SunStonerPrincess

Percy Jackson, The Son of Poseidon 

As a submissive, you are not obligated to take part in every kink that your partner is interested in. Due to past trauma or other objectionable reasons, there may be activities that you don’t wish explore. The listing of these types of subjective and objectionable activities are referred to as your limits.

Limits need to be clearly communicated to any partner you engage in D/s activities with, whether it is someone you intend to be your dominant for years to come, or someone you meet at a party and want an evening of play with. Failure to clearly express your limits to a partner can result in anything between minor consent issues, up to and including lasting trauma. As a submissive, it is your responsibility to make sure every partner you play with knows what they are, and that they adhere to them.

If you are a Dom or top, it is your responsibility to make sure you are aware and mindful of your partner’s limitations before and during periods of play. If it has been a while since you discussed and reviewed your partner’s limits, it would be wise of you to check in from time to time, and make sure you have them all in mind, and are able to successfully navigate a scene around them.

It is the bottom’s/sub’s responsibility to communicate their limits to partner(s). It is a top/Dom’s responsibility to receive and know these limits. If both parties take their responsibility in this regard seriously, consent issues born out of ignorance should not occur.

Limits are not set in stone at the beginning of a relationship. They are a list of kinks you do not CURRENTLY wish to explore, and therefore will evolve and change as you evolve and have more experiences. A limit can be removed from your list and be explored anytime you come to find your attitude has changed about it. New limits can be added either on a temporary or permanent basis if you discover new or existing kink has become disturbing or triggering. Because of the fluid nature of a list of limits, I will reiterate that it is important you communicate changes of your limits to your partner(s), and that your partner should periodically check in to make sure you have an opportunity to express these changes in your limits.

Limits are not solely held by bottoms and/or subs. Tops and Doms have limits too, and it is likewise their responsibility to communicate them to their partner(s), and should be periodically revisited by their partner(s).

The purpose of limits are to create a roadmap of obstacles that your partner must navigate around during a scene. The purpose of limits is not to control your immediate environment every time something occurs that is out of your current comfort zone. An argument between you and a partner cannot become an instant limit when you decide it isn’t going well, or you’ve decided you’ve had enough. To do so erodes the seriousness of limits within D/s culture, at a time when simple human interaction and communication should suffice in resolving the situation.

Limits should always be accepted at face value, and a partner should never challenge or try and wear your resolve about them down in order to explore one of your limits. A Dom or top may not forbid you to have a certain limit, or a list of limits. Limits are a basic right in D/s culture.

EXCLUSIVE: Disney-owned ABC has put in development Epic, a romantic anthology series, from former Once Upon a Time writer Brigette Hales, series creators/executive producers/showrunners Eddy Kitsis & Adam Horowitz, their Kitsis & Horowitz Productions and ABC Signature Studios.

Epic is a romantic anthology series set in the fairytale universe of Disney. Taking place in a Disney-like Enchanted Forest, it will center on a whole new set of new heroes, villains, princes, princesses and all manner of magical beings. While it will pay homage to the classic signposts we’re all familiar with from the stories we grew up with, Epic will endeavor to create a whole new batch of characters as it explores love in all its forms. 

Penned by former Once Upon a Time writer Brigitte Hales, Epic is described by our sister site Deadline as “a romantic anthology series set in the fairytale universe of Disney… taking place in a Disney-like Enchanted Forest.”

But whereas OUAT took well-known Disney heroes and villains such as Snow White, the Evil Queen and Rumplestiltskin (wow, haven’t typed that name in a while!) and typically gave them a fun twist, TVLine hears that Epic presents “all-new characters” and “new spins on the classic archetypes,” and is not set in the OUAT universe.

🌹 Reviews: The Tyrant’s Tomb

Haikus as chapter titles are just fun. Since goodreads decided to throw my good faith of the site in the trash, tumblr can get all my book posts. Or booklr posts, if you will.

As a pagan, particularly one with an affinity towards Apollo and Artemis. Rick Riordan’s Trials of Apollo have a special place for me. The first book in the series used to be my favorite, I wasn’t really into book three. But book four? Book four is really something wonderful. The way it talks about pain, abuse, and life. The fact that these are intended for middle-grade kids and have such an honest talk about such things gives me hope. While this isn’t really anything new for the PJO series, it’s nice to still see these things in a series that has so many books and so much attention. And if you missed out on the very first PJO book, maybe you can embrace anarchy like I did and start with this spinoff series.

I saw several people, including myself, miss that book four was even out in the first place so be sure to pick it up while it’s easy to find sales!

Nobody:

AKA: NEVER CALL A SUBMISSIVE NEEDY AGAIN!!

There are days that I feel like we are slowly brainwashing all the submissives in the community to believe that they should feel guilty for the amount of attention they want from their Dominant. While nobody is swinging watches back and forth in front of their faces or giving them treats when they express that they feel badly for the attention they crave, it is getting done nonetheless with the word “needy”. 

need·yˈ

nēdē/

adjective

lacking the necessities of life; very poor.

