sunflower

Drunk people are extremely annoying, unless you’re also drunk. (source)

The fatter you are the higher the chance you get picked on spin the bottle

You’re the last person that dies in your lifetime

Telling children that you won’t get mad if they tell the truth and then getting mad about it will turn them into massive liars in the future

If dragonflies were 10x bigger they would be absolutely terrifying

When we were young we always wanted to push our curfew to as late as possible, but once we grow up when we return home we just want to instantly fall asleep.

Almost every hand you have ever shook has had a dick in it at some point in time

Child birth must have been incredibly easy for Elastagirl

Saying 1,2,3 is the same as saying 1 to 3.

You cook bacon but you bake cookies.

Sleep is your body having had enough of you and wanting some time alone.

because atoms are 99.99999999999% empty space, humans are technically just really shitty ghosts that can’t pass through walls and have to eat

Seeing a person reading your favorite book is seeing a book recommending a person

If all of us planted just one tree in our lifetimes, earth would be greener by 7 billion trees

If 99% people find you unattractive then 75,000,000 on Earth people still find you attractive

If pigs could fly, bacon will be way more expensive