the broken bird

     Don’t get her wrong, Calliope cared about some people. Admittedly, not too many of them, but she wasn’t a monster – not really. She had some human qualities, she was able to experience empathy and other things people usually found appealing. Even though there was a role she played, and a beast deep inside her which constantly threatened to spill out of her edges if she pushed too hard, Calliope Hollis was… Fine. She would never consider herself to be mean or cruel, she simply was too analytical about every situation to show affection to everyone. She knew ( or thought she knew ) when a moment called for praise and when she simply had to get things done. This, for example, was one of those times in which she simply had to do the things she was supposed to do. She wasn’t terrible at small talk ( it was a must to be able to have a future in politics ) but this moment simply didn’t call for it, and she had no desire to make this easier for this other chick. Sunny. You’ve got to be shitting me? Did she think she was witty, being happy with that name? ( Calliope hated puns ).

     “Right, yeah,” she simply acknowledged that the brunette had spoken with a vague wave of her hand in the air, as she continued to take eager and sure steps in the direction she was supposed to go. Obviously, asking the other what her task was hadn’t even crossed her mind. There were times to prioritize others and times to be selfish, and this was definitely the time to be selfish. Her feet didn’t stop moving forward at an alarming speed when she turned her head slightly to look back at the other. Oh, right. “The field, I need something from underneath the bleachers,” why she was explaining anything to this stranger was way beyond her, but apparently she was feeling sweet all of a suddent. It didn’t last long ( thankfully ). “Stop mumbling, it’s not very cute,” she added, facing forward once more. They weren’t too far from the pitch, and she knew she’d have this done in no time. And then she’d treat herself to a real party, the one she deserved – with body shots and some hair pulling against a wall. There mere thought made her hint a smile. Ah, yes, she couldn’t wait.

In the face of intimidating people, Sunny shrinks. Someone with more backbone would have snapped at Calliope or at least offered her a decent response, but all Sunny could say was mumble an apology even when she was specifically told not to. Like a turtle retreating to the comfort of its shell, she lagged a few steps behind the other woman with her arms hugging her body to warm it against the cool breeze. She didn’t dare question what they were looking for in the bleachers and why the bleachers exactly, she just followed like she always has. 

She didn’t really know Calliope Hollis, aside from a vague memory of seeing her at student government campaigns. It felt strange, at this moment, to walk with her in an ungodly hour to the bleachers to look for something. The other woman was practically a stranger and a very intimidating one at that, but Sunny has already had a whirlwind of a night. It would be a waste if she stops now. Besides, there was still that matter of her fulfilling her own task. 

By the time they arrived at the bleachers, Sunny turned to Calliope. She opened her  mouth as if to speak, but closed it again, trying to find the proper words to use. She spoke a little louder this time and tried not to mumble, “Should we both look at the same area or should we separate? The bleachers are pretty long. And, u-umm, what are we looking for, exactly?”

WHEN: August 22, 9:00 pm WHERE: Tabitha’s Diner and Bar WHAT: back to school event

The last time she has stepped foot at Tabitha’s was the night of the mixer--memories of which still left a slightly sour taste in her mouth, but she couldn’t allow such a beloved place to be clouded by thoughts of that night. That’s why she came to this year’s back-to-school event, to remind herself of all the reasons was Tabitha’s was one of her favorite places. When she went in, it was loud and filled to the brim with people. Unlike the mixer, however, the air is easy-going and cordial. It was relatively early on in the night, so everyone was still sober for the most part. Sunny even spotted some of her classmates and the few friends she made at the Art department at a small corner at the back of the bar. As she made her way to the back of the room, she ran into a familiar face she hasn’t really encountered since the mixer.

 “Hey, Nadine, how are you?” She greeted the other woman with her usual warm smile. She felt more bonded to her after that night. They might not have had the same tasks and were not partners, but the mere fact that they were both participants of the same strange event bonded them in their complicity.