Needy is not a nice word. Needy is a derogatory word. Needy should not be what someone WHO CHOOSES to give their power and choices to someone else, should be labeled. 

Vanilla couples don’t have the problem with this word that we do. In their partnerships, the individuals are expected to bear the weight of the work, responsibility, and decisions within the relationship with some semblance of equality in mind. If one partner gets lazy, and falters, they may be perceived to be not pulling their weight, which may eventually lead to problems, and ultimately, the end of a relationship. 

We don’t do things this way in the kinky world. Before their first dynamics, submissives often spends many months and years yearning to give up their power and decisions to a Dominant, and be made to feel cared for, and safe. When they finally find that first dynamic, they dive deep into their role, exploring it by probing their partner’s reactions, requesting structure and guidance, and demanding copious opportunities to serve, and fulfill their prime directives. They have been told communication is the key to a happy and productive dynamic, and they embrace that communication and attention with their Dominant with eager and open arms. 

That’s when it happens: someone calls them needy for the first time, making them feel bad for the way they have been wired, and for being enthusiastic about their partner and dynamic. It is at this point the idea of “lacking the necessities of life” and being thought of as “very poor” by their Dominant, starts to go to war against the natural order of a D/s dynamic, and begins to eat away at them. It makes them anxious about demanding attention from their Dominant. It makes them feel guilty for making requests of them. Being labeled as “needy”, throws them all out of balance, because needing someone strong, who helps them make all kinds of decisions that they have longed to be rid of, and gives them opportunity to serve, is what they have always wanted, and who they are supposed to be, and now they are being told that it’s too much. 

Why do we do this to our submissives? As Dominants, we want to be the boss, to have love and devotion within our relationships, and to feel needed, but when we get what we want, and it feels like too much, we shift the blame over to the submissive and call them needy. The truth is, when one member of a couple has given all their power and their decisions to the other member of the couple, THEY ARE GOING TO HAVE A LOT OF NEEDS FROM THEM. If you call yourself Dominant, or are aspiring to be one, you should be fully prepared to be intensely needed by your submissive, because they have voluntarily given you all of their power, and it is now YOUR ROLE to make a myriad of even the most basic decisions from them, from what they will eat for breakfast, to what they will wear to work. They will want tasks and rules and punishments, and it is now YOUR ROLE to give those to them. If you feel this is too much, it is not their problem that they are “needy”, it is yours for not understanding what you were getting yourself into. If you are not up for being needed by someone more than you have ever experienced before in your life, it’s time to make peace with your aspirations of being a Caregiver, Master, or Owner, and retreat back to vanilla world from whence you came. A full blown D/s relationship with fun bedroom playtime and having everything your way, comes at a price, and that price is giant piles your focus, and guidance. 

Is it fair to say your submissive has a lot of needs, or demands a lot of your attention? Sure! It’s a little like saying an elephant has a lot of weight, or an anaconda a lot of length. That’s the way those things are, and to dwell on it, or become resentful for things being what they are, is pointless and insane. If you are looking for an animal who is short, or light, look elsewhere. 

How can we stop this? We can start by correcting Dominants and our already brainwashed submissive community by lashing out at the word “needy” when we see it and hear it. We should lash out at the word because it expresses the natural inclinations of submissives in a profoundly negative way, and chips away at their natural evolution on their way to becoming happy and fulfilled in their dynamics. 

Submissives are never “needy”. They may need a lot, but that’s what you ordered from the menu, good Sir. If they don’t feel the need to call you bossy when you tell them what to do, you should surely be able to resist calling them needy for offering you their dependence. 

10 years of PatF in 10 days ≫ Day 6 | Soundtrack Appreciation

HAPPY 10 YEAR ANNIVERSARY TO THE PRINCESS AND THE FROG. 

Nine times out of ten, you are not responsible for your sub’s emotional state. Maybe the day has become challenging in a way that’s overwhelming for them. Maybe something has happened that has triggered emotional upheaval. Whatever it is about, if it isn’t about you and your relationship, you need to remind yourself that you cannot control your sub’s emotional state, and NOT put yourself in a similar state when attempting to help her. You need to let go of this idea that because she has given you control, you now should be able to magically snap your fingers and make her all good again when the shit hits the fan. You can’t change or control her emotional state like that, and to make yourself crazy about it is a help to neither you, or your sub.

What you can do, is implement strategies and methods that are likely to help her harness her chi and come back to herself. What you can do, is remain calm and communicative, to remind your sub that you are there, that they are not alone, and to let them see your strength and control. 

When your sub loses control of their emotions, you need to go the other way. Counterbalance their fear and sadness with your strength, their confusion with your focus, and their turbulent heart, with your focused mind.