written in gold, a permanent mark

C-ARC-4 Barangay 171

Starting up, I am Alnea Benedicto, an architecture student from University of Santo Tomas living in Bagumbong Dulo, North Caloocan. We have an activity regarding the current state of our Barangay as I got time to talk to our Barangay Disaster Risk Reduction Management and Council (BDRRMC) head.

Here’s a map view of our Barangay: 

On November 30, 2019, I got time to talk to Mr. Rexelle Ampig, BDRRMC head of Barangay 171 and part chief of Bagumbong Fire and Rescue. As I talk to him, it feels like he was just a friend making “kwentuhan” with me. It seems like he is very hard working to serve our barangay.

PRIORITY?

Of course, Bagumbong is the priority.

Barangay 171’s BDRRMC cannot stand without the help of these: Barangay personnel, Tanod, BFAD, PNP, Search and Rescue Department, and Reserve Army of the Philippines.

For communications: Federal and Tec Spire

There have been trimming of trees and clean up drive of the creeks around the place. Street sweepers are there to help out who cleans up near the church weekly.

Bagumbong has experienced calamities: floods and fires, but not that much compare to other places.

FLOODS

As the barangay gain people, a lot of subdivisions are built, but few places are easily flooded. After heavy rains, the flood easily goes down. There’s no serious problem regarding it.

FIRES

Also, Bagumbong is not prone to fires. There have been two reported fires in the area. 3 or 4 years ago in our place called “manggahan” which is a very crowded area. It was caused by a little kid who lit up a candle. An electric wire was near it then it sparked, leading to electrical fire.

The other one is beside the Flying V gas station, a commercial residential was on fire caused by a gas leak. The LPG (liquified petroleum gas) brought fire. The part of it was unplugged accidentally, making it lit up the light materials and those who are selling clothes near the rented area.

TRIVIA:

Bagumbong Fire and Rescue is a fire volunteer which means they can serve any places even outside the North Caloocan area.

Barangay 171 is UPDATED!

Social Media is the main source of information, including the radio used in the communication. Bagumbong is affiliated with the Federal and Tec spire. The two are affiliated with the National (PAGASA, MMDA, PHIVOLCS, and 911).

For example:  There’s an earthquake in Mindanao. Bagumbong already know it before it was broadcasted to news and other medium. First is PHIVOLCS. Next, FEDERAL and TEC SPIRE. Lastly, the fire chief offices will voice it out to everyone.

There are “callers” and “walk-in” reporting to the barangay. Barangay 171 has its own group chat.

Kuya Rexelle is one chat away! You can chat him if you have a concern or problem in your place.

Here is Rexelle Ampig’s facebook account:

  SAFEST places in Bagumbong:

The evacuation area is divided into four:  Evergreen, tierra nova, complex, saranay

Northcrest up to Bagumbong Dulo is not prone to earthquake because the area is flat and there are no high-rise buildings.

DANGEROUS place in Bagumbong:

There is a portion wherein there is a creek which is the last part of Bagumbong (boundary of Caloocan and Bulacan). According to kuya Rexelle, on their last trim, the tree was almost falling and its roots are almost uprooted. It is monitored because if ever there’s an earthquake that may occur, the houses near it might collapse because the place is not totally developed.

 PRACTICES: Earthquake Drill and Fire Drill

Our Barangay proudly maintains a simultaneous earthquake drill.

Through kuya Rexelle’s efforts and advices, Bagumbong high school and St. Anthony in Northville have provided the students with orange hard hat to be worn as a protection whenever there’s an earthquake. But still, the teachers and principals still don’t have hard hats.  

Problems ☹

To be honest, the barangay has NO ENOUGH MATERIALS for rescue.

Kuya Rexelle is really a savior because as a head of BDRRMC, he applied “reservice” as a remedy for the problem. The reserve army based in Bagumbong were hired and assigned as members of BDRRMC search and rescue department. He knows that they are one call away because they immediately respond if they are needed.

Rexelle Ampig said: “Kasi kung hihintayin pa natin si barangay medyo mahihirapan kasi kulang sa gamit… tulungan lang kami.”  

WATER INTERRUPTION HAS BEEN ALSO CUSTODY TO BDRRMC.

Why?