Christine almost frowned, noticing the other girl’s hesitation. What was the holdup? She was relatively certain she’d made a good impression so far, she’d been complimentary without going so far that she’d seem flattering, she’d given Sunny her full attention and that of quite a few others, she knew for a fact that she didn’t have anything on her face or in her teeth, and she’d taken two breath mints before she’d entered, and not had a thing to eat since. It was a bit frustrating that the other girl still had any reservations about her. 

Did she know the truth? 

However, after a tense moment, Christine got her phone back, and flashed a smile, sending Sunny a text quickly. 

Hi, it’s Christine <3 

She looked up, smiling coolly. “There we go, now you’ve got my information too. I’m thinking we should get two rom-coms and a horror, that’s what I’ve always done. Maybe we can cook something, too. I know a pretty easy recipe for raspberry thumbprints, and those are always fun. The house is pretty small, just a little four-bedroom cottage, but it’s got a nice back deck and a beautiful view.” 

“That sounds wonderful.” A wistful smile appears on her lips as she imagined an easy afternoon at a little hideaway with company as wonderful as Christine. At this moment, it did seem like she had at least gained something wonderful from such an uneasy evening. She saved the other woman’s number in her phone as Christine with the red dancer emoji next to the name. 

-

As much as Eleanor didn’t want to act like she didn’t care about appearances, sometimes she had to play the role of the rebel a little too well. Perhaps it’s cause she understood the implications of her actions depending on where she executed them. For example, eating at an event like this only directed the attention towards being here for food and not for socializing and being a good guest. “I actually ate really well before coming here but I don’t doubt that the food really is delicious.” Eleanor simply kept at her drink, not even eyeing the table and instead focusing her attention on Sunny. 

Oh modesty. Eleanor was an expert at it and she thought it was useful especially in settings like these but she knew better. “You could have worn something different then.” She simply said. Though Eleanor liked to call people out on their bullshit, she wasn’t the right person for it and she’d never admit that. So what if Eleanor merely acted this way to be different and not because she actually believed everything she said? “But if that’s the dress you liked then, so be it. Own it. But at least do something about your face because it shows that it’s ‘a little tight’.” With a shrug, she gave Sunny a sheepish smile.

“Oh, um,” Sunny was rendered speechless by Eleanor’s words. In all honesty, she really could have had a new dress made for the occasion with her family’s wealth and connections, but Sunny didn’t bother. She didn’t want to go through certain lengths explaining and lying what the new dress was for, since she her parents have never known her to be the type to ask for a new dress without sufficient reason. Aside from that, she had put off looking for a new dress, unable to believe that the invitation was even legitimate. In the end, she settled with the custom-made but slightly ill-fitting blush pink number she had made for her father’s fiftieth birthday last year. Besides, Eleanor was right, she did like the dress. 

“Oh, yeah, thanks,” she stood up a trifle straighter and relaxed a bit. It wasn’t just the dress, but also the unease that she felt about the night that gave her such a constricted look. The advice honestly helped, but Sunny wasn’t sure if she wanted to stay for long in the conversation. It was interesting, for a lack of a better term. Sunny blamed the turn-out on her inability to keep up with Eleanor’s wit and did not think she was the right match for it, especially tonight. “Um, in any case, it was a pleasure meeting you, Eleanor. I guess I’ll see around then.” She gave the other woman a small smile, and left the dessert bar to haunt some other unoccupied nook. 

-

Eloisa had to smile. Anyone who appreciated their trivia made it onto Eloisa’s good books. Their facts were so often not appreciated, which seemed odd. It was an opportunity to learn.

The fact there was someone else struggling with the social aspects of this party was a relief. Eloisa could feel the dread slipping from their shoulders as they talked with sunny.

“I also got an invitation. They certainly could have made things clearer. If you don’t mind, how do you know my sister?”

“Oh, she was in some of my gen ed classes last year! She’s really sweet,” Sunny replied cheerily. She cocked her head to observe the other Bisset. Nadine and her sister did not seem to match each other in temperament with Eloisa seeming to have a more formal aura as compared to their sister. 

