Vivian Sunlight

I was showing my dad my game disc collection and explaining what levels of ownership each kind of disc entitles you to an I felt like such a tech pervert describing every single feature of a fucking blu-ray

Was singing cheesy michael to myself as voice training and on the third run I heard a bang in the back of my house, dark michael is back.

Today marks the one year anniversary of me acquiring HRT! I almost died without it, but I didn't, and now I'm stuck here forever!

Watching Ranma 1/2 why does being turned into a woman give him perfect eyeshadow. Did the legend of the girl who drowned specify she was absolutely slaying when it happened.

You know what fuck it, if no one else will I'LL declare war on the United States of America.

If I'm getting ready for bed and my boyfriend walks in with $50 Linus Tech Tips brand underwear I'm charbroiling his ass with my psychic powers

Dreamt there was a giant cloud of darkness called The Looming Dread destroying major cities and everybody was freaking the fuck out and praying to god to fix it. Smiling Friends did a special where Pim and Charlie were encouraging the real life public to pray to god but Alan came in and said "I love The Looming Dread, I think it's funny. It's the loomingest dread to ever loom." but then Mr. Boss put his hand up like he was using the force and Alan faded out of existence while screaming about how he was scared to die.

Need to get me a house with a razor hole

I've got a guy in my town that looks EXACTLY like John Fetterman, basketball shorts and all. There's also an Elvis clone that never drops the act.

So my old ass dad lies like hell telling stories about his life (movie clips where he's the hotshot protagonist) and the other day I caught a continuity error and pointed it out to him, he said he'd worked on the family farm when I knew for a fact the farm didn't even exist when he was alive. I hope he digs further into the past, tell me how you flirted with Marilyn Monroe, tell me how you debated Karl Marx. Tell me about the primordial soup.

Look I'm not a puritan or anything like that but we NEED to start regulating sex shop sponsorships. I'm tired of watching true crime podcasts only for the host to randomly start talking about how she loves jorking it with her monthly vibrator subscription box. Fuck sex positivity I'm sex negative now.