Bagumbong is always part of the water interruption. There’s no water supply starting from 7 pm to 5 am every day. The barangay 171 can get water from its neighboring city like Quezon city. Water is a need for for firetrucks, so they will not immediately supply water to other places if the barangay is currently having a shortage in water.

Our country is prone to a lot of disasters like earthquake, floods, and fires. These caused calamities. Not all places are safe enough. Like our barangay, it seems like our local government needs to provide sufficient materials for rescue. Our barangay lacks it and needs the attention the government. Schools, workplaces, and houses should be ready for the unexpected calamities.

As an architecture student, I feel so sad to see that our BDRRMC office is not in good condition. I am hoping that I can help them sooner for a better place to work. The government does not give much attention to BDRRMC. Our schools, houses, and workplaces needs to be prepared and must have gears for the unexpected disasters.

Safety is what people need. The country is dependent to these people, so I am hoping that through the advocacies and volunteers, the superheroes who save us will get what they deserve. Without them, nothing will be in remedy. We need to help them. Through communication in social media, we can give them the help that they need.

BDRRMC HAS A HUGE CONTRIBUTION IN OUR COUNTRY! Don’t belittle them. They are our savior. Please be considerate to them and volunteer if you can.

Introduction

           Philippines is a country rich in culture and natural resources. Despite of the encouraging wealth, the locals are not knowledgeable enough about the increasing amount of its deficiencies. After all the wars and frauds, people are still blinded by the bragging lifestyle of the elites. Filipinos are not doing anything at all, even though the poverty is gradually increasing. The essay, “Why are Filipinos So Poor” was written by F. Sionil José. It was purposely written for the better understanding on how Philippines encounters the current social issue, degrading the image and ethics of its people. The problem of the country itself is its people. They were colonized by the distinctive thinking of other countries, evading the internal reality. The essay satisfies the reader’s comprehension in facing some of the occurrences that is currently happening in the country. It was able to tell the historical and economical values that people should be thinking of. Above all, the essay has audacity to show the possible way to cope up with the inevitable problem of the country, which is the deescalating economy.  

Summary

           Asian countries like: South Korea, Malaysia, Taiwan, and Malaysia are known from having a huge impact in the economy. However, Philippines was left out due to its poverty. As the past colonizers went to influence the country, the development of the country decreases, because of the damaged culture that its people allowed to happen. Philippines is protecting its deficiencies, allowing few people with power to eradicate the inconsistencies of the government in providing the needs of the rural people. The population is continuously increasing, making it harder to resolve the societal problem. Education and revolution can overcome it, but merely. The real essence of defeat is through changing the way of thinking. Filipinos should not be afraid of its identity. Everyone should have to courage to aim a better charism in enhancing the atrocious background of the country. Just like the past, its people can defend itself from the colonizers. It can be applied for today, without any hesitation. Philippines has great people, ethnic tradition, and artistic environment, so there is a possibility that Filipinos to rise from the repulsive economy.

 Critical Evaluation

           The Philippines was first introduced as a country with a greater range of poverty, as it was compared to other fellow Asian countries. The motifs introduced are objectively proposing the present deficiencies that the country is possessing. Economy is a huge matter when it comes to providing the physiological needs of the country.  The essay was made to enlighten the people from the wrong doings of the past. The author has shown how class distinctions affect the eroding development of the country because it became part of the culture. To put it simply, it effectively overviewed the past occurrences that has a great portion in supporting: Why do Filipinos became poor?

           The country lost the secured system due to the influence of western culture, where in there is an equal and even-handedness in providing the social needs of the people. It was pointed out that Philippines is inconsiderate in selling cheap and quality products to its people. The people are not even trying to do something essential for it. The proofs were clear, providing the people who made it clear that there is a huge superiority from the powerful people like Ferdinand Marcos. At the same time, positive things were provided, showing off the richness of the country when it comes to the enriched ethnic tradition and creativity of its people. The organization of events is fluently flowing, showing the cause, effect and solution to the predicament. The essay is maintaining a tolerable balance when it comes to providing enough information about the emerging economy of Philippines.

           The essay is an effective eye-opener to the readers because it is directly showing the message, through stating legitimate examples like: previous colonization, former presidents, revolutions, wars, and government inconsistencies. It has a good unity of sentences, but few terms were not easy to understand because of its technicality. The main points were significantly explained through stating past events. Each paragraph was stated in an implied but understandable manner. The arrangement of the information can be logically read. It is an evidence that Filipinos were influenced by the culture of other countries, making the given details to be connected to each other. To conclude, there is an adequate amount of stated details, supporting the current situation of the Philippine’s economy.