“She mentioned you a while ago when we met here. It’s great to finally meet you. I hope the society gives us more chances to interact.” These lines were by no means mere courtesy. Sunny really did mean them. She has fond memories of Nadine and hopes that her sibling is cut from the same cloth that she is. 

-

Seeing Sunny so upset was immensely difficult for Piper. She wanted to reach out and try to comfort the girl, but knew that it would be a mistake. She watched as Sunny wiped a tear from her eye. Piper held her arms firmly in place, afraid to move. 

When she said she didn’t want Piper to go, and tried to talk about the party, Piper felt her anger flare up yet again. Why in the world would they small talk about a stupid party where there was so much left unsaid between the two. But, understanding that any more disagreeing would only send Sunny into full body wracking sobs, and not wanting to embarrass her any further, Piper went with the subject change.

“Yeah, the party…uh, it’s fine, I guess. Pretty mild, if you ask me. I’m not used to having to small talk with a bunch of people I don’t know. What do you think of it?”

A relieved sigh left her lips. Sunny’s skill in lying was only, truly applicable to one person--herself. She can fool herself better than she can fool anyone else. If she had to deny or to rationalize to be able to stomach certain encounters, she would. This was no exception. 

We’re okay, she repeated in her head. We’re fine. See? We can talk about normal things, things that don’t necessarily concern our relationship.

“Yeah same, you know me, how I get really awkward around strangers.” An awkward chuckle escaped her lips. She realized she was at a loss for questions. She wanted to be careful. The slightest provocation might send both of them hurtling back into the subject of their relationship. She gave a small unsure smile, and shifted her weight. A tense air seemed to hang between them. “Soo...umm, how are you? Um, when are you, um, moving in the dorms?” She blurted out two questions at once as if making up for the lost time she spent pondering. 

-

Vince let the new information sink in. It wasn’t new per se, he’d heard about a journalist having gone missing at around the same time he was born. It was the sort of tale freshmen were told in their first month, perhaps to frighten them, perhaps for other reasons. He hadn’t concerned himself much with the history of Bonavich, only enough to have been accepted. The fact that he should move up the social ladder in one evening struck him as odd. From the looks of it, he fit right in. He wore a suit, a white tie according to dress code, polished shoes and the glass of champagne felt in his hand as though he’d never held anything else. But Vince could not be any more different from the people present tonight. He felt wrong. 

“Well, I reckon we’ll know soon enough if it was a rumour.”

He took the girl’s - Sunny’s - hand and shook it briefly. “Pleasure.” He said nothing more. A moment or two passed. Nothing happened. The people continued to chat, dance and drink the champagne as if it was water. He cleared his throat, evidently uncomfortable in his shoes. “What do you study?” He asked finally, a very poor attempt at continuing the conversation, more for his own sake than her’s. He blended better if he talked to someone.

A lull came to their conversation. Instead of trying to avoid it, she let herself simmer in that awkward silence--an oddly comforting occurrence during an evening that required her to be more outgoing than usual. After a while, however, the comfort the silence provided faded, and Sunny began to wonder whether she should begin the conversation. Thankfully, he started for her. 

“Art History, how about you?” Her voice was cheery, and she tried her best to sound as accommodating as possible. She felt guilty about thinking this, but there was something different about the man in front of her. He looked visibly uncomfortable in the environment when almost everyone else moved about it with measured ease. She found solace in this, however, in the fact that she wasn’t the only apprehensive one in the whole hall. However, she never really stopped and asked if their reasons for their apprehension were one and the same. 

“I like your suit and it looks great on you, by the way.” The comment seemed out of the blue the moment it left her lips, but it was spoken with honesty. His aura of apprehension fueled her want to make him feel more comfortable because she saw a glimpse of herself in his awkwardness. It was an act done in the spirit of a man helping another get out of a pit they were both stuck in. 

