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SFW

- Matthew has insomnia so he’s often up til early morning playing COD or doomscrolling through posts that tagged him…you’ll be asleep in the bed behind his gaming chair and he keeps turning his head to check on you

- smiles when he sees you cuddled up in his bed

- when he gets sleepy, makes sure to crawl into bed softly and curl up behind you to not wake you up

- ends up scooping you up in his arms, your chest to his back and legs thrown around yours

- matthew likes to spoil his baby girl. he has plenty of money…dinner is always on him. random gifts placed on your desk. those new earrings you wanted? they’re yours the next day

- so insanely protective of you. tries to find solutions to any problem you’re having. if you’re having a bad day, he is too. and he doesn’t like when both of you are upset, so he’s hunting down the source to your problems.

- enjoys spending time inside with you more than partying. but if he is invited to a party, he’s bringing you along to show you off

- “look how pretty my angel looks”

- keeps an arm around your waist all the time, especially if he notices lingering looks on your form

- is in love with all parts of your body. when you two cuddle, he’ll just trace your figure with his hands and kiss every part of you. if you’re feeling insecure about a specific part of your body, he’ll make sure to take extra time showing love to that one insecurity.

- his goal is to make you laugh all the time. he adores how you look when you’re smiling and your eyes are crescents. your face glows with happiness and BM made it his goal to always be the one to bring you happiness.

- doesn’t cook much, but learns how to make your favorite meals so he can see your eyes light up even more

- never lets you go hungry. you haven’t eaten yet? he’s pestering you until you eat…or he’s buying out stores with all your favorites.

- he’s convinced he’s a bad singer but you always tell him that he has such a soothing and beautiful voice. he really appreciates your praise and kisses you with so much love.

- likes kissing you until your lips are numb. his favorite kisses are when you’re on his lap and your arms are around his shoulders. he enjoys pulling you as close as possible and kissing you like he hasn’t seen you in days.

NSFW

- matthew is surprisingly not that freaky…he really enjoys vanilla sex; mostly because he can make you feel good no matter what

- they don’t call him Big matthew for nothing. He’s packing plenty. in fact, it takes all his fingers to prepare you…he makes sure you’re dripping wet and needy before he enters

- is an ass man. 100% if you walk around him in tight pants or shorts, he’s gonna be on you in 10 seconds.

- hands grip any curve you have. stomach, hips, waist, breasts… Matthew loves your curves and will suck dark marks onto all your love handles.

- he enjoys being told what to do, but it doesn’t mean he’ll do it. he loves teasing you. dominant for sure but can still enjoy a little switch fight. if you wanna ride him, he has no problems with that. he might still thrust into you if you start slowing down….

- when he’s producing, he loves when you cockwarm him. he swears he works better if you sit on his lap with his cock nestled in your folds

- call him daddy and he’ll fold. yes, he is your daddy. he’s big, caring, and possessive, and he’ll take care of you in anyway. he’s your daddy.

- enjoys eating you out more than getting sucked off…there’s something about the sounds you make and the writhing that makes him feel so much pleasure

- his favorite position is doggy for sure. He likes threading his fingers through your scalp and tugging, making you clench around him. His other hand is gripping your hip while he fucks into you

- enjoys the size difference in between you and likes cupping your face in his large hands while he fucks you in missionary

- you like feeling small so he’ll always make sure he’s covering you…no matter the position, you’re captured in his hold

- has a dirty mouth…always groaning in your ear and calling you all kind of names. Good and bad ones

- “you’re my good girl, yeah?” “fuck, taking me like my good slut” “feel how deep daddy is in you? taking me so well, baby girl”

- loves spanking you. he’s an ass man, what can i say. watching your plush cheeks turn red and letting his hands grope and kneed at you… you sometimes have to cry out that it’s too much

- so possessive in bed. you’re not leaving the bed unless you’re covered in hickeys, dark bruises littering your neck and shoulders. he loves showing you off and he wants you to show him off as well

- breeding kink!!!! if you’re not on the pill or some kind of control, he’ll still beg to come inside of your pretty pussy. please let him fill you up, he needs to have a bit of himself in you… it helps soothe the possessive side of him. there’s nothing better than the feeling of your warm walls hugging him so tightly.

- aftercare is so important to him. once he makes sure you’ve cum at least twice, he’ll finish inside of you and make sure you’re satisfied. once you’re both coming down from your high, he’ll slowly pull out and walk to the bathroom to grab a damp towel. wipes you clean and then himself.

- makes sure to get you some water before he covers both of you up with the sheet and you cuddle; checks in with you on how it was and if anything needed to be changed

- make sure to thank your daddy for such a lovely round, and he’ll be ready to go for round two in a few minutes ;)

- when he has to go on tour, he makes sure to facetime you every night and wring at least one orgasm out of you. he knows his voice has an impact on you and he can’t help but tease you over the phone until you’re needy.

- isn’t rly one to send dick pics, but he’ll face time you and let you watch him stroke himself with your name on his lips

- “please come home soon, daddy” you’ll say

- he tells you, “daddy gon’ be back to to turn you inside out.”

a - affection (how affectionate are they? how do they show affection)

he is affectionate, in many ways

unlike others, he's not one to outwardly display affection publicly. no real grand gestures or ass speeches about being in love with you

but you know he is. because he shows you in so many other ways

he's more private with his affection, preferring to show his love when you guys are alone. he will love to cuddle you, compliment you in small doses and just be a very soft boy >.<

b - best friend (what would they be like as a best friend?)

he's the type who just wants to have a good time. he enjoys the banter you share and is fairly casual with his companionship with you

he doesn't like to get too deep. he won't talk much about his feelings and steers clear of most controversial subjects. he's the type that just enjoys a relaxed and carefree time with his bestie!

but in this attitude he has developed, it is clear that you guys are still very close. and people are very much jealous of your awesome friendship, as they should be

c - cuddles (would they like to cuddle? how do they cuddle?)

he loves to cuddle

i cannot stress this enough: he is the softest boy on the planet

he's never gonna tell you he likes cuddles. but it's so obvious it's like he's not even trying to hide it

he will flop on your body and just stay there, wanting to be close to you

or he will make cute little whining sounds and give you big sparkly eyes. that's his way of telling you he wants a big ol' cuddle session

just you laying there in his arms or him laying on you feels so comfortable and it makes his heart really happy and fluffy

d = domestic (do they want to settle down? how are they at cooking and cleaning?)

lee know would naturally settle down over time. it just sort of... happens, you know?

he doesn't feel the need to put labels on things because he is secure in the relationship, if that makes sense

he's good at cooking and wants to show off his skills to you. so he's very much comfortable in a kitchen environment, and may even like to experiment sometimes!

and i'd say in general he's pretty clean and tidy too. he usually just tidies up after himself a lot

e = ending (if they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

bluntly and to-the-point

it can't have been that much of a serious relationship if minho wants to break up. he doesn't like wasting his time with the wrong person

and if he senses you are the wrong person, he will most likely call off the relationship very early. he doesn't want to waste your time either, and he doesn't want to hurt you more if he can help it

f = fiance(e) (how do they feel about commitment? how quick would they want to get married?)