Conclusion

           The essay is an essential work of being informative about a certain issue. The issue was all about the capability of the Filipinos to resolve the occurring economical downgrade of the country. It is shown that government is a huge factor that affects the poverty of its people because instead of using the money for the country, they tend to buy luxurious materials for themselves. Some use violence as a way of discipline but to point out in an opposing way, some presidents prove that there is a better way to make the country free from controversy. It is concluded that Filipinos are capable of rising up, but its people are not confident enough, making itself as an enemy. This evaluation was created through grasping the main points of each paragraph and as the reader combined the main points, the general examples are condensed in a clearer way. The essay was motivating, but as a reader there are few things needed for the improvement. It is suggested to use more understandable words because each reader has different level of vocabulary. It is necessary for them to get a brief description of terms which are not familiar. The composition of the paragraphs should be more fluent, through showing on what, how and why is it the point. To sum it up, the information presented are objectively reasonable, even though there are some technical words.

PCOS AWARENESS.

jan 2019

What does PCOS stand for?

It is Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS). According to the 2015 statistics, 15% of women in the population have this syndrome. There is no cure yet.

Why am I discussing it? Because I was diagnosed with PCOS at the age of 18.

It was too early for me and I feel frustrated because at the early age, I should monitor my health. This can lead me to diabetes because having this syndrome makes you an insulin resistant.

What are the symptoms?

I am really worried because I wasn’t having my period for almost 3 months, 80 days precisely. I just immediately called my mother after that. The next day, we went for a check up. The ob-gyne give me the list of medicine that I should take like vitamins and anti-anemia tablet. It was recommended for me to have a transrectal ultrasound for further examination of my condition. I was told that it is not normal for and 18 year old to have this kind of period and it should be monitored. I was curious about it because the normal ultrasound is the usual thing that is placing gel on the belly part. Transrectal ultrasound is needed for a clearer view of my reproductive system. The device will be inserted inside the rectum. Yes, it hurts but I have to do it for my health. I am nervous and even the ob-sonologist asked me if i’m alright. It lasted for 3 minutes. After 5 minutes of waiting, the result was given to me.

Having this experience made me realize that it is important for girls to take care of themselves. We need to make sure that we have a healthy reproductive system, so that we are able to gave birth to our future child when we get older. PCOS may lead to cyst, infertility or cancer. We have to annually visit our ob-gyne for us to monitor our current health condition.

THE HARDEST PART..

I need to let go of eating fast food, sweets, and those who are high in carbohydrates like white rice which I always love to eat. I also have stress ulcer, but in contrast I have to limit the food I eat because I easily get hungry from time to time. I don’t know on how can I manage it. I am not used to eating only vegetables for a day. I always crave sugary foods. I have to make sure that I have time for sleep. I have school so I needed to make time for it. I usually wake up early in the morning to do the homework, making me sleep less than 8 hours. Lastly, I am easily pressured whenever there is a bunch of task infront of me. I should lessen and learn to control it. All of these are the cause on why I have hormonal imbalance due to my unhealthy lifestyle.

I should have learned to take care of myself before.

Please, to those who are reading this, take care of yourself! You’ll regret it!

✧ ✧ ✧ ILOCOS NORTE ✧ ILOCOS SUR ✧ ✧ ✧

I thought 2018 will be one of the best year of my life, but it wasn’t. It was full of failures. There’s a lot of pressure from my family and friends. 2018 became a year of frustration because maturity is giving me a hint of reality.

But 2018 taught me a lot.

Self acceptance is the key to stop all the doubts. Show kindness in all forms. Don’t be hesitant when working on something you’re firm with. Believe with all your capabilities. The scars you are wearing symbolizes the challenges you have conquered this year. It served as a proof that you have succeeded these things.

