MULTIMUSE

Carver wasn't involved with his siblings' magic lessons and was left behind, excluded from Hawke and Bethany while they both had something that strengthened their bond to their father. He always had to work twice as hard or speak twice as loud to receive any attention or recognition at all (including running away to join the army as a teenager, which Hawke and Bethany can talk about in Legacy).

And I think this is why Carver "have we met a Templar that isn't a colossal prig?" Hawke started to consider the idea of becoming a Templar as an option where it previously wasn't one - his namesake. Malcolm named Carver after the Templar that allowed him to be free and Carver took that to heart. He finally had a connection to his father after feeling for so long that he was unloved by him. Carver's idealistic nature and this newfound connection made him think that maybe he could live up to his namesake and make things better on the inside (not understanding that one good Templar can't fix a corrupt system).

But not only that, but he was essentially groomed to fit the Templar role for his family. Not a sibling, not a son, but their shield. And that's why I believe he had a disdain for magic. Not because he hated mages or believed they were evil or necessarily even jealousy for their abilities (he even says that he never understood why people were afraid of magic and knows not every mage is evil), but because his lack of magic is why he was emotionally neglected and made him feel unloved.

this post made me think of this dialogue from the legacy DLC, if it’s hard to read it says

“That which is best in me.” Father used to say that, didn’t he? To you and Bethany?

because I always kind of think imagine hearing your father tell your siblings they represent the best in him and knowing you’re not part of that. Especially when so much of what Carver says and does is about caring about and protecting his family, he loves his family, but he’s told his siblings are the best part of his father and for a reason he can’t ever share because he’s different to them :(

She never felt like she could live up to him.

Strong and strapping, Carver is a skilled warrior set on proving himself, although it's not always clear who he is trying to impress. The son and sibling of mages, he grew up surrounded by magic he couldn't truly understand—and he feels like something was expected that he could never deliver. He cares deeply for his family, but sometimes feels like the stupidest person in the room.

I'd say this pain even goes deeper than people - including Carver - realise. I'm going to be speaking from my own experience with depression and how I interpreted these next bits, so here's a trigger warning for suicidality.

In Carver's want to feel appreciated and that he's worth something, his fierce loyalty to his family, in my opinion, is quite self-destructive. He will push and push with no regard for personal safety, and perhaps even believes that if he dies for a righteous cause, maybe then he will be loved and appreciated.

In World of Thedas Volume 2, there is an entry talking about Carver's time at Ostagar. His fierce devotion to his family especially is what had him enlist in the first place. It talks about how his lack of regard for his own safety as well as trauma from the battle left him in tears and almost killed, had it not been for fellow soldiers stopping him from what was essentially suicide.

The more ground we lost, the harder he swung that plank of a sword of his. He was shouting that we had to win, that it was to keep our homes safe. I swear he was crying when we finally tackled him, but damned if I'll hold that against him. It took three of us to drag him to cover. I had to slap him back to his senses, to make him see that killing five or ten 'spawn wouldn't matter. The wall was on is, and dying there wasn't going to help anyone. I said if he wanted to do his family good, he's get them safe. This wasn't his failure, because it sure as shit wasn't mine either. We fought our way out and went our separate ways.

If he survives, his codex even says that he knows that he had to flee Ostagar, but that part of him wishes he'd fought and died there. Which... to me doesn't sound like someone who puts much value on his life.

While he knows that swift flight was the only reasonable course in the face of the darkspawn advance, he almost would rather have stood and fought. Doomed though the effort was, facing the horde had purpose—something Carver had been searching for.

And if he dies in Lothering, his codex is also quite... concerning. Furthering the point of overcompensating to the point of killing himself to feel like he's worth something.

But even as Carver groused about his lot, he remained dedicated to protecting those he loved. He didn't think twice about sacrificing himself to save his mother during the flight from the darkspawn, and although Carver struggled to find his way in life, there is gratification in knowing his death had purpose.

And the shocking realisation I had is that if he dies, Hawke remarks that Carver died a hero, but if he lives, Hawke calls Carver a brat and criticises him for being understandably traumatised by the blight. The fact that he was more appreciated in death than in life really broke my heart, tbh.

BEING LEFT ❛  wait! you can't just leave me here alone!  ❜ ❛  i don't know how to live in a world where i'm all alone.  ❜ ❛  everyone i've ever loved has either left or died.  ❜ ❛  i'm not yet ready for it to end.  ❜ ❛  will we ever see each other again?  ❜ ❛  please! you promised! you promised you'd never leave.  ❜ ❛  if you leave now, i'll never forgive you.  ❜ ❛  are you really going to leave after everything we've been through?  ❜ ❛  how am i supposed to keep on like before when you're not here anymore?  ❜ ❛  i knew this day would come, but i hoped it wouldn't be today.  ❜ ❛  please don't go. not yet. just stay a little longer ...  ❜ ❛  don't just walk away. say something, anything, before you go.  ❜ ❛  so that's it? you're just ... gone?  ❜ ❛  you can't just walk away like none of this meant anything!  ❜ ❛  why does everyone i love always leave?  ❜ ❛  i should've known better than to think you'd stay.  ❜ ❛  is it really that easy for you to walk away?  ❜ ❛  you said we'd face the world together. now i have to face it alone.  ❜ ❛  if you're going, at least look me in the eyes and say goodbye.  ❜ ❛  i don't have the strength to watch you walk away again.  ❜

LEAVING ❛  i'm sorry, but i cannot stay here any longer.  ❜ ❛  for once, i'm trying to do the right thing.  ❜ ❛  you don't need me here anymore. you've always been stronger on your own.  ❜ ❛  i wish staying was enough. i really do.  ❜ ❛  don't look at me like that. if i don't walk away now, i never will.  ❜ ❛  one day, you'll understand why i have to walk away.  ❜ ❛  i wish i could stay, but this isn't my place anymore.  ❜ ❛  don't wait for me. i don't know when ... if i'll be back.  ❜ ❛  i wish there was another way. but there isn't.  ❜ ❛  this isn't goodbye because i don't care. it's because i do. too much.  ❜ ❛  this goodbye is the hardest thing i've ever had to do.  ❜ ❛  i'm leaving because i love you too much to keep hurting you.  ❜ ❛  i'm sorry i couldn't be what you needed me to be.  ❜ ❛  i have to go find who i am without all this.  ❜ ❛  just because i'm leaving doesn't mean i stopped caring.  ❜ ❛  i'm not running. i'm just done waiting.  ❜ ❛  every step i take away from here is breaking me.  ❜ ❛  i can't keep pretending this place feels like home.  ❜ ❛  the hardest part isn't leaving. it's knowing you'll be here when i'm not.  ❜ ❛  sometimes goodybe is the kindest thing we can say.  ❜