lee know if very loyal, so in a relationship, once he is comfortable and settled down, there's really no turning back for him

honestly, i don't know if he wants to get married. there's a traditional side of him that does, but there's also a side of him that slightly fears that kind of big, long-term commitment

so you'll have to talk it over with him and see how he really feels

g = gentle (how gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

it certainly fluctuates

physically, i'd say for the most part he is gentle. he likes small, gentle touches like holding your hand or nuzzling into you. but do expect the occasional pillow fight and wrestling matches

his sense of humour can be taken the wrong way at times. he might go too far with a joke or make a personal comment on a whim, not realising that what he is saying might hurt you

because, and i cannot stress this enough, minho has no bad intentions

he wants his life to be simple and stress-free, so he is not actively looking to pick a fight, make an argument or hurt someone's feelings

but he's also a very soft boy. and i feel like once he has warmed up to someone and come to know what you like and don't like, he is much more careful with his words. love definitely softens him

h = hugs (do they like hugs? how often do they do it? what are their hugs like?)

again, he loves hugs, but won't tell you verbally

so sometimes he will just pull you in for one, pressing his whole body against yours as you both just stand there, embracing each other

"what did you have for lunch today? did you eat well?" he will make casual conversation as he sways you from side to side

i = i love you (how fast do they say the L-word?)

ooooooooooooo

yeahhhh it's gonna take a while

you see 'words of affirmation' isn't his style most of the time. he finds it hard to express his love and feelings verbally, but that doesn't mean he feels it any less

he might say it when he thinks you are asleep. he will tuck you in and kiss you on your forehead, whispering a little 'i love you,' barely audible, and yet it makes your heart flutter all the same

j = jealousy (how jealous do they get? what do they do when they're jealous?)

i feel like he can get jealous at times

and he thinks he's good at hiding it but he''s really not

"who was that you were speaking to? are they nice? hmm?" he will pretend to take an interest when in reality he's trying to decide whether that person is a threat to your relationship at all

he shrugs it off though and acts cool and collected

k = kisses (what are their kisses like? where do they like to kiss you? where do they like to be kissed?)

mmhmmmmmmm so soft

the softest kisses fr

when he kisses you on the lips they are usually short, sweet, full of sparks of passion

he's such a good kisser as well ehbhbfihbndc

i need a moment

he likes to pepper tiny kisses along your neck because he knows they tickle and he gets a few little giggles out of you which makes his heart flutter

and he likes it when you kiss his cheeks. it makes him feel precious :( and he also appreciates getting neck kisses too, especially when he is tired. any kisses are welcome with him

l = little ones (how are they around children?)

minho is SO GOOD with children

he knows exactly what to do with them, which is crazy considering he is an only child and hasn't had to take care of any younger siblings before??

but his parents raised him well, so imitating them, as well as drawing from his own experience of being a cat dad, i would definitely trust him with my child!

m = morning (how are mornings spent with them?)

there are two mornings routines

no. 1: he rolls around in bed, moaning and whining about not wanting to get up. the bed is too warm and cosy, and he's got you in his arms, AND his cats have joined him in a cuddle fest too. it's just very soft, i'm sad

no. 2: he's already out of bed before you even wake up. you smell something from the kitchen and go down to investigate, only to discover lee know has made you some delicious breakfast!

n = night (how are nights spent with them?)

when lee know is tired, he is prone to being more cuddly and affectionate in general

so you catch him smiling at you often, or wanting to cuddle you for the rest of the night

probably suggest watching a movie or drama of some sort, but you both either end up talking the whole way through it or you fall asleep in each other's arms

o = open (when would they start revealing things about themselves? do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

he reveals things very slowly

i guess in his own little way he is trying to suss out if he can trust you, at least in the first stages of the relationship

he doesn't feel the need to reveal everything about himself but he realises he can't go on without being at least a little bit vulnerable with you. that's how a relationship grows, after all

so he will reveal himself, it will just take time

p = patience (how easily angered are they?)

he isn't easily angry. he's a pretty chill, laid-back sort of dude

like i said before, he wants his life to be simple and drama-free

therefore, he will only be angry when he needs to be, which is a pretty rare occasion

q = quizzes (how much would they remember about you? do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

he remembers much more than he lets on

especially holds on to the details of situations when you are together

he knows every present you have gotten him and the specific occasions you gave them to him

also, he will remember items or things you wanted to buy for yourself but didn't have the time, and buy them for you

"omg you remembered?" you might say when he gifts you an old, nostalgic book you mentioned one time to him. he will just shrug and say it's whatever, but it means a lot to him that you like it

r = remember (what is their favourite moment in your relationship?)

he doesn't really have a stand-alone moment because he spends so much time with you

and the more time he spends with you the more he falls in love with you

so he kind of views the 'present moment' as being his favourite because he knows he is former a deeper connection with the one he loves the most in the world

s = security (how protective are they? how would they protect you? how would they like to be protected?)

he can be quite protective actually!

usually shows it in subtle ways

puts an arm around you and moves you closer to his body when you are getting chatted up by some random dude

keeps an eye on you from across the room, checking up on you to make sure you're okay

little things like that

t = try (how much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

he puts a moderate amount of effort; a very balanced approach into the dating lifestyle

some people go all in with fancy restaurants, expensive gifts and excessive displays of love

and others rarely put in any effort

but minho is very balanced. he likes to treat his partner, and he also enjoys doing simple things with them

he likes to mix it up for sure

you never know what you're gonna get with him, he is full of surprises. it's one reason why being in a relationship with him is so fun and different

u = ugly (what would be some bad habits of theirs?)

he has a hard time discerning what he should take seriously

because he doesn't take much seriously

sure, he is serious about his job, his dancing, and other aspects of his life

but when he is with people he is close to, he prefers more light-hearted company

so if you want to talk about something serious or deep with him, it might take time for him to settle down from his usual, casual attitude

v = vanity (how concerned are they with their looks?)

he likes looking good and presentable, so he takes pride in his appearance

which is great for him because he looks good in everything, whether casual or formal clothing he's got people gawking at his handsomeness

so generally he doesn't feel he needs to wear makeup or anything to glitz and glam. he prefers a more casual look anyway

w = whole (would they feel incomplete without you?)

it will take a long, long time for minho to feel like this

actually, it would probably take some sort of shock to the system. some sort of wake-up call

like if you get into an argument with each other ad suddenly he doesn't see you for two, three, four days, which turn into weeks

he feels that. he feels your absence in his life, and despite trying to get his life back on track again, he hates the fact that he can't stop thinking about you

he knows he can't be without you after that. you become too important for him t let you go

x = xtra (a random headcanon for them)

this man likes horror movies

and it's quite often that he suggests watching them

if you get scared, he loves the way you cling to him or hide your face in his chest. he feels all warm and bubbly inside

he'll still make fun of you though

"are you that scared? this isn't even the worst bit yet" he will say whilst looking down at you with a fond, gentle smile, a hand reaching up to stroke your hair

y = yuck (what are some things they wouldn't like, either in general or in a partner?)

he doesn't like people who are too uptight

he just wants to get them to relax and chill out for a second

someone who is tense all the time is someone who lee know would not want to hang out with, it's as simple as that. he finds them hard to warm up to, or even have small talk with. he's not going to waste his efforts talking to someone who will never reciprocate the same energy back to him

z = zzz (what is a sleep habit of theirs?)

idk if this counts as a sleep habit but-

he is very much used to his cats coming in and sleeping on him

so there are mornings when he just wakes up with one of his cats sitting on his head and another curled up into his side

Before you can start to comfortably scream your frustrations about the lack of dateable people your age who aren’t either secret furries or mentally fourteen-years-old, the doorbell rings. You let out a long whine, then heave yourself up from the cushions. 