18 and still learning

As I grow up, a lot of things made me stick onto who I really am. Don’t you ever please someone to go back from who they are in the past. We should allow ourselves to learn in every mistakes. Why not give them a chance? We change, not for the soul purpose of being selfish, but for purpose of understanding the reality. In life, we have those people who’ll make us feel bad. They will try to put you down because they know you are mature enough to handle things. They will never believe and trust you because they always try to make prejudgements on how bad you are. As they criticize you, their anger will make you weak and less special. Those people are not willing to listen, so if you meet someone like that, be patient. Stay quiet and just do your best. Surround yourself with good people. Always show kindness and humility. I make mistakes, but in every wrong doings, I make effort to cope up with it. I maybe stressed and burned out, but I should be proud of it because I am able to conquer it even it is hard. I am very thankful for having a good epitome of kindness, which is my parents, because they disciplined me well. I am now eighteen and I will make effort to prove that I deserve to have these capabilities.

I know you are not okay. From all the sadness inside, I keep on pretending that I am happy. We are both on the same state but different in situation. Let me tell you something. I am just a simple girl aiming to understand things in this world. Yes, I regret embarrassing things that happened in my life. I do stupid things same as you. What is the best way to release all the frustrations? For me, I am best in expressing things when I am lonely.

As I grow, I just realized that only few people will be there in my life. We have to accept that we are bad in someone’s story; so treasure every moment, everytime you meet someone for the first time. I fully accept it even it hurts. We cannot hinder change. Sometimes it looks atrocious but we have to see the reality. Don’t ever blame someone for doing such act. The best way to do is having a personal communication. If you are not happy with some people, leave. Don’t make fool of yourself. If you feel like a prison, make a move. Be brave. Make sure you are living your life to the fullest. At the end of the day, it is your choice. Stay humble and trust yourself. Be strong, I know you can handle it.

May I present you, the most special person in my life.

I am really proud of having you. I can’t believe that you are already a teenager but still, you made me feel special. I am lucky to have a shoulder to cry whenever I feel sad. You are always here beside me, providing all the happiness you can give through simple deeds. I really don’t know what to do when I am not with you. At the moment, I am missing you so bad. I missed hugging you whenever I sleep. I can’t sleep on time and I am trying to adjust with the new environment. You are a very optimistic person. You are very unique and I really love your weirdness. Yes, I am 100% proud that we have our own way of enjoying life and it’s through our weirdness. You influenced me when it comes to food. I will never forget our favorite foods like Slammin Burgers, Domino’s, Mcdo’s fries, Jollibee, and last but not the least, Ministop! Merienda is our best bonding time. You are the reason why I gained weight and it’s a good thing! Food is life and whenever I eat food, I remember you. You always share food and buy me food even though I am not asking for it. I am proud to say that I have a brother like you. I don’t need a man other than my little brother and my papa. They made me realize that there is a special place to smile. Thank you so much for appreciating the love I am giving as your loving sister. I will always make sure that you are free from sadness because you are the reason why I am here standing strong infront of the things that brought me down when I was depressed. I love you and thank you.

As a teenager, turning 18 is really hard. At first, I was too excited growing old and as I grow, I really want to go back to the less problematic life. Childhood is the most memorable and unforgettable part of growing. You’ve got to spend more of the time by just playing around with or without your friends. I am contented on what I have. I think, everything I have at the moment is too much. There are times that I’ve got possesive in buying stuffs for myself. I feel so guilty of being selfish. I wasn’t thinking about the efforts of my parents. I should pursue myself on being mature because I must be prepared for adulthood. I should spend my time and money wisely without thinking all the negativities around me. I am sad because everyone is getting older. I want to go back to the old me where I see my parents healthy, happy and not stressing about paying bills. I am capable of everything so I should work hard in return for the hardships that my parents spent starting from the day I was born. Being a teenager is a stage for decision. One must decide peacefully for the betterment of the future. Be careful of what you are wishing for because everything we aim has an equivalent consequence.

turning 18 this year, 2018.

By Nea Benedicto

February 18, 2018

We spent 2 days and 1 night. The main purpose of this trip is for our performance task in Media, Information and Literacy, which is all about advertisement through having a travel video, endorsing the beauty of a certain place. We chose the nearest place near Manila for the safety and less money to spend. 

Meeting place: Central Station, Manila City

Call time: 4:30 am 6:00 am (Filipino Time)

From Manila to Pampanga: 30-40 minutes (no traffic)

Budget per head: 2,500 php

First stop: Mabalacat, Clark Airbase

We first went to Clark, Pampanga called “The Class City”. We went to the famous Clark Airbase then went to the Clark Museum but it was closed that day, we just shoot in the free area.

