ok alright. i am finally posting ✨where there's smoke✨ my inquisition au fic! newest chapter is here!
the premise, in short:
what if, after anders was notably an apostate who blew up a chantry building and killed a chantry leader... people are not particularly stoked when this happens again. except even more destructively. and this time with a Heathen Elf™️ found at the scene.
so, instead of seeing the prisoner as any sort of positive religious omen, (most of) the people in haven instead see her as a dangerous criminal, and react accordingly. and this starts to cause further problems. solavellan is also there eventually.
the premise, in long:
what if the tranquil didn't just all get turned into oculara offscreen, and actually were part of the plot.
what if anders and kirkwall haunted the narrative a bit more.
what if, a dalish elf who suddenly wakes up in chantry custody for a mass murder... assumes any personal information shared will lead to providing a target for an exalted march. and therefore doesn't share any. which only looks more suspicious lmao.
what if the dalish/city elf stuff was not written in a way that i personally found very stupid (it will at least, be stupid in a new, different way! diversity win <3)
[holds up incredibly minor npcs] "i just think they're neat"
what if leliana's rose vision and general heretical tendencies went somewhere. i think she can have a little a chantry schism, as a treat.
what kind of weird person would be like "hm yes. i love to wander around. as a visibly dalish apostate. all by myself :^)" and, what reasons might they have for going to the conclave directly, when it's literally Templar Central. here's her character tag uwu.
also i retconned some aspects of vg lore when i felt like it. didn't make sense and doesn't compel me! the elves don't need white guilt! solas cannot be arlathan's most special, invaluable, genius military mastermind, who singlehandedly won the titan war, and invented tranquility, the blight, eluvians, and sliced bread - then was still mythal's yappy lapdog who got laughed at in meetings afterwards. that is just contradictory fhdghfkdh.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality✓ Free Actions
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
there is no downside to voting for Count Binface. its not taking away from other candidates bcos they aren't any and the more votes he gets the stupider Farage looks.
Nigel Farage is the leader of Reform UK, a far right party who are currently in the process of a serious bid to become the UK government. they are just straight up evil.
Count Binface is an intergalactic space warrior with a bin on his head. he likes to run as a novelty candidate in general and mayoral elections. a big thing he likes to do is run as a candidate against the incumbent prime minister:
(Also pictured: Boris Johnson, Elmo)
Anyway, in brief:
Nigel Farage is currently in the midst of a big scandal about his finances
He has decided to deal with this by 1) making a show of nobly resigning from parliament and then 2) immediately running in the resulting by-election
He has stated that he is letting 'the people' judge his actions and implied that if he wins that will prove that he has been exonerated in the court of public opinion
His goal was presumably to get a big resounding win over the other parties, proving that The People still love him.
the other parties have thus far decided that this is a 'vanity election' and, well, there is one very easy way to ensure that he will not beat any of them, and that is simply not to play.
and as a result the only person who has so far confirmed they are running against him is Count Binface. no matter the outcome this makes Nigel Farage look like, u know, a fucking clown.
I've seen some people saying he would have to give up his title but it would seem that is no longer the case as of 1999; so, no, he can keep his ceremonial bin if he wishes.
Important to note also that Count Binface is the alter ego of comedian & political satirist Jon Harvey who seems to be an intelligent individual with reasonable politics. As I said no real downside.
occasionally i see some fandom drama that is so extravagant that it includes people like.... spending thousands of dollars on Blorbo and getting tons of people involved in mass campaigns
and i uncharitably think, damn if only i could get people that excited about bds lmao
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality✓ Free Actions
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
i understand the term “hetslop” and think it has its place. however i feel as though the majority of the time i see it used it just feels like repackaged misogyny. no i will not be elaborating.
takes a real artist to go "i have to deface this billboard promoting an evil corporation's evil product. but crucially☝️the typeface and kerning must match or else it's cringe"
If you make it look official, people will leave it up. I knew someone who replaced all the motivational posters at work with 'demotivation' versions and corp didnt notice for like 2 years.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality✓ Free Actions
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
like yeah i have encountered people online who think their ocs who exist in a contextless bubble deserve the same reverence as fully realized characters, and that mentality is annoying, but i don't actually think the end goal of all art is to became a webcomic, i think it's a perfectly fine if people want to flex their creative muscle by creating funky character designs with wacky backstories just for the joy of creation itself, like you don't have to be personally invested in it, but it's a bizarre way to moralize art especially coming from a group of people who otherwise seem to be against that?
