WAWA

A lot of weird things seemed to happen in your group of friends. Being friends with five guys and a dog who were all actively being chased down by an evil, resentful vampire that was over a hundred definitely has given you many stories to tell at your next family reunion. And of course, being so close to them all has brought you other things as well- such as a lovely boyfriend named Jean Pierre Polnareff, the arguably most obnoxious (and flirtatious) one of the group. He was always getting into ridiculous situations, more than anyone else… and well, something about that seemed to charm you enough into a relationship with this goofy man. However, since you were always with him, you were automatically roped into whatever nonsense he was getting into- whether on accident or on purpose. Today was one of those days … where it seemed like the whole world was up against just the two of you.

The seven of you always stayed in a hotel of sorts on your travels, and those hotels also seemed to be the places in which you ran into many a stand user. You and Polnareff shared a room of course, not only was it cheaper that way, but you got to spend much needed time together. You woke up early in the morning as usual, next to your loudly snoring boyfriend. You started your regular routine, staring at the wall for a couple seconds before actually standing up. You padded your way over to the bathroom, the floor creaking a little louder than usual- but nothing worrying. And god, you had to pee so bad. Like, really bad. You went into the bathroom and unzipped your pants, catching a brief glance at yourself in the mirror- your beautiful white hair and large muscular frame looking back at you.

Hold on.

Your what?!

Your… white hair… and large muscular frame…

You look back into the mirror, but you don’t see yourself- not even close. In fact, Polnareff is staring back at you.

“This HAS to be a dream,” You think to yourself, eyes widening. You put your hands on your face, feeling it just to make sure. But it felt very, VERY real. This was no dream.

You look down. The unzipping of the pants should have been your first clue. You don’t wear jeans to bed (you have no idea why he was wearing them last night either). You groan, running your fingers through your new hair, wondering what on earth could possibly be going on right now. It was probably the work of an enemy stand user nearby.

You pace around the bathroom for a few minutes, wondering what you were going to do when Jean woke up, what you’d do if any one of your friends came in here, and how on earth you were going to pee, because you don’t NORMALLY have…

Well, you know. One of … those.

You thought to yourself about waking Polnareff up, but you didn’t want to startle him or anyone else that was in the hotel. You decide that maybe Mr. Joestar would have an idea of what was going on, and maybe he was in a similar situation.

Before you leave your hotel room, you fix your hair as much as you could (because you have no idea how Polnareff makes it stand up like that) and get dressed in his usual outfit. When you walk to the door, you see yourself laying in bed still, breathing and sleeping soundly. Your heart (well, Polnareff’s heart) starts racing slightly.

YOU HAD TO GET OUT OF THIS BODY. AS SOON AS POSSIBLE.

Oh, and also, you still have to pee.

Mr. Joestar across the hall was, unfortunately to you, not having the same issue. He had just woken up, and was just barely dressed before he heard your knocking.

“Huh? Who could that be so early? Maybe it’s the housekeeping,” He grumbles to himself, walking over to the door and looking out the little keyhole. What he saw was a little unusual. Polnareff with his hair down, looking quite … nervous? Polnareff, nervous? Something was definitely wrong. He opens the door and looks at you with a rather … irritated frown.

“Polnareff, what do you want? It’s too early to get a cigarette.”

You push past Joseph, letting yourself in. Before he can protest, you slam the door and stand against it.

“Polnareff, just what the hell is going on here? Why are you acting like this?” He exclaims, more confused than ever. You were more nervous than ever to start speaking… hearing Pol’s voice with your thoughts was going to be so weird.

“Um…” You shudder a little at the sound of his voice. “Mr. Joestar, it’s … uh. It’s me. I don’t know how, but I, uh, must have swapped bodies with Jean somehow… god, this is so weird… I was wondering if you knew why or maybe had swapped with someone too.”

Joseph’s eyes widen. He then bursts out into laughter, louder than you had ever heard him laugh on your journey yet.

“I knew something was wrong with you. This must be the work of an enemy stand user. Has Polnareff woken up?” Joseph questions, wiping the tears from his eyes. He was pissing you off.

“No, he hasn’t woken up. I’m a little worried as to what’s gonna happen when he does, though,” You explain. Just then, a loud woman’s scream echoes from across the hall.

“Ah. I suppose that’s him, then?” Joseph says, raising an eyebrow.

You facepalm, and nod in disappointment. “I better get over there and … uh, figure it out. You can tell the others when they wake up… This sucks so bad, Mr. Joestar.”

Joseph chuckles to himself. “It’ll be fine. We’ll find the stand user in no time, and have this all reversed. Go tell Polanreff to calm the hell down, we can’t get kicked out of ANOTHER hotel.”

You giggle, leaving Joseph’s room. As you make your way down the hallway back to your own room, you can only imagine how Polnareff found out about this- the thought makes you laugh. You knock on the door. Of COURSE he didn’t have the key to the room in his pocket.

“GO AWAY!” You hear from the other side. “I’M… UH… VERY BUSY RIGHT NOW…” Your own voice yells back to you.

“Polnareff! Open the door. It’s me, you dumbass!” You call from the outside, knocking on the door again.

A few moments later, the door opens up. It’s you! Sort of. You look down at your body. Your arms are crossed, your face is all flushed… Polnareff does not seem to be having the best time in your body.

“What the hell is going on here?!” He exclaims, pulling you inside. “Why am I… YOU!?”

You put your hand on the back of your neck. “I don’t really know, Jean. I woke up like this.”

“WELL WE CAN’T STAY THIS WAY!!!! How did this happen!??! Was it a stand user?!?! Is anyone else affected like this?? God, I miss my beautiful luscious hair and my big strong pecs!!!! I miss my sweet voice and my face and my shoulders….” He rambles, whining and pouting the entire time.

“Well whining about it isn’t going to make it any better, Jean!! We have to suck it up and stay like this until we defeat the stand user!” You firmly say, putting your hands on his shoulders. You shudder a little hearing your voice so shrilly. “Stop using my voice like that.”

Polnareff rolls his eyes. “I can’t believe this… what if we’re stuck like this forever? How are we even going to find the stand user?!” He whines. You couldn’t help but wonder if he was normally this pathetic.

Just then, a knock on the door. You felt an intense presence outside, you thought it might have been Jotaro or Mr. Joestar again… But upon opening the door, it wasn’t either of them.

A sweet looking lady stands in front of you two, but she had something quite … sinister to her. You couldn’t place your finger on it, but you looked at Polnareff in hopes he felt the same thing as you.

But unfortunately, once an idiot- always an idiot.

“I think it’s the cleaning lady,” He leans over to whisper to you. The lady nods with a smile so wide, you think you might be going insane for thinking that it’s fake.

“Yes, that’s me! I’m here to clean the room, whenever you two are ready,” She exclaimed. She had a cart full of supplies and fresh sheets and towels. Just a typical worker at the hotel.

Until you could’ve sworn you saw a rat tail peeking out of her hair.