Not so silent

➸ CHAPTER  19 -  Past, present...

“Joon, please stop this nonsense and tell us what’s happening. We are about to have a heart attack,” Yoongi protested, exasperated.

“Dr. Jung... Dr. Jung is Hoseok’s father.”

“Jung? Doctor Jung of our university?” the oldest asked, confused.

“Yes, that one.”

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➸ CHAPTER  18 -  Unexpected help

He kept the phone glued to his ear even though the call was over. His body was still in the same position, resting on his left shoulder against the wall. He took the index finger between the nose and upper lip and continued to ponder the situation. It had probably been a very bad idea, but if this was what he had to do for Jungkook and his honor, then he would do it.

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Lately, it felt hard to feel where I belong to. I felt it both online and "irl". I'm 26 now (and oh God, how ugly this looks) and I'm still as lost and out of place as I was years ago.

Now I'm writing this because of Twitter, because I feel I can't express myself there, in any of my 2923 accounts, but it happens the same with Instagram. I feel dumb posting whatever I want to say, if it's about the hard parts of the days I think like "who wants to heard this? Nobody cares if you felt like this", if I want to post about positive things, that other moment that surprised me or whatever I just kept wondering "Why would anybody want to see/read about your insignificance? Why would anybody want to know about your stupid life?"

Maybe it's because people always interrupted me while speaking, made me feel unimportant or told me my worries were stupid that I'm here now. I guess it's just in my head and I can use my spaces to talk about whatever, but when I do I receive nothing or "education". Sometimes I don't want your advice, actually most of the times I take the step of writing what I feel I just want to let it out and maybe get an "I feel you" comment.

I don't know why those responses as well as the lack of response at all upsets me so much. Why do I care about "talking to the void" as if I was the only one dealing poorly with the stupid algorithms of these webs/apps... I don't know why, but I feel sad. Maybe I do... but I feel sad anyway.

I feel I'm always restraining myself when I talk about everything, when I talk about my life, when I try to live my own life. I guess that's why I feel so out of place when I log out and try to "live" because I can't say what I want to say, I'm not heard, not seen. Or at least I feel like that.

I'm starting to wonder why the fuck I'm writing this or who will care about it. Maybe nobody, and that's ok too.

➸ CHAPTER  17 -  Frozen time

The scene happened in a violent and slow pace at the same time, as if in fits and starts, as if watching a film that lacked frames and the images in between were long breaks in black. His heart was beating fast in his chest, waiting for no answer, the final blow, confirmation, the last farewell. He didn’t know. The possibilities greeted each other giddy inside his head. While, outside, the day was still as gray, as languid, as sad as ever. Thus would be every day now without Mein Traum and probably without Jungkook either.

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➸ CHAPTER  16 -  Sadness, hopelessness and abandonment

Time stopped for a few moments and then the whole room began to spin. His hands started to sweat. And his temples. A chill ran through his body. His vision blurred at the edges. The notebook in his hands was red. And he felt like bleeding inside. It wasn’t Mein Traum.

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Trigger warnings: anxiety / panic attacks 

➸ CHAPTER  15 - No characters nor books, just you and me 

“I’m opening my heart to you, no books, no metaphors. I’ve let you in even though I’m too scared and now... I can only trust you.”

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He sighed and laid his clothes on the sink ledge, opened one of the cupboards, took the shampoo and crouched behind the head of the bath to lather the hair of the youngest.

“I hope this doesn’t bother you…”

During the past days we learned a bit about Jimin, Yoongi, Seokjin, Namjoon, Jungkook, Taehyung, Hoseok, Daehoon, Misuk and Hana’s aesthetics and personalities. Today I’m presenting you a little more info about all of them 

This is the last set of moodboards. Let’s (re)discover our last characters.

Daehoon

He’s always ready to listen. He will quietly get you another cup of coffee while he listens to whatever you need to say

He was like that back then, when he was still attending university ... and considering that, it makes sense that he's so good at his job in the Black Swan.

Sometimes you may believe that he’s not paying attention and he’s thinking about his own plans, but, actually, he’s always doing both.

Hana and Misuk

They live together, work together and spend 99% of their time together. They thought they would be tired of each other at this point, but surprisingly they aren’t. They make it work very well, as they share lots of interests like second hand stores and books, preparing breakfast while dissing their noisy neighborhoods and ranting about the ugly uniforms that they have to wear at the Black Swan. 

For this second batch we’ll discover the pastel goth group. 

Jeon Jungkook

He likes to be soft, but not too much. He’s like a small pink cupcake, but the cherry is actually a bomb. Does this sound cringe? He doesn’t care! And do you know what he doesn’t care about either? Genders! Fuck genders, man, and fuck whoever said that he can’t wear pretty things. 

Yeah... Jungkook usually has a short fuse, but what about it. 

Jung Hoseok

Hoseok also likes cute things, sweet smoothies, flowery print, soft plushies, but what he likes the most is music. Letting himself float around the notes and get lost in them. Specially that. Blasting the music so loud that he can’t hear himself. 

But you could say that when the speakers are turned off he feels too much. Loves too much, loves too strong.

Kim Taehyung

He lives for the art. It doesn’t matter what kind of art, but he loves the “visual ones” the most. He loves doing artistic makeups on Jungkook, painting landscapes and flowers and taking pictures of the night sky. 

Hello, as promised, I’ll be dropping extra content of IILYWBIIOY as we get ready for the new chapter. 

Today, we start with Jimin, Yoongi, Seokjin and Namjoon

Park Jimin

He pours his heart through the ink to his dear notebook Mein Traum. He likes solitude, calm and art. He used to enjoy seeing the rain through the windows of his house and get inspired by the forms and paths that the raindrops drew on the glass. 

He likes vintage things as they are known and familiar. He doesn’t like change and the “fast life”. His only wish is being peaceful. 

However, the tick-tock of the clock is always there, reminding him what he lost, what he misses, what he didn’t do because he was afraid. Thus, as he can’t take back time, he’ll trust his hunches this time, let himself be freer for a night.  

Min Yoongi

He reads about love, listen to music about love, writes about love, and even tried to compose music about love. However, he doesn’t believe in love. At least not that kind of love. He believes in the love he has for his friends, his hyung, and that’s all. He believes in the love that has never betrayed him, but can’t believe in the other love. 

Kim Seokjin

Life is hard. Yes, it is. Why would he lie? But why would he think about it either? Because, actually, life is hard only if you stop and think about it, but why would you? 

Life is hard. 

But it can also be bright as a chandelier, exciting as a good chess game, beautiful as Marylin, bubbly as a sip of his favorite champagne. Or maybe it can’t, but why would he think about it? 

Kim Namjoon

There is something about schedules, about the shape of a book, about the columns of an ancient building that feels inspiring, that feels like home. 

It's not personal but kinda random