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality✓ Free Actions
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
Same anon, you’re absolutely right, the writers couldn’t even think of ways to villainise him, maybe because their idea of really bad villains are podcasters and the evil orange man etc. Didn’t the creative director say “it’s impossible to write fictional villains because real life has way too many and it’s not escapism anymore. -.-‘
Veilguard doesn’t even really address the fact Solas gave the orb to Corphyeus which resulted in the Chantry blowing up, a lot of ppl died and one random bystander got the anchor and became head of the Inquisition. He came and helped but ultimately there is a reason to say “he’s villainous” and it blows my mind because that’s a pretty big deal. Instead we got Solas is bad because he is gonna tear down the Veil and he started a rebellion and hurt a lot of people, oh and Rook says so.
The Veilguard writers also said “ Solas was evil because he didn’t just do the right thing and have free and fair elections for all. And put it to a vote who wants slavery and who doesn’t. And maybe have another vote asking do they want to be ruled by the Evanuris.” Because they never read a history book in their entire lives apparently. ;_;
Felassan is weird to me, because as far back as in Masked Empire (written by Weekes), he seemed so callus? O.o Like with what happened to the Dalish clan and Imshael. And then his character in Veilguard being the “voice of reason” while he agrees with what Solas is doing but “not that way” it’s very messy.
haha YEAH. they said something like "real fascists aren't nuanced, that's why i don't write the villains as nuanced". which is so cool. it's great to have ostensible leftists thinking this way <3 never think about why fascism occurs or whether Good Smart People might be susceptible to a harmful ideology <3
i think it's funny that the game basically takes the stance of... solas is Bad, for doing stuff that was either not fully of his own volition, or was entirely selfless and meant to help other people, or was just a neutral self-preservation act
so he's bad for:
Existing Evilly Through Blood Theft Due To Elf Sins (💀) when mythal asked him to. smh, elves should just stop existing and the problem is solved 🙄
following orders and making the dagger when he was her servant(?) slave(??) (unclear but vital detail lmao?)
deserting mythal's service and rebelling against slavery to try and help people. and he wasn't peacefully voting for change instead :/
trying to stop the blight, and sacrificing his civilization to preserve the world's general habitability
waking up and trying to stop the blight (again) when it's unavoidably about to pour out and the veil is already collapsing by dai era
escaping the 24/7 torture chamber regret jail after being locked in it. smh, just stay in there indefinitely while elgar'nan gives people sunburn and rook airbnb's his house 🙄
but then his actual terrible deeds that he had full control of his actions for, and were not for the Greater Good to save lives?
getting thousands of people killed by the breach and corypheus, due to his Whoopsie Daisy Plan. and ruining the inq's life afterwards
executing felassan without even letting him finish his last words
hanging out and seeming friendly with people for weeks or months(?) while still seeing them as half-alive husks, then lying to them nonstop even afterwards
being very racist to every race including his own
8 day breakup journey for lavellan and then ghosting them
tells dorian to dedicate his life to becoming an abolitionist, then goes "uwu sorry i'm ending the world btw <3". dorian should hit him with hammers actually
luring the inq through 27 mirror combat levels while they believe they're terminally ill, and then taking off the arm and saving their life. he could've actually just broken into skyhold or caught them somewhere while traveling, and done this more humanely without severe psychological trauma to them
there's no acknowledgement of those, or any indication that solas registered what he did and wants to make amends. he goes to eternal jail for stuff that was not actually a problem, and lavellan can meekly follow him in like a consolation prize lmao :')
