (divorced) and two sisters, the youngest in the family

education: apgujeong high school. film, television and multimedia at sungkyunkwan university

instagram: @suntae

nationality: korean

10 fast facts

besides his dream of becoming a director, there was a period of time where taeyang wanted to be a magician so he took lessons and taught himself magic tricks. he mainly learned how to do card tricks as it is the easiest to practice and to show

he prefers salty snacks over sweets and desserts unless they are more on the savoury side. the only times he eats desserts is during birthdays or when he is with his niece and nephew

while he does not believe in it or follows it closely, he finds it fascinating to read horoscopes and about astrological signs for the fun of it

the type of drunk where he goes completely silent and focuses deeply on whatever task or interest in front of him i.e stacking up empty glasses to form a pyramid, folding napkins into paper cranes 

his favourite animal is cats, wanting to raise one since he was a kid but was not able to due to his grandparents not allowing pets in the household. when he is able to find the time and has the opportunity, he hopes to adopt one

has a deep love for The Little Prince and Moomin. collects various editions of the books from either series along with collectables he can display in his home

his favourite actor is lee jung jae, having always been impressed by the cool but gentle charisma that the actor had ever since he started developing an interest in cinema

his favourite group was and is S.E.S and his favourite member is bada

he does not game much but when he does, he likes playing casual or point and click adventure games like animal crossing, stardew valley, oxenfree

the first time he experienced heartbreak was when he was younger, maybe as young as when he was seven years old. he did not register it as heartbreak at that time, only understanding back then that there was this heavy feeling in his chest and the deep urge to cry when he looks at his mother. even when she was smiling and gently running her fingers through his hair as he laid his head on her lap, he felt a profound sadness that he will only understand later as sadness for the life that his mother had to live and the life that she could have had. he has seen his mother broken down and her patience tested to the very limit, watched her trembling hands and heard the quiver in her voice as she stood herself up to his feather repeatedly, only to be pushed back down every time as a reminder that she should know her place in the family. that her opinions and her feelings means nothing while her very existence, is nothing more than a means to get somewhere

he has seen his mother so broken that when his mother told him and his siblings that she will be leaving the household, albeit without them, he felt no resentment towards her and he remembers clasping her hands in his own tiny hands as he urges his mother to live a happy life, far away from the pain of this house and his father. they all huddled together closely the night before she left, all of them crying but not out of sadness, but of relief that finally, one of them would get to be free and living the life they wanted