-

“We do,” Nadine agrees. “I’d love to take a picture, maybe once we leave. We probably shouldn’t get a picture in front of the House.” Something tells her the discretion mentioned on the invitation includes posting to social media. Nadine is thankful Sunny’s voice has dropped some, she doesn’t want to attract more attention than they already have. Nadine smiles gently. “Eloisa is pretty exceptional, especially in the world of academics.” Nadine decides not to comment on her own worth, as she’s still not sure why she’s here. “I have no idea what brings us al here. I feel like they’ll tell us eventually. They’ve got to, right?” 

Nadine nods and offers Sunny a sweet smile. “It’s alright, I’m sure you’ll meet more people by the end of the night. By chance, if nothing else.” She tries to make her smile reassuring. She’s not sure how much she succeeds, so Nadine decides to change the subject. “How was your summer? Did you do anything fun and adventurous?” Her tone is light and teasing, attempting to pull Sunny out of her worries and into the present moment. 

“Oh right, of course,” she nodded, remembering the small note written on the  invitation about how the party was to be held in absolute secrecy. She wasn’t going to lie, that small clause in the invitation rang an alarm bell in her head. She quieted it, though, thinking this was only a ploy to increase the society’s air of exclusivity. The conversation pulled her out of her thoughts. “That means that there are two children in the Bisset family who are exceptional at academics then,” She smiled warmly and nodded again at Nadine’s words as if to hide the fact that she had been preoccupied a moment earlier. “Oh, I hope they do tell us. The mystery is honestly worrying me.” 

Nadine’s reassurance did ease her, and she returned the smile with one of her own. Even then, Sunny was glad to change the subject. Her eyes brightened at the question, and she began rambling as usually does when she gets excited, “Oh, it was wonderful! I spent some weeks at New York and then my sister and I went to Korea, just the two of us. It was wonderful. But the best part was definitely the month-long internship at the Louvre. Oh, it was a dream come true, Nadine. I mean, I’ve been there before but to see the process they employ to preserve art was just amazing. I loved it. It was a wonderful summer...,” she trailed off. In her rambling, her mind brushed upon a terrible memory from that summer--one concerning her father. She shut out the uneasiness of the memory, and continued talking to Nadine. “Oh, I’ve been hogging this conversation. How about you? How was your summer?” 

-

Well they certainly didn’t need to dance to have fun. She took a flute of champagne from a passing server and clicked her glass with Sunny’s. She was grateful her hands had something to hold on to for for the moment. Mari was certainly curious a to when they’d be let out of the dark after all this waiting in anticipation. “I’m in International Relations. How about you?”

As she swayed her hips, she kept looking for clues as to why they were here. Sure the people here were either filthy rich or exceptionally smart, but something had to tie them all together. Forcing any semblance of worry from her features, she smiled at Sunny. “Have you been to many parties like this? I sure have had my fill but there’s something different about this one.” Mari did her best to say it as lightly as she could. No need to feed into her own worry. “Nothing a cold glass of champagne can’t remedy,” she said, more to herself and clinked once again clinked her glass with Sunny’s. “Drink up, we are enjoying the festivities after all.”

Hmm, many parties like this. The question lingered in Sunny’s mind for a moment. Certainly, she had been to many parties that resembled this one. The same dazzling lights illuminated the guests’ ballgowns. The same type of alcohol was served on silver platters. Parties of her memory mirrored this one in countenance and yet, they never had the strangeness or mystery of this night. “More or less, I suppose,” she replied with an unsure smile. “Although, there are more strangers here than I’m usually used to and yes, this does have a rather different...air.” 

Her smile grew wider when Mari clinked her glass against her own. Nothing like a toast to celebrate newfound camaraderie. She took a small sip of champagne, knowing full well her limits for consuming alcohol. “Ah, this is good champagne.” Honestly, she wasn’t sure if it was good champagne. The other woman’s seamless ability at easy conversation intimidated her, and Sunny felt that she needed to at least say something to carry her weight at keeping up this dialogue. 