“Coming, coming,” you call out when the bell goes a second time. As you reach the door, you peer through the peephole. Your expression immediately sours. Pulling open the door, you muster your most unimpressed look. “Minho.” 

He looks far too pleased with himself already, leaning against the doorframe with one hand behind his back. “Shitty date?” He asks by way of greeting. 

“Asshole. I can’t believe—” You cut off mid-sentence, reeling back. “Why do you smell like a McDonald’s deep fryer?” 

Minho smiles disarmingly. “Because,” he says, “I know exactly how to cheer you up.” 

With that, Minho whips out a misshapen lump of crinkled paper from behind his back. It’s roughly funnel shaped, like a bouquet of flowers except—  

Your jaw falls open. “Are those chicken nuggets?” You ask, blinking at the greasy mess in front of you. “On chopsticks?” 

“Yep!” Minho looks enormously proud for someone who showed up at your door with twenty or so chicken nuggets stabbed onto the end of wooden sticks. “I went to a florist first, but it turns out bouquets are really expensive. Did you know that?” 

“Um,” you say, taking the lumpy nugget arrangement as Minho hands it to you on his way past. “I was vaguely aware.” 

Minho has always had a habit of being overly comfortable wherever he goes. Here is no different. He walks in, hangs his jacket up on a coat hook that at some point in your friendship just became his coat hook, then proceeds to throw himself onto his end of the sofa. 

You follow after him, still trying to process the fact that you’re holding about three boxes of chicken nuggets wrapped in tissue paper. “Alright, I think you knew this was coming,” you say, sitting down beside him. “But why the chicken nuggets?” 

He reaches into the bouquet and pulls out one of the skewers. “I’m courting you.” He bites the nugget off the end of the chopstick, and his eyebrows pull together in a frown. “They’re a bit cold.”

You copy him, nibbling on the end of a chicken nugget as your mind reels. “Courting me?” 

Minho rolls his eyes—it’s a common occurrence around you. “I wanna date you, stupid.” 

You stare at him for what feels like a full minute as he picks off another nugget from your bouquet before you burst into loud, unrestrained laughter. 

“Hey!” He says loudly, swatting your thigh. “Don’t laugh, I’m serious!” 

You hiccup, covering your face with your hands as tears of laughter leak out the corners of your eyes. “I’m sorry, but—the nuggets, I can’t—” and with that, you break into another fit of poorly-repressed giggles. 

“Make fun all you want,” Minho says. “This is flowers and dinner all in one. It’s a modern solution to a modern problem, and I think I deserve a little more credit.” 

You peek out from behind your fingers, cheeks aching with the force of your smile. Minho, for all his big talk, looks almost nervous. His gaze is lowered, and he’s playing with some loose thread on the seam of the couch. 

“Hey,” you say quietly, and your heart skips a beat when his eyes flick up to meet yours. “Come here.” 

His tongue darts out to wet his lips as he moves closer, but he leaves you the room to take the lead. You lift your hands to either side of his jaw, and pitch forwards until your noses are bumping together. Minho’s lips press against yours, moving with teasing, tentative kisses as his hand slides up the outside of your thigh. You smile into the kiss, and have to pull away when you can’t help but let out a delighted laugh. 

Minho smiles back at you, his eyes still focused on your mouth. “What’s so funny?” He mumbles, trying to chase your lips. 

You allow him one more kiss before gently pushing him away with another laugh. “I just remembered that you set me up on a blind date tonight.” 

Minho eyes dance with amusement, the corner of his mouth tugging into a half-smile. “All part of my plan,” he explains smugly. “I wanted to be the knight in shining armour. With chicken nuggets.” 

You stare at him. “Minho, are you serious? I had to sit with the guy for an hour! All he did was talk about stocks!” 

“I know right,” Minho says with a bright laugh. “I knew you’d hate it.” 

You grab the pillow from the corner of the couch and smack it against his side. “You are such a dick!” 

“Ow!” He whines, “Is that what you think of me?” 

You hit him with the pillow again for good measure, but when he giggles, you can’t help but grin back. “Well, not only,” you say. 

Before you can say anything else, Minho grabs the pillow from you and throws it right back, sending you tumbling onto your back. 

“Careful what you say,” he warns, climbing over you with a wicked glint in his eye. “I have the power to withhold chicken nuggets.” 

“Do it, they’re cold anyway,” you goad. Minho’s expression turns completely deadpan, and you barely have time to prepare yourself before he’s attacking your sides with his fingers, sending you into shrieks of laughter. 

Before you can start to comfortably scream your frustrations about the lack of dateable people your age who aren’t either secret furries or mentally fourteen-years-old, the doorbell rings. You let out a long whine, then heave yourself up from the cushions. 

“Coming, coming,” you call out when the bell goes a second time. As you reach the door, you peer through the peephole. Your expression immediately sours. Pulling open the door, you muster your most unimpressed look. “Minho.” 

He looks far too pleased with himself already, leaning against the doorframe with one hand behind his back. “Shitty date?” He asks by way of greeting. 

“Asshole. I can’t believe—” You cut off mid-sentence, reeling back. “Why do you smell like a McDonald’s deep fryer?” 

Minho smiles disarmingly. “Because,” he says, “I know exactly how to cheer you up.” 

With that, Minho whips out a misshapen lump of crinkled paper from behind his back. It’s roughly funnel shaped, like a bouquet of flowers except—  

Your jaw falls open. “Are those chicken nuggets?” You ask, blinking at the greasy mess in front of you. “On chopsticks?” 

“Yep!” Minho looks enormously proud for someone who showed up at your door with twenty or so chicken nuggets stabbed onto the end of wooden sticks. “I went to a florist first, but it turns out bouquets are really expensive. Did you know that?” 

“Um,” you say, taking the lumpy nugget arrangement as Minho hands it to you on his way past. “I was vaguely aware.” 

Minho has always had a habit of being overly comfortable wherever he goes. Here is no different. He walks in, hangs his jacket up on a coat hook that at some point in your friendship just became his coat hook, then proceeds to throw himself onto his end of the sofa. 

You follow after him, still trying to process the fact that you’re holding about three boxes of chicken nuggets wrapped in tissue paper. “Alright, I think you knew this was coming,” you say, sitting down beside him. “But why the chicken nuggets?” 

He reaches into the bouquet and pulls out one of the skewers. “I’m courting you.” He bites the nugget off the end of the chopstick, and his eyebrows pull together in a frown. “They’re a bit cold.”

You copy him, nibbling on the end of a chicken nugget as your mind reels. “Courting me?” 

Minho rolls his eyes—it’s a common occurrence around you. “I wanna date you, stupid.” 