2nd stop: Aling Lucing (Angeles, Pampanga)

After long hours we spent in Mabalacat area, we felt hungry. Presenting Aling Lucing’s, the most famous sisig in Pampanga which ranked number 1. We’re lucky because there’s less people eating there that day. We ordered sisig (150 php), isaw (20 php), and extra rice. After eating, we went to the place that we will be staying at night.

3rd stop:  Allan Bognot's Pinatubo Guesthouse (Capas, Tarlac)

We are not expecting to stay there because the guesthouse is located in Tarlac, very far from the planned place. It is the only cheapest and comfortable place to stay. I could personally say that it was worth the money. The place is cozy and fresh from the pollution. It seems like a remote area because there’s no signal and wifi. We payed 3,000 php for one room with 1 king bed and double deck bed and another room on the second floor looking like a tree house. Every room has an air condition and we’ve got free breakfast in the morning. There are sari-sari stores near there to buy some necessities so no more worries. Before going to bed, we planned to go to a church and pray. That’s all for day one.

February 19, 2018

After waking up, we ate our free breakfast then fix ourselves for the first stop we are going that day. On the way, we planned to stop over a Jollibee branch to eat lunch. 

4th stop: Angeles City

The place is very clean and nice. Everything is walking distance. We can find there some of the famous landmarks. The church in the background is one of it. The place looks like the modern version of old Vigan. Beside it, is the Holy Angel University, where Center for Kapampangan Studies is found. Crossing the pedestrian lane, for only any amount of money as a donation, you could enter the Museum of Angeles. 

5th stop: Razon’s (San Fernando City)

We tried the local halo-halo for our merienda for a quick stop over. It was surprising that one big cup of it costs only 85 php compare to the local stores in Manila which costs 115 a cup. The kapampangan halo-halo is still the best.

6th stop: San Fernando railway station 

Yes, this is the infamous station where Death March ended. Honestly, the place is aesthetically pleasing. It is full of paintings, sculptures and images representing the landmark. We were given mini passports for free. I can say that was underappreciated. Most people are going to places not to appreciate it rather to take pictures.

Last stop: Sky Ranch Pampanga 

We should end our trip with a blast! Last but not the least, Sky Ranch! Yes, we took some of the rides like Vikings and Roller Coaster then ate dinner at the mall near the place. Yup, we end up sleeping in the car on the way home. 

To sum it up, I can say that it was a blissful moment with my classmates. It was my very first time to go out of town without my parents. I am very lucky to have this experience and I would like to thank my professor for letting us enjoy the course we are taking that time. As a conclusion, we should never stress out ourselves with any academic requirements because there are many certain ways to hinder the pressure within ourselves.

“If we are honest with ourselves, we have to admit that sometimes our assumptions and preconceived notions are wrong, and therefore, our interpretation of events is incorrect. This causes us to overreact, to take things personally, or to judge people unfairly.”

- Elizabeth Thornton

This is my personal blog. This blog is based on my past and current experiences. This is my virtual friend and a special place to share “my” side. This is a place where I can freely express my inner self. I am not perfect and I admit it. For a person to judge the essays I have made, it hurts my feelings. Why? It is too personal and the pieces here are fully inspired from what I have realized.

I have experienced a lot of things as I have studied in Manila. As a first timer there, I have compared the environment between studying from the past school to the present. The atmosphere is very different. There such challenges that provoke me to understand the reality on how people lived there spending there time and money on nonsense things. Engaging with people coming from different places and adjusting from the place is very hard. You could encounter things which you would not expect. I create essays based on what I see. I am not blind, I am just saying the things I have observed. Each of us has our own story and not all of it can be broadcasted just to prove the truth. Not all of things should be in public and some things must be taken personally. Every single word or phrase here has a meaning. This is not just a word because it could explain something. We all have the freedom of expression so why not use it? I have made this blog for me to release the things I am not capable of saying infront of people. I am willing to learn but having the intention to criticize my piece publicly is wrong for me. Talk to me and I am willing to listen, honestly.

