icarus falling

“lovely to meet you too, james.” she said a little dumbly. the more he spoke of his lady, the most pieces started clicking into place. yes, she wrote to a lot of people. but they all describe the people they were infatuated witha  little differently, and she knew exactly who she was talking to. 

“i’d say we agree on a lot of things, ms. hurtz and i,” she said with a small smile, although it was nonchalant. she had never been one to play things cool, she’d admit. grizel had spent her whole life not playing it cool. “there is nothing that makes a man more foolish than a beautiful woman, i suppose. though, i don’t think they need the help, even if they do seem to be level headed like yourself.”

“There are worse people to find yourself agreeing with,” James said brightly. He had felt that Ms. Hurtz was a sharp lady long before he started writing into her column., and he couldn’t help but find the woman in front of him agreeable for her shared good opinion of the writer. 

The two of them had never disagreed on anything. It was one of the things that solidified their friendship with James. Sirius spent years conflicting with everyone around them; believed that was all there was to life. So, the fact they had met someone who constantly understood what they meant, who brought something out of them the longer they spent time together, completely re-contextualized  what it meant to have a family. What it meant to have a brother.

So, he couldn’t understand why James suddenly wanted to test if that was true.

“I was thinking that we made the break in actually worth something. Nothing we say or do will matter if we don’t have physical proof to back us up.” Sirius could tell that James was trying not to yell at them, the feeling was mutual. It was not as if they were suggesting that the marauders should use it to hold someone at knife point,  the act of taking it alone was child’s play compared to what other people got around to. If it wasn’t them, someone else would have done it. Then it would all have been for nothing. “Come on, James. We want to be taken seriously, right? This is how we do it.”