You stare at him for what feels like a full minute as he picks off another nugget from your bouquet before you burst into loud, unrestrained laughter. 

“Hey!” He says loudly, swatting your thigh. “Don’t laugh, I’m serious!” 

You hiccup, covering your face with your hands as tears of laughter leak out the corners of your eyes. “I’m sorry, but—the nuggets, I can’t—” and with that, you break into another fit of poorly-repressed giggles. 

“Make fun all you want,” Minho says. “This is flowers and dinner all in one. It’s a modern solution to a modern problem, and I think I deserve a little more credit.” 

You peek out from behind your fingers, cheeks aching with the force of your smile. Minho, for all his big talk, looks almost nervous. His gaze is lowered, and he’s playing with some loose thread on the seam of the couch. 

“Hey,” you say quietly, and your heart skips a beat when his eyes flick up to meet yours. “Come here.” 

His tongue darts out to wet his lips as he moves closer, but he leaves you the room to take the lead. You lift your hands to either side of his jaw, and pitch forwards until your noses are bumping together. Minho’s lips press against yours, moving with teasing, tentative kisses as his hand slides up the outside of your thigh. You smile into the kiss, and have to pull away when you can’t help but let out a delighted laugh. 

Minho smiles back at you, his eyes still focused on your mouth. “What’s so funny?” He mumbles, trying to chase your lips. 

You allow him one more kiss before gently pushing him away with another laugh. “I just remembered that you set me up on a blind date tonight.” 

Minho eyes dance with amusement, the corner of his mouth tugging into a half-smile. “All part of my plan,” he explains smugly. “I wanted to be the knight in shining armour. With chicken nuggets.” 

You stare at him. “Minho, are you serious? I had to sit with the guy for an hour! All he did was talk about stocks!” 

“I know right,” Minho says with a bright laugh. “I knew you’d hate it.” 

You grab the pillow from the corner of the couch and smack it against his side. “You are such a dick!” 

“Ow!” He whines, “Is that what you think of me?” 

You hit him with the pillow again for good measure, but when he giggles, you can’t help but grin back. “Well, not only,” you say. 

Before you can say anything else, Minho grabs the pillow from you and throws it right back, sending you tumbling onto your back. 

“Careful what you say,” he warns, climbing over you with a wicked glint in his eye. “I have the power to withhold chicken nuggets.” 

“Do it, they’re cold anyway,” you goad. Minho’s expression turns completely deadpan, and you barely have time to prepare yourself before he’s attacking your sides with his fingers, sending you into shrieks of laughter. 

“I don’t know… Maybe I’m just doing something wrong?” You mused as you absentmindedly moved through the aisles of the store, fingering through racks of clothes that looked to have been just set out. “Maybe I need to set up a date night or something, just to try to bring that spark back… You know?” You finally looked up at your friend who was leaning across the rack of clothes, eyeing you with both confusion and pity. 

Her eyebrows were arched, but her lips were pouted as she let out a disappointed scoff, shaking her head. “Oh, hon… There was never a spark in the first place.” Your jaw dropped when she said it, quickly shaking your own head in disagreement. “I’m serious. I mean maybe there was… But it lasted about as long as a lit match in a hurricane. There’s no amount of dates that can fix that.” 

Your eyes rolled as you pulled off one of the sweater dresses, holding it up to your body and looking at yourself in the mirror, a solemn smile on your face as you thought about the occasion that you could wear an outfit like that for. “Maybe we just need to find the time to be more… intimate.” And she groaned loudly, dramatically gagging as she turned away from you. “Oh come ooon, I’d listen to you if you needed to have a talk like this, and I wouldn’t react the way you are right now. Why can’t you just listen?” 

A loud huff escaped her as she ran her hand through her hair. “Because I’d never need to have this kind of conversation. Because I’d leave a guy when I found out that he didn’t love me, and it surely wouldn’t take me three years to realize it.” Her words hit you like a brick, not because the information was new, but because she was just pointing out the one thing that you didn’t want to bring yourself to realize, the one thing that you were so scared to admit to yourself that you tried to block it out. “Y/N… I know that you love him… There’s nothing more obvious in the world than your love for him… But he doesn’t love you back. I’m sorry…” 

Your bottom lip trembled still as you tried to hold it still between your teeth, soft sniffles accompanied by shaky breaths had you quickly hanging up the dress and rushing out of the store, not keen to the idea of having a breakdown in the middle of the mall. Was it that noticeable? Could everyone else see it just as well as you could that his love for you wasn’t just faded, but gone entirely? “What do I do?” You choked out, standing outside the mall as the brisk winds of November whipped around you, blowing your hair in all directions and chilling you through the thick coat that you were wearing. 

She had so much to say, but now she was silent, wrapping her arm around you and leading you to the car, leaving you with thoughts and contemplations, worries and wonders of what to do, and what would be to come. “Do what’s best for Y/N…” She murmured, finally finding what she thought to be the right words. “But you deserve to be with someone who will give you back just as much love as I know you can give.” 

The drive to your home took too long, letting you sit in the passenger side of her car, dwelling on your thoughts and her words, but it also didn’t take long enough, and you were soon sitting outside of your apartment, the windows seeming to stare down at you menacingly, as if they knew just what you were thinking and exactly what was about to happen. “I’ll talk to you later tonight…” You whispered, giving her the best smile you could muster before climbing out of the car. 

Your feet felt like lead, barely able to pick them up to carry you through the front doors, and you were practically shuffling over to the elevator that would bring you up to your floor. He had moved into your apartment with you, something that you had been so excited for when he brought it up, that is, until he proclaimed that it was only because it was still close enough to the office and he’d be able to get some work done away from the guys. 

It was still a rare occasion to be able to see him, even if he did live with you, he was always at the office, and even though his reason for moving in with you was partly to have some alone time away from the guys, he was always with them. That thought alone had your feet losing most of the weight that you felt in them, the new found hope filled promise that he’d be gone still, to let you think things over, think about how you’d talk to him, how you’d bring up everything that had been shared between you and your friend. 

As you walked through the front door, you were shocked to see Chan sitting on the couch, hunched over his laptop like he usually was, but a quick glance at the clock let you know that it was too early for him to be here, he usually wasn’t even back home until you were fast asleep. “Wow, you’re home early…” You commented, kicking your shoes off and hanging up your purse and your coat in the closet before heading into the living room, dropping down into the recliner across from him. 

“Yeah, it’s just easier for me to work here, it’s peaceful.” He mumbled, not even lifting his head to look at you over the screen, but his words had you filling with a little bit of hope. Did your apartment bring him peace because it was a part of you, because he was surrounded with pictures and objects that reminded him of you? “Well, it was… I thought you’d be gone a little longer and I’d get some work done.” 

The smile that he hadn’t even caught you wearing quickly dropped, and you swallowed down the hope like it was a pill, one that was far too big and it got lodged in your throat, choking off your air. “We couldn’t stay out too long… She had to go to work…” You muttered the lie, not wanting him to know that you almost had an emotional breakdown at work, although you were sure that he wouldn’t even care. 