The essays I have made are the things that I have learned from the past days, years or months. We all have our personal interpretation of things. If you have seen something wrong, correct the person. It would be a great help. Some essays and poems here are made for a reason. Sometimes the writer is going through something and through this blog, every heavy feeling are released. I have gone through so much things. Most are depressing and some are kinda happy. Every story has a missing puzzle piece. Everything you have encountered in life has a certain meaning. Before judging every piece I have made in this blog, remember that everything I have written here are base on what literally happens in my life. If you want to be heard, listen first. Understand things clearly before underestimating someone. If someone has a problem don’t make it worse rather let it be heard. Respect each other’s opinions because no matter what, we have our own way of understanding things. As of now, I am glad to say that everything I have written here are special. Some of the pieces are posted publicly but most of it are in private. Thank you for reading this.

p.s. sorry for the grammatical errors

Love wants us,

Love never hide to us,

Love is never scared of us.

Love is real,

Love gives life,

Love wants to connect with us.

Love is everywhere,

God loves us,

Love is one of a kind.

By Adrian Benedicto

‘Pizza Love’

3. 13. 17

•• this poem was made by my best friend that will always cherish. i will always love her. ••

You are the pineapple in my pizza, For you bring out the strongest flavors in me, We cover up each other at time, Protective as Pizza Hut.

Remember when you wake up, think about a new day. A day that you will never forget, a day that could make you happy and strong. If you’re sick, just be patient with it. Go for a check up and follow what the doctor has prescribed for you. Drink and eat healthy foods. Have a full body rest. The most important thing to do is to pray. Confess your sins and thank God for the life he has given to you. He is the only one who can heal you not only mentally but also physically through your faith.

Remember that having a best friend is special. They always make you laugh, cry, and smile. It is like have a virtual treasure chest on your side. Don’t hurt them! Give them the love they really deserve because when you loose your best friend, your life will be incomplete. You are lucky of having a wonderful life with a friend to share awesome stories. 

Remember that your family gives you strength. They have given you a unique life. You are living in this world because of your mother and father. Respect them and don’t ever hurt their feelings. They scold us because they wanted us (teenagers) to learn things out and to be in a proper place, not in a miserable life.

Remember that we should take care of life because it is sacred. God gives importance to life so let us give importance to it as an exchange. Jesus is always here with us. He came here because he wanted us to accept him and know about his deeds. Jesus manifested himself for us so be thankful.

Wika, Esensyang May Baluktutin

Umiikot man ang mundo, Wika ay narito’t buo, Katibayang sinasalita’t binabato, Kariktang kagamitan, ngunit papaano.

Quezon, sa ating pandinig, Ambag na di patitindig, Kalayaan, kasarinlan na iniibig, Kahalagahan patuloy na naririnig.

Presidenteng may bentaha, Langhap nga ba pangunawa? Pansinin man ang kasaysayang mayroong diwa, Ayusin naman sana, kagamitan ng wika.

Dakila na kung dakila, Mamulat at ipakita, Walang katiwalagan na mayroong bisa, Patuloy matapilok, ngunit may pag-asa.

‘Literary Colloquium’

February 14, 2018

You could actually see that the day we presented our literary is exactly in Valentines day. First of all, I just can’t believe it that we are chosen to be part of english month. We ended it successfully not only that we were the last one to present but also we have proven that we can present something we were not expecting. 

Before having a successful paper, we had so much challenges. As the one, who almost done the whole paper, I really felt the stress and pressure because at first, my groupmates were too lazy to push through the literature we have chosen. I am just being honest and at the end I’m the one who pushes and did 80% of the first draft and suddenly we failed. Our professor suggested that we should change our literature because it’s author is not that familiar to people and we weren’t able to find the author’s bibliography. Before that, we planned to have a sleepover to make the first draft for one night (the day before the deadline). At first we started working, then each started to feel lazy and chill that rather than doing their work, they just ly on bed and some started to raise topics that were not helpful to the work. It ended up that I am the only one awake and the one who finishes the work. Unfortunately, I wasn’t able to finish the chapter three which is all about literary approach because I don’t know how to formulate it at first even though I have a copy of a biographical criticism. I don’t really understand it. 

Going back to the comments of our professor, she said that our paper cannot be checked and criticized at the moment because there’s no literary approach (the most important part of the paper). I feel disappointed to myself at that moment and I am crying deep inside. She gave us time to change our literature then she suggested ‘Si Anto’ by Rogelio Ordoñez. She told me to work on the approach. I should connect it one of the theory we discussed which is Marxism. I should connect the story to the theory and every theorist there. She suggested me to watch videos from youtube for us to easily understand the theory. Here we go and we go up in the library and planned to search theories of Karl Marx but ended up nothing. As we go home, we started reading the story. I can say that this is one of the best and suspicious story I’ve read. I’ll leave it there. We’ve discussed on how to divide the work. 