-

It was nice to talk to someone, she had to admit. Sunny was just so cheerful, and it was contagious. It was going to be nice, spending time with her. For now, though, the song was ending, and with it their waltz. “I’m going to make sure it’s the perfect weekend. Drinks, dancing, movies, the works. I promise, you’re going to have the best time you’ve ever imagined, okay?” She stepped back, curtsying as the last strains of melody faded. 

She pulled out her cell phone, passing it over to Sunny, unlocking it and pulling up her contacts. “You just put yourself in there, and I’ll take care of everything. I’m good at planning this kind of thing, you’re in the best hands you could be.” It wasn’t even a lie. She was going to pull out all the stops for this girl, she decided. She wasn’t sure what it was, but she was set on having her for her friend and confidante. Maybe it was her innocence. Maybe it was just that she would be a very nice looking right hand, and Christine knew aesthetics almost as well as she knew performance. Whatever it was, though, she never gave up on a goal once it had been set. 

It wouldn’t be a lie if she said that she was relieved their little waltz had come to an end. Sparkling company as Christine is, Sunny still had a difficult time keeping up with such a skilled dancer, especially in a dress that’s quite tight. When they finished, she offered the other woman a warm smile, happy for the experience nonetheless. Not to mention her offer of a girls’ weekend excited Sunny who was always eager to make a new friend. “That sounds amazing, I can’t wait.”

She was almost ready to type her number in Christine’s phone when she hesitated. She of all people should know the danger in trusting too easily. A terrible thought crossed through her mind--was there an ulterior motive for this? Instantly, she felt guilty and pushed the thought aside. Shouldn’t she know better? Hasn’t she always prided herself for always reserving judgments? But look where that has that gotten her. Experience and philosophy always clashed in her mind. In these minute arguments, philosophy always won. In an act of repentance, she typed in her number almost too eagerly and offered Christine a bright smile.

-

There was something about Sunny faltering–something about her softness–that broke Piper. It was hard to be angry with someone who wouldn’t fight back. When she thought about their last fight, it was Piper seeing red. It was Piper wanting to throw things and shout. But Sunny did not fight back like that. Sunny brought up her disagreements in a quiet manner, which only frustrated Piper more. She didn’t show her emotion like that; good or bad. She was someone who was so blatant about how she felt, feeling her emotions so fully and out loud, but Sunny was like her opposite. 

But opposites attract, right? That’s what she had always told herself any time the two didn’t quite see eye to eye. It was one of the only ways she could get over their disagreements. But now, it seemed silly–a lie she had told herself to keep the relationship afloat.

“Sunny, come on, I don’t–I don’t want to do this here…” Piper said, softly. “People are going to start to notice.” Her heart broke for the girl, and for herself. “Should I just go? Would that be better?”

For the longest time, she turned it over in her mind. What force on earth compelled her to fall in  love with someone like Piper Gray? Sunny would reason and rationalize, think until she can feel her brains dry, but she comes up with no easy answer. If she were brave enough to sum it up in one word, then that word be the unrest. Piper’s chaos was so spontaneous, it became honest. Sunny has never seen anything like this in all of her sheltered life. It charmed her, but eventually, scared her.

“Do-don’t go....please. It’s fine.” Her jaw shook as she said her reply. Hearing Piper’s words and seeing her so beautiful under the blanket of the hall’s lights, Sunny wanted to have the ability to burst into tears. She wanted the same spontaneity of emotion, but she has lived so much of her life in constricting precaution that the wild emotional instinct within her has long been domesticated.

She had to put down the champagne glass she was holding because her hands shook. A tear fell from her eye which she quickly dabbed away as to not mess up her make-up. She looked up, gathering every ounce of courage to meet Piper’s gaze and offered her a weak smile. She cleared her throat with slight difficulty. Her voice was soft, almost a whisper.  “We can talk about other things. Um, ho-how a-are you finding the party?”