“Shame… I guess I can go to the room…” He grumbled, closing up his laptop and shaking his head as he leaned back against the couch cushion, running his hands over his face and letting out a loud yawn. He wasn’t even your boyfriend anymore, it didn’t feel that way, he was more like a roommate. “Do you think you can bring me a glass of water though so I can have it while I work?” It wasn’t the question itself that had your nails digging into the lap of your jeans, creating thin white lines in the dark denim fabric, no… It was the way he said it. It wasn’t a question, it was an expectation, like you were no more than a maid or a servant to him, your presence not needed, but convenient for things like this. 

“Do you even love me anymore?” You blurted out, staring at him with eyes that were already filling with tears. You knew the answer before he even said it, the way he reacted to it, the roll of his eyes and the sigh that already sounded like he was exhausted with the conversation before it began. “Why are you here? Why are you still here if you don’t?” 

He groaned loudly, pushing himself up off the couch and heading into the kitchen, avoiding the questions that should be so simply answered by him. He had all the answers, and you had the right to know, so why was he walking away from it? You quickly got up, following behind him and grabbing his arm, forcing him to look at you, to answer you. “Why are you bringing this up now? I’m busy. You know that I’m busy.” 

Your head shook quickly, your jaw set as you glared up at him with blurry eyes, your nose twitching from the sniffles that you were trying so hard to hold back. “You’re always fucking busy. Answer the damn question, Christopher.” You hissed, your voice breaking on his name and your head quickly dropping to momentarily blink away the tears. 

“It seems like you already know the answer to your questions, Y/N. Why do you need me to answer them?” He sounded so snide, so cocky in his response that it took everything in you not to hit him, to let yourself lash out at him. It seemed too easy for him to brush it off, to brush you off, and it truly seemed like your emotions, your feelings didn’t matter to him, and it had you questioning whether they ever had. “And why does it even matter? It’s not like all of this is new, it’s not like I’m acting any differently than I have been for the past year and a half… What difference will any of these questions make?” 

Your fists were clenched at your sides, your body shaking with anger and heavy breaths that seemed impossible to breathe in past the lump that was in your throat. “Be…Because I need someone who loves me, and you clearly don’t. I wasn’t keeping you around because it was convenient for you, it sure as hell wasn’t convenient for me. I let you stay here because I thought… I thought that there was still something here…” 

He scoffed, running his fingers through his hair. “Love isn’t real anymore. The only thing that’s been convenient is the word itself… You drop it like a dime and you can get whatever you want. The entire world wants to be loved, Y/N… But so few people find someone who really means it.” All of the air left your lungs in one loud gasp as you stared up at the man who you loved with every ounce of your being, the man who just confessed that his love for you was nothing more than a convenient phrase. “Do you want me to start packing my stuff now, or do you want to try to talk this out?” 

He really didn’t care, and your tears felt foolish now, being wasted on someone like him, someone who clearly didn’t have a single place in his heart for anyone or anything but his career and his band members. “Now.” You practically growled the word, pushing him towards the direction of the bedroom, and while it felt foolish to cry, the tears seemed to flow endlessly down your cheeks. “Get your shit and get out!” You screeched, your pushes weak and barely moving him an inch, but he didn’t tell you to stop, he didn’t even try to stop you. 

You stepped back into your apartment, kicking off the uncomfortable heels that had been scraping at the back of your foot for hours now, leaving a blister that was painful as hell, a blister that seemed unnecessary now considering the fact that you had been stood up. 

The dress that you were wearing was constrictive now, making it hard to breathe, or maybe it was just the fact that you were breathing so heavily while trying to hold back your tears, feeling foolish for even having a hint of tears in your eyes over someone that had let you down so many times before. 

Your fingers struggled to pull the zipper down in the back as you walked to your room, letting out a heavy sigh once the garment slipped down your frame and pooled around your feet, quickly grabbing a large t-shirt from your drawer and pulling it over your head before heading back out to your kitchen, going straight to the fridge and grabbing a plate of leftovers from the night before to heat up. 

The wine that you had drank earlier at the restaurant filled your empty stomach and had you feeling warm and slightly nauseous, your head dizzy and your eyes threatening to close as the potent drink had you on the verge of dozing off against the counter while you leaned against it, waiting for the microwave to beep. 

A lack of notifications on your phone further validated that the night that you had planned was forgotten about carelessly, just as every other plan was forgotten. Date nights that you had excitedly written across the calendar and counted down to were harshly crossed out, the force behind the pen pushing into the back of the page and the ink almost bleeding onto the next month. 

The microwave came to a stop, coupled with an ear ringing beep that had you throwing open the door and pulling out the hot plate and practically throwing it onto the dining table, dropping down into your chair and letting out a yawn before shoveling the piping hot food into your mouth, barely even registering the pain of the burning heat on your tongue. 

Exhaustion and the tingle that the wine had left in your stomach had you full before your plate was even emptied, your head heavy and almost dropping down into the leftover food. You hadn’t even gotten a call, an apology for being stood up, and you weren’t going to wait around forever for one, you weren’t going to wait up for him to finally realize what he had done, so with tired legs you pushed yourself up from the table and dropped your plate into the sink, promising yourself that you’d clean it in the morning once you were well rested. 

The sound of the alarm on your door beeping had you groggily sitting up in your bed, rubbing your eyes as a string of grumbled curses left the person that had come in, the person that you thought you’d go the whole night without seeing or hearing from, but lo and behold, they decided to show up now at the ungodly hour of 3 in the morning, and his sudden presence only annoyed you more. 

“If you’re here to spend the night, you can just go back home.” You said tiredly, walking out of your bedroom as you tied the robe around you, going to the fridge to grab a bottle of water. “I’m going back to bed, but I’ll see you out.” 

The look on his face was pure shock, not a single hint of regret though, no sympathy, just pure shock as if he didn’t understand why you were mad, why you were kicking him out. “I’m sorry I came over late, I wanted to see you though. I was working and I got so tired, I went back to the dorms and fell asleep.” Sure, it sounded plausible, it was highly believable, but even still, he didn’t bring up the fact that he missed the anniversary dinner, he didn’t say he was sorry. The only thing he could do was make excuses for himself. 

“Well you should have just stayed there. Coming over at this hour is stupid and I have work tomorrow and I have to make up a day for taking off.” You retorted, taking a swig from the bottle and twisting the cap back on before placing it back into the refrigerator. “So can you just go?” The last words came out as a mumble as you leaned against the fridge, staring at him from across the room as he stood in the entryway, his shoes slipped off as if he were home, but he didn’t come any further inside. 

He hesitantly stepped forward, his head tilted questioningly as he looked at you. “Did something happen? Did I do something? I mean, I know I didn’t text you today as much as I should have…” The words had a sliver of hope building in your chest, maybe he didn’t actually forget, maybe he truly was just tired and fell asleep as soon as he landed on a comfortable surface. “But I text you all the time, and you’re usually so understanding if I miss out on a couple hours. I don’t know what’s so different about today.” And that sliver of hope turned into a sliver of glass, lodged into your heart. Just tiny enough to not cause any real damage, but it still hurt, it stung, and you couldn’t seem to get it out, at least not while he was standing in front of you absolutely clueless as to what was really wrong. 

