you feel like summertime

Richie wants to say that she didn’t hurt him, that she never had such a hold on him to do so, but they would both know he’s lying. It’s okay, he also wants to let her know, but then he’d be lying to himself. It isn’t okay. It hurt. She left and it hurt. Richie tries to keep it from showing on his face.

“No need to apologize.” The conversation feels too awkward – a huge difference in what he’s used to when it comes to the woman. Just the sight of her already made him smile and now he’s not sure what to feel. There are too many questions he wants to ask, but he’s not sure if he wants the answer.

Richie doesn’t even know if he has the right to know.

Hand in hers, he feels the warmth on his palm. It fit together so easily and there was a point in his life when he told himself that this is the only hand meant for him to hold. “You want me to stay.” The irony isn’t lost on him. “Of course I’ll stay, Summer. I told you before I’d never leave. That still hasn’t changed.”

“I can never stop apologizing for hurting you, Richie.” Summer isn’t the type of person to go around hurting people for no reason. She has a big heart. When it comes to making difficult choices that effect other peoples lives, she doesn’t take it lightly. In the end she made a choice that worked out better for her in the long run. It wasn’t without mental repercussions. She lost Richie in a way. Still a friend yet never the lover she wanted him to be. In her heart she knew that sacrifices must be made in order to live a better and happier life.

“You’re better than me in that aspect.” She stared at him. Lost and confused as she usually felt when around him. They had their separate lives now. What would they do now that their paths have crossed again? “What are we supposed to do now?”

“You’re dating? Oh tell me everything…and god I wish, sleeping with lots of pretty people, refusing to have emotions and writing at all times of the day. The normal you know?” 

Richie shouldn’t have gone after her. Why should he? He never did before. But he just had to know that this is real, that Summer is there. He spots her by the wall and he instantly feels guilty. 

“A couple weeks ago,” he repeats, visibly upset at the fact that she’s back after leaving him and he’s only finding out through sheer chance. “I don’t hate you. I don’t think I can ever hate you.” And even after everything, the young O’Riley knows it to be true. He’s never once resented Summer for leaving. Was he hurt? Very much so, but he doesn’t blame her.

Everyone leaves in the end.

“You know avoiding problems never work.” He should know. “Do you not want me here right now?” 

Breathe. Summer was good at keeping her cool when she prepared for it. At work she knew what could possibly happen. Here she didn’t. “It doesn’t change the fact that I still hurt you. I’m never going to apologize for leaving. What I will apologize for is hurting you.” One thing that she wouldn’t do is be sorry for putting herself first. More often than not she put others needs above her own. So when it’s time to put focus on her own needs there’s no question. She’ll do it because if she doesn’t it could have long term damage that could be irreparable. 

She reached out and took his hand. “Avoiding problems would imply that you are a problem which isn’t true.” This would be a lot easier if she told him to leave. Maybe they could end it here and never speak to each other again. Total strangers. “I need you to stay.” She flinched at her words. It’s true. Being around Richie the artist was different. He was relaxed and free. That’s the man she met. The one she knew before being exposed to his darkness. After that...it didn’t scare her. It made sense.

“You know, when I said I wanted to spend more time getting to know you, I didn’t mean your insides….at least not these ones.” Jay chuckled as he looked down at her, slinging his back pack from his shoulders the male pulled up her shirt. It wasn’t an ideal place to be performing any type of medical aid, even with the noises around them dying down it wasn’t clean and there was no way of knowing no one was still lurking but he would do his damn best so he could get her back to Richie’s studio where he could get some real work done. “Shit they got you good.” He mused quietly as he nodded to his bag. “I need you to get the white gauze, the orange bottle and a needle and some thread for me okay? I’m going to give you some lose stitches and a covering till I can get somewhere to close you up properly alright?” The gash wasn’t big enough that he was going to need to pack it out so that was something at least. “I’ll just wrap your arm that one should hold fine by itself.” 

“Give it a couple of days. You’ll get to know all sides of me.” She wasn’t joking. Jay had piqued her interest in more ways than one. This wasn’t the time to be flirting. It helped to have a distraction while everything around them went to shit. “It could have been worse.” She searched through his bag for exactly what he needed. The tremble in her hands showed how she truly felt about tonight. Scared. This wasn’t the first time she killed someone. It never sat well with her. Never will. “Here. This is going to hurt like a bitch isn’t it? I’m sure it will feel better than getting cut. Still stitches kind of freak me out.” Summer shut her eyes, she didn’t want to see the process.