The next day, our professor needs a draft and we weren’t not able to present it because we just first read the story. One of the group in our class is nearly done and have done almost 21 pages. I feel real pressure at that moment and I feel like my professor is was disappointed to our work because she expected a lot from us. It is very stressful that time because that day is also the deadline in the making of Chapter 2 for our Pananaliksik (I really worked hard in this subject and I want to finish it neatly. I’m so happy because our professor liked the chapter 2 because it is well made). I promised myself to the work at night. I am pushing myself to do the work even at least I do my work not minding my groupmates. I don’t know what happened to me because I just finished my work and didn’t even slept. I watched videos relating to Marxism and other contents there. I also read pdfs about it. As I remember, I drunk 2 cups of coffee just to make my self awake. I wasn’t able to print my work the next day because my printer don’t have an ink. 

The next day, at first, I was too scared because my prof doesn’t want to check drafts in a soft copy. Okay this is the time.. I approached her even she’s busy working with my other classmates who’ll be presenting something. I reminded myself “MIND OVER MATTER”. I asked her if she was able to check even it is softcopy and I feel so happy when she checked it. She said it is her very first time to check a soft copy and she really liked the literary approach I made. She said that it is the only Marxist criticism she liked at the moment. I’m so happy because I really worked hard on it. She suggested the other things she wanted me to add in the approach. After that day, I did my job again and then we did the whole work with a conceptual work. And yes! We’ve got the grades we really deserve! I’m so so happy! She said that only two literary criticism is very outstanding and one is ours! I’m so thankful to the trust I have given to myself. I cried twice doing this work and guess what? I did it! She let us present in an informal manner as part of Performance Task. She really loved our presentation. 

After that.. Time passes by and we were shocked because our professor chose our work for the Literary Colloquium and we were so scared because we don’t know what to do there. We really want to give up the position we have and kept asking our professor to let other groups present not us. She doesn’t want us to leave the paper without presenting it. Yes, we are nearly dying from the pressure she’s giving to us. She almost texts us with long messages everyday. She really pressured us to the point that we want to give up because we were threatened from her bragging the work of the other section. I hate it first but then I realize that she was just tricking us and challenging us to work better. She wanted us to strive at our best. We practiced in one room the 2 days before the presentation. We had another professor inside the room to check and criticize on how we present our piece. At first, he felt that we were not ready so he said that we need to make sure that we really like what we are doing because our faces look like zombies (dying inside and out). He suggested the things he wanted us to give clear representation in the literary approach mostly. We end the day with full frustration because we did not make it. Going back home, I feel kinda tired so I slept for almost 3 hours. I went back to work and studied the things I want to prove in our paper. I practiced again and again until I fully understand the theories. 

The next day is the day before the Literary Colloquium. We went back to the room and we presented our work with a powerpoint which was made unplanned. We were really shocked that the powerpoint we made is very professional and he really liked the way we minimize the words we are putting there. Yes, I am so happy and confident that day because I know our work is very clear. I am so overwhelmed because he said that I am very “poetic” and there’s nothing to criticize me. He said I did it in an excellent manner and I am very confident. I always think of “mind over matter” for me to conquer the fear inside of me. Then here goes the day of the presentation… we were a little bit nervous because we don’t know of we will present first or last. We remained calm when our prof said we were last so we have time to check the mistakes of the groups before us and let those mistakes be a learning thing for us. As I presented my part, I really don’t know what happened. Everything just became a second and I didn’t realize that I have said a lot from our criticism. And I kind like that because it is a proof that I really know and understand the theory.

 I am very happy because it is the greatest valentines gift I ever worked hard and received. I really appreciate my professor for pushing us up to the final presentation because she know our capabilities and she wanted to improve it. I know there are times I hated her but it make me realize that it is her way to discipline us to work hard on something that could make us achieve something we did not expect. This Literary Colloquium serves as a way for me to understand the real society. I do appreciate how the theories were made because they were on purpose. It enlightened me that people were to fond of money as if they were opposing to what they are containing. I am very proud to say that I really deserve to be part of this event because it is once in a lifetime to be chosen out of many students there. I really worked hard on it and I appreciate those people who help me to cope up with stress and anxiety. That’s all.