Two years you had been with him, and he forgot the anniversary last year and said that he wouldn’t forget it again. He had seemed so sorry, yet here you were, going through the same thing. His schedule was busy, you knew that, but your schedule was busy too, and your anniversary fell around a time when there wasn’t very much going on. Even if he couldn’t make it to the dinner, the least he could have done was call or text you to let you know that he did remember. “You don’t know because you forgot. You always forget.” His eyebrows lowered, eyes narrowing as he stared at you, clearly more confused than he had been even before. “Seriously, Seungmin… I have to go to bed, and I don’t want to get into this with you tonight. I don’t even care anymore.” You waved your hand as if you were swatting him away, like a fly or a mosquito, but he didn’t move. 

“What did I forget?” He murmured, his steps towards you even slower now, like every move that he makes is calculated. “It’s not your birthday, it wasn’t a holiday… We weren’t planning on going to see your family because that’s next month…” He was thinking so hard, and then, as if a lightbulb had gone off above him, his head shot up to look at you, his lips parted and his eyes wide, his steps coming to a complete halt in the middle of the kitchen. “I did it again… Shit… I’m so sorry. I… I didn’t mean to… I really… We had dinner plans, that’s right and… Oh god, did you go?” 

With lips drawn into a thin line, your eyes like knives pointed to him, you nodded your head. “Yes, I did. I went, and I sat there for two hours and I drank too many glasses of wine and then I came home, and I heated up a meal that I didn’t even finish and then I went to bed. That’s how my evening went. Thank you for asking.” It was impossible to sound unfazed by everything that happened, especially when voicing it all to him, but as he listened to you speak, you could see the mask of sadness being pulled over his face, his eyes growing soft as he continued to stare at you. “It was the most humiliating thing, and I’d rather just go to bed right now and try to forget about it, and the longer you’re here, the harder it’ll be for me to forget. At least give me until tomorrow afternoon when I get off work.” 

He sighed loudly, scratching the back of his neck as he stared down at the floor. “I’ll make it up to you…” He murmured, nodding his head in agreement to his own promise. “I get that you don’t want to see me tonight… I can’t apologize enough… Two years in a row… It’s my fault… But I’ll make it up to you. Next time you have a day off, I’ll make sure I’m off… I won’t let you down again, I don’t want to lose you just because I’m an idiot.” You chuckled softly, the sound more like a breath leaving your nose, but it had him lifting his head slowly, his eyes aglow with his own sense of hope, but even though he was hopeful, he knew that it would be pushing it to ask you to stay the night. “I’ll see you tomorrow… After you get off work then… I promise.” 

And you nodded, agreeing to the promise, agreeing to see him, because even though he had stood you up tonight, and he hadn’t been there last year, he had been there so many other times when you needed him, and you weren’t just going to let someone as perfect as him go for something that, in the grand scheme of your relationship, was miniscule. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Seungmin.” You whispered, walking over to him when you noticed that he was still reluctant to close the distance. 

Your arms wrapped around his waist as you pressed a small kiss to his jawline, the action eliciting a shaky sigh of relief from between his lips. “You will… You’ll see me tomorrow…” He didn’t have to say that he promised it, you could hear it in his tone, it sounded more like a vow. “I love you, Y/N… I’m sorry, again… But I want you to know that these last two years have been the best and I really, really do love being with you.” His cheeks burned a bright red, and you could feel the heat beneath them when you cupped his face in your hands. “Next year… I’ll be there. I’ll plan the date myself… I won’t let it happen a third time, I’m not striking out… You’re the greatest thing that’s ever happened to me, I’m not ruining this.” 

He leaned in, pressing his lips against yours, the kiss gentle, yet it held so much passion behind it that you felt like you were melting against him, your body going practically limp as you pressed yourself against him, your fingers clinging onto his shirt the only thing keeping you upright. Once you finally pulled away, the both of you were breathless, tired smiles pulling at the corners of both of your lips. “You can sleep on the couch if you want… I just don’t want the alarm going off and potentially waking the neighbors…” You mused, doe eyed looking up at him, and his tired smile turned to a smirk. 

“Oh, is that the reason?” He teased, playfully squeezing your hips as you backed away from him, rolling your eyes as you went to the hall closet and pulled out a spare blanket and tossed it to him. 

“Mmhm…” You hummed, mirroring his smirk as you walked to your bedroom, hovering in the doorway and giggling softly. “Goodnight, Minnie. I’ll see you in the morning.” You cooed before stepping into your room and slowly shutting the door behind you, listening to the sound of his feet on the hardwood as he made his way to the couch. 

The relationship wasn’t even supposed to be a thing, you weren’t supposed to end up together, and you weren’t supposed to fall in love, but things happened and… you found yourself head over heels for someone that you had told yourself so many times before didn’t have time for you. There wasn’t any space for you, not in his life, not in his schedule, not in anything that had to do with him. You told him the same thing, and while you both knew that you were right, for some reason, neither of you wanted to let go of the other. You should have stood your ground, you should have stood by what you said, but for some reason, for some foolish reason that you’d never truly understand, you stayed. 

Distance… It can hurt people, whether it’s on purpose, or by accident, or just because the person really had to go. It was something that you thought you had prepared yourself for, the constant tours, the trips, the vacations that you weren’t allowed to go on because it was for the show, and the world didn’t know about you yet. You’d nod your head in understanding, plastering on a smile, one that he said he adored, and swallow back the pain that you felt knowing that you’d spend another set of days, weeks, possibly even months without him. It was the usual, but even still, no matter how many times it had happened, it didn’t make it any less painful when he was gone. 

With the distance came trust, the need for trust, it required it, because if you didn’t trust him while he was gone, the thoughts of what he could be doing would destroy you, it would eat you from the inside out. You needed that trust, and while he trusted you, you found it hard to trust him. It’s not like he had ever given you a reason to not trust him, but you couldn’t stop the thoughts from invading every corner of your mind when you didn’t have anything else to occupy it. When you were alone, you had too much time to wonder, and to ponder every single pessimistic thought that you tried so hard to push back, to push down, and get rid of completely. 

It was hard, it was hard, because you knew you shouldn’t be with him, you knew that it wasn’t meant to last, and you knew that the world didn’t know about you and he wasn’t planning on telling the world about you any time soon… or at all. Nobody knew that you existed for him, nobody but him, and it would be easy for him to forget about you for a moment to indulge himself in whatever he felt like he needed. He could get anyone he wanted, it would be easy for him, and that was just another factor that had you questioning why… Why did he pick you? There was nothing special about you, there was nothing eye-catching that would draw him to you, that would make him want to stay with you. That thought process was supposed to prepare you, just in case you saw anything, just in case you were told something… And in some way it did prepare you, you felt like it was coming, and you had come to terms with the fact that you could possibly see something that would hurt, that would destroy you and make you feel like less than a human being, but you had never prepared yourself for what was going to happen, what did happen. 

The time difference was a pain in the ass for you, but it was probably a blessing for him. He didn’t have to constantly call you or text you, not that you had ever asked him for that, just a simple hello and an I’m okay would have sufficed, but he constantly had the excuse of not wanting to bother you while you were at work or not wanting to wake you when you were sleeping when he was on tour. It was an easy out for him, to not have to talk to you, to not have to keep in contact with you and always have the perfect reason. 