-

Small talk. It wasn’t his strong suit. He’d never been the talking kind, period. He had his way with words on paper, an essay flying off of the tip of his fingers like that. But in person, he found it much more difficult to converse, the right words coming to him only after a conversation had ended. But this sort of event asked for pleasantries. “What rumours?” Vince had heard a thing or two about the society as well, but had never spent too much time thinking about them for, until tonight, Lethe was something he thought he would never become a part of. (Not that he had ever wanted to, anyway.) Then, he reminded himself, he wasn’t yet, which brought him to her original query. He’d heard her original question, just hadn’t registered it. “I don’t know what I am,” he said, mostly to himself than her.

He causally cleared his throat. Vince thought it wiser to keep his doubts to himself from now on. He didn’t know who these people were, who this girl was. What made them all so special to be drafted into an elite society, what made him so special? “So, tell me about those rumours.” He prompted her in a way that suggested no ulterior motive. Maybe she knew more than him. Perhaps he should have listened better in the past.

She pouted, unsure. The rumors she’s heard were gruesome, told by some classmate or another that she had when she was still a freshman. The idea of a secret society in the very walls of Bonavich somehow stuck to her through the years, occupying the same space in her mind where campfire tales and ghost stories inhabited. When she received her letter, she was apprehensive, but she convinced herself that the secret society existed under a veil of exaggerations. Still, she wasn’t sure if she should tell her new acquaintance something that was as false as an urban legend. She hesitated for a moment, but decided to speak when he pressed further.

“Oh, it’s quite a popular rumor, actually. I don’t really remember the details, but it involved a journalist, I think, or was it a filmmaker? I’m not sure and some lost files, you know, the works. Besides, it was a silly rumor and it couldn’t be this society, I suppose.” Her nervous rambling came to a halt with an unsure chuckle. 

Remembering that both of them hadn’t introduced each other yet, she offered her outstretched hand and a warm smile.“I’m Sunny, by the way. Sunny Hwang. It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

-

She wasn’t foreign to secret societies. Her parents and other relatives seemed to live that high and mighty lifestyle.But something about the vibe she was getting from standing here seemed quite off. She couldn’t place what it was so she shrugged off the looming worry from her features. “You’ll learn your way around secrets in no time, we are in college in after all.” Everybody here had their secrets and while she wasn’t itching to pry them from their owners, she couldn’t help but be curious. 

Compliments didn’t faze Mari but she knew how to appreciate them. “Thank you. I spent quite an ordeal looking for a dress like this but nobody really cares about that so long as you look the part.” As for theories on how the night will go, well she had several outlandish ones but weren’t really worth voicing out at the moment. “Seeing as how everything is dripping in opulence, this may as well be a secret society for the stinking rich to parade their wealth in ballrooms like this.” Her voice sounded a little more menacing that she meant for them to. Memories of parties like this flashed through her mind but she shut them down with practiced ease. “We’ll find out any minute now,” she said with a much lighter tone. “We should enjoy the festivities while we still can. What do you say?”

Sunny frowned at the remark. She has never been good with secrets or more accurately, she’s never been comfortable with keeping them. White lies she can stomach, but anything darker leaves a terrible taste in her mouth much akin to acid. “I suppose.” She’d rather not disagree with Mari on the matter, however. 

At the mention of the stinking rich and their excess, she craned her neck to look around the ballroom, and indeed, Mari was not wrong. Another frown crossed her lips. Sunny had a complicated relationship with wealth. It was part of who she is. While her kindness and her patience are remarkable, they are things that came out of wanting for nothing. Even then, she isn’t sure if she wants the wealth. She isn’t sure if it’s fair. If anything, she’s sure that she doesn’t want to be in a society that recruited her solely because of her economic status. 

“Umm, yes! I’m not really much of a dancer though,” she smiled at the other woman weakly, pushing her thoughts and confusion to the back of her mind. She took a sip of champagne and lightly swayed her body in a feeble attempt to dance. “So, umm, Mari, what’s your major?” She chided herself for sounding like some idiot at a house party, but that’s the best question she’s got.