Told him I like being called Harmonie because it feels personal and more me and he says he wants to call me.le now so whatever guess that's my only name again
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hii, im very mentally unwell, so this was originally going to be a vent blog, but i thought, 'why not make it pretty', so im trying to do exactly that. ive not much to speak to regarding my issues, as theyre much more controversial than what you'd really see. not a perfect victim, not always a victim, but not always a perpetrator at fault, if you catch my drift.. i thought it'd be better than throwing things, so I'll write things down here.
My name? I have many nicknames. ive been called Harmonie, Sunshine, Kitty, and Le. you could honestly call me whatever you'd like..
My pronouns? She/her is fine.
Other important details? For some starters, I'm mixed race of many different things, but mostly hispanic. I'm an INTP, and I like to characterize myself as a deer sometimes. My favorite color is pink and I have a boyfriend named Kevin.
My mental conditions? I have BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder) and Bipolar Disorder, Depression, Schizophrenia, Anxiety, Histrionic Personality Disorder, and a pathological lying issue. I am also hypersexual, I maladaptive daydream, and have PTSD. Maybe others I may have forgot, but these are the main things that conflict with my life.
My physical conditions? I have a heart disease, PICA, Anemia, Tuberculosis, A lung condition, and bone problems. I am legally blind and have cataracts, as well as partially deaf. I suffered brain injuries and brain damage when I was younger and it has affected me daily. I'm currently pregnant due to rape. Most of these conditions are due to the fact that I was born 'unfinished', 'small', or premature and damaged due to my mother doing drugs and being unsafe while I was in womb. I am very mentally slow at times and can regress ages due to this. I am not good at spelling, memory, or critical thinking from time to time. I'm in diagnosed psychosis.
Another thing? This is for me, not because of anyone else..maybe you can relate, maybe not, find comfort in what you will.
Some things? My boyfriend Kevin is not an abuser nor victim in our relationship. He has chosen to live this way with me, Ivr chosen. He says and does things that seem disgusting to people who don't relate. I love him, and it is my choice to love him. In my eyes, id rather be with him, someone who understands me and spends time with me, and let him hurt me, than something else. It is my place to speak about him and not yours to tell me what to do with him. This also goes for any people I mention unless I explicitly say or ask what to do.
Warnings.
Please make yourself aware of the severity of my mental conditions before you ever judge me.. and just know there will be quite an array of disgusting and abnormal thoughts here i cant control. Don't assume I'm horrible just because I can't control my intrusive thoughts. But, that aside, I am not a good person. I know I'm not a good person, I never will be. Do not expect anything from me. My brain is sometimes full of different people due to my BPD and or Plurality. I may make a post about my Plurality and the names, they all depend on emotions. Sometimes im a different person. You never know.
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