That’s why you were shocked, and even confused when you got a call from him one afternoon, and you knew that it was nighttime for him, and your immediate instinct was to worry about him, to worry about the rest of the guys. It was 1 in the morning for him and you were thinking the worst, and how could you not? There was no reason for him to be up that late, it’s not like he was doing a VLIVE with the rest of the guys, he needed his sleep, he had just finished a show earlier that night, he had to be tired. 

You rushed to answer your phone, and as soon as you did, you could hear the heavy breathing and the sound of what seemed to be crying from his end. “Binnie! What happened?! What’s wrong?!” You whisper shouted into the phone, gripping onto the edge of the counter to support yourself as your mind ran through different scenarios of what could have happened. Had someone attacked him? Had a crazy fan followed him up to his hotel room? You had so many questions, so many thoughts, so many fears, and he wasn’t answering you yet which only had you panicking more. “Where… where are you? Are you okay?” 

A shaky breath sounded through the receiver, and it felt like your legs were going weak waiting, waiting for something, anything. “I’m fine… I’m… I’m sorry…” He mumbled and his words didn’t bring you any comfort, they only had you worrying more, the clock ticking down the seconds, one small tick for every breath you took, every beat of silence that followed after. “I messed up…” 

It was the last three words that you truly focused on, that you allowed yourself to hear. Everything that followed after sounded like he was going through a tunnel, the words crackling and breaking up, leaving some parts of his confession unheard and unintelligible. You knew that it only sounded that way because you both were crying now, you couldn’t catch your breath and his words were coming out choked off and in between sobs as he tried to apologize, but you were deaf to it, not wanting to hear the apologies, not wanting to hear sorries or how he didn’t mean to do it. You didn’t want to hear any of it. 

“I’ll… I’ll be gone when you come back…” You whispered, your knees giving out beneath you, the countertop not giving you the support that you needed anymore. You hadn’t thought that you’d get the call from him, you didn’t think that you’d find out from him… And you didn’t even know how you were supposed to feel. All this time you thought you had prepared yourself, and you had… You had been prepared to see him on the front page of google with someone else, or see it trending on twitter… But you hadn’t been expecting to be told by him, and that’s what hurt you the most, to hear it from his own mouth. If it had been a news article or a twitter post, there could be the chance that they were wrong, that it was all bullshit, that it was just rumors being spread. You wanted to have that chance, that chance to believe that he was faithful, that you could trust him… But you couldn’t… Not when he had told you with his own mouth what he had done. 

He was stuttering, tripping over his own words now as he tried to reason with you, but how could he even try? How could he even attempt to try to reason with you, to try to make you stay after admitting what he had done? “Don’t… Just wait for me to come back… We can talk about it…” He rushed out, his words were as shaky as his breaths, it sounded like he was running, but the lack of air around him let you know that he was sitting still, the only thing that was running wild were his emotions. Did he regret it? Did he feel guilt? “It was a mistake… I’m sorry… Say something, please. Talk to me…”

You shook your head, a soft squeak sounding as you tried to take a deep breath. “It was a mistake…?” You repeated, the disbelief evident in your tone. One doesn’t just… mistakenly sleep with someone else… he knew exactly what he did, he knows what he did, and there was no amount of talking, no apologies, no explanation that would make what he did not awful. “No… No, it was a mistake staying with you. I knew that I shouldn’t have… I knew from the beginning that I shouldn’t have stayed with you, I shouldn’t have trusted you. I knew that you couldn’t be there for me, I knew that this wouldn’t work but you tried so fucking hard to make me believe that it would… And for what? So you could do this? So you could hurt me in the end? Were you expecting some kind of acceptance? That I’d stay with you still after all this? Your fame, your money, and your status… It won’t make what you did go away… It’s not enough to make me stay with you…” You were shaking, every part of you was shaking, your hands, your arms, you were a trembling mess on the floor as a tornado of emotions devastated your entire being. “I regret staying with you… I shouldn’t have believed you… This whole time, every time you went away… Every single time you hid me away… I knew it was stupid… I was stupid… And I never stopped regretting it.” 

Short raspy breaths came through the speaker of your phone, and for the first time since you had answered that call, you felt like you could stand, you felt like you could get up, dust yourself off, and move forward. Your phone was sat on the counter on speaker as you used the edge to pull yourself up once again, feeling stronger now that you had gotten it all out. It felt like you were free. “I… I don’t know what to say… I’m sorry… I ruined it. I ruined us… But I swear… I didn’t mean to hurt you. I never meant for this to happen… You’re not stupid… I am… And I’ll never… ever stop regretting hurting you…” You hummed in response, there was nothing else to say, you had nothing to say to him anymore. “So… this is goodbye then? Is this it?” 

Being able to surprise him at work wasn’t something that you were able to do often, your own work schedule held you back and kept you from seeing him as often as you’d like to, but for the first time in what feels like forever, you could see him, you could watch him practice, you could talk to him about how hectic work has been for you, and you could just lean on him both literally and metaphorically. He was your favorite person to talk to when you got just a little too stressed out, he always found a way to cheer you up, to make you almost forget what you had been upset or stressed about in the first place. That’s why you loved him, that’s why you needed him, and that’s why it broke your heart when you walked into the practice room and saw him lying on the floor, his head on the lap of some woman that you had never seen before, her fingers brushing through his hair. It was something that seemed so… personal, so intimate, and you didn’t even get to do things like that with him often, especially not around the other guys. 

“Oh cool! Y/N brought snacks! Thanks!” Jeongin called out, running over to where you stood at the door. “You can come in, don’t worry. We were just taking a break.” He teased, assuming that you were hesitating because you were waiting to be welcomed and not because you had caught your boyfriend in the lap of another girl. What made it worse was the way he jumped up at the announcement of your name, the guilt written across his face as if it were all in black and white, he didn’t expect to be caught. 

You shook your head, passing the bag to the maknae and taking a step back. “No, I just wanted to stop by and give you this… I have to get back to work now.” Work, which at this point didn’t hold a candle to the stress that you saw in the practice room. Work was like falling asleep on a bed with freshly washed sheets and a warm blanket, work was walking along the shore line and hearing the waves crash as your toes dug into the heated sand. Work was your escape from the reality that you didn’t want to face just yet, or maybe not at all. 

“A-Are you sure?” Jisung called out after you, but a slight grunt and the sudden padding of heavy footsteps behind you had you whipping around to see the one person that you didn’t want to see at all. He didn’t just look guilty, he looked upset, disappointed, and even angry, although you weren’t sure whether those emotions were directed towards you or himself, but you were hoping that they were towards himself considering you hadn’t done anything wrong, you had simply come to see him. It’s not your fault that he got caught. 

“I know what you’re thinking…” He breathed out, and you shook your head… He didn’t know what you were thinking, he didn’t know at all, but you wanted to hear his defense, how he’d try to write this off, so you crossed your arms, watching him closely as you waited for him to speak. “I know that that probably looked really… really bad… But I swear, she’s just a friend. That’s all.” 

You nodded your head slowly, and you could see his chest rise with the heavy breath that he was planning on letting out in a loud sigh of relief, he was expecting you to just be okay with it, to believe his words without a second thought. He was expecting a lot, but you’d shoot down those expectations, and his breath would be held for much longer. “So if I go in there and ask her that, she’d tell me that the two of you are just friends?” You questioned, and you saw his eyes widen, the preemptive look of relief was immediately gone as he stared at you. “And the other guys, they’ll tell me that she’s just a friend too? I wasn’t born yesterday, Minho…” You ran your hand through your hair, letting out your own sigh. It was hard, but it was so easy at the same time. 

Somewhere, lingering in the back of your mind since the two of you had been dating, there was always a doubt, a question of how loyal he truly was. You had always tried to lock away those thoughts, telling yourself that you were wrong and that it all stemmed from his line of work since he was gone so often. Never had you thought that you’d ever be right, not about him. “Look, it was nothing, I swear! You have to trust me… You know that I’d never do anything to hurt you, you know that. You don’t need to ask the guys, you don’t need to ask her, because they’ll tell you the same exact thing I’m telling you now. Believe me, trust me. I love you, only you.” 

His hands reached out to grab yours, but you quickly swatted them away, taking another step back as you shook your head, your face crinkling into disgust as you looked at him. “No… You don’t want me to ask them because it’ll only further prove how much you lie to me, how much you’ve been lying to me. But I’m not going to waste my time and do that, because I already know that I’m right. I don’t believe you… And I don’t trust you. Not anymore.” 

One set of eyes had been watching the entire time, and the owner of those eyes had become your landing, had become your safety net when it felt like you were falling from so high up that you didn’t even know when you were going to land. He had come to your rescue just as you were about to crash against the pavement, catching you in arms that held you so tightly, that sometimes it felt like he’d never let go. 

That was the one nice thing about yours and Lee Knows relationship never going public, not even to the people that he was closest to. It allowed you to get closer to them, it allowed you to make friends, and it allowed a relationship to bud in what you thought was a dead patch of land, a circle of grass that obtained no sunlight and never got any rain. 

“Can’t believe your apartment hasn’t decided to invest in an elevator!” He shouted out as you helped him carry the bags of groceries up the stairs that you traveled on a daily basis. “No wonder your ass is so nice though, loving the view from back here.” He continued, causing a loud giggle to erupt from your chest, and if your arms hadn’t been full of bags you would have reached around to smack him for saying something like that. 

“~Haaaan!” You whined out his name in between your giggles, shaking your head as you tried to rush up the rest of the stairs, hoping that none of your neighbors would hear his boisterous outbursts of raunchy compliments, because you knew that once he started, and once he got a reaction out of you, he wouldn’t stop until he ran out of things to say. 

He chuckled loudly, and you could hear his own footsteps picking up in speed to try to keep up with your own. “I always questioned why your thighs didn’t get tired when you were on top, now it makes sense! My baby girl is fit!” He announced proudly, and you felt the entirety of your body heating up with embarrassment, and, as fit as he said you were, you couldn’t seem to make it to your own floor fast enough. 

Han was always like this though, and it was something that, after five months, you had grown used to, but never fully got over the embarrassment from. He always knew how to make you laugh, he always knew how to bring a smile to your face… In a sense, he and Lee Know were the same, they brought the same kind of comfort and joy to a relationship, the only difference was that Han wasn’t ashamed of being with you, he didn’t hide the relationship. Hell, he had announced to the other members that the two of you were dating as soon as you said yes, and it took a couple tries for you to finally agree to being in a relationship again in the first place. He brought you everywhere with him, he didn’t care about publicity, he didn’t care how anyone would react, he was just happy to be with you, and you were finally shown through him what a real relationship was like. 

“Oh… Looks like we have company!” Han called out the obvious as you both spotted the person standing in front of your door, holding a cardboard box against their chest and staring in the opposite direction of the stairs that you and Han were walking up. “I can handle it, if you want to just go in the apartment and then I’ll meet you in there to help put the groceries away.” 

You both knew who it was, the body type, the way he stood, the way he tried to avoid eye contact with the both of you. “It’s fine… I’ll just get whatever he has and come back inside.” You murmured, finally reaching the top of the stairs and moving to stand next to Lee Know so you could unlock the door, although he stood as still as a statue as he turned to watch you. “Good afternoon, Minho… Is that more of my stuff?” You asked casually, his presence not eliciting the type of reaction that you knew he wanted, it hadn’t worked in a while, but that didn’t stop him from trying. “You can just drop the box off inside, thank you.” You said as you pushed open the door, letting Han walk in first and then holding the door open for Minho who hesitated outside. 

“I want to talk to you…” He whispered, and you could almost hear Hans neck snapping as he whipped his head around to look at both you and Minho. “Without an audience…” And you knew he was talking about Han, and Han knew he was talking about him as well. You could feel the chill in the air that filled the space between the two of them as they glared at each other. It wasn’t the way you wanted them to be, you didn’t want things to end up like this between them, especially since they had to continue working together, but it seemed like whenever the two of them were in a room together, the tension was thicker than the air. 

You held your hands up to Han, giving him a reassuring smile to hopefully calm his nerves as you stepped out into the hall, although you knew that as soon as the door shut, Hans ear would be up against it to listen to whatever it was that Minho had to say to you. “You’re doing this to piss me off… Like, this is how you’re getting back at me for what you think I did… right? I mean… You don’t actually like him, do you? You couldn’t… How?” 

Of all the times he had come to visit, you never thought that a potential conversation would be this. “As shocking as this might sound to you… My life didn’t revolve around you, Minho. You were simply a part of my solar system until you decided not to be. I love Hannie… And he’s good to me, he’s happy to be with me, and I’m happy to be with him. If you’re bringing all this stuff back for the sole purpose of trying to interfere in the relationship Han and I have, you’re wasting your time. You’d be better off selling my stuff if that’s your goal.” 

He scoffed quietly, placing your box on the ground as he shook his head, taking a step closer to you and grabbing your hips, his face inches from your own. “So you don’t miss me… You don’t miss what we used to have? You don’t think about me when you’re with him?” His words disgusted you, and you were sure that if Han was listening, he was on the verge of losing his mind, but you gently pushed him away, watching as his arms fell limp as his sides. 

“I don’t think about you… At all anymore. The only person I think about is Hannie, and if you really think that you mean that much to me after what you did, you need a reality check. Thank you for dropping my stuff off, but if you find anything else, don’t bother.” You said firmly, and then the door flew open, and Han stood there with tears in his eyes and a proud smile and he pulled you into his arms, all the while smirking at Lee Know with such pride filled eyes. 

You had never said those kinds of things, not directly to him at least, and while Han knew that you liked him, he didn’t know just how much you liked him, how much you loved him. His heart was soaring above the clouds, and, it was strange, he had never felt like there was much of a competition between him and Lee Know, but right now, it felt like he had won, he had won the battle. “That’s right! She doesn’t think about you anymore! You can leave her alone now!” Han stated far too excitedly as he nuzzled into your neck, earning a look of disgust from Lee Know. “And you can leave too! I’ll see you at work tomorrow though.” 

It was almost comical, how he was able to switch from proud boyfriend to friendly coworker in a split second, and Lee Know simply rolled his eyes, turning away from you and striding off, trying to pretend that his pride hadn’t been shattered and his heart wasn’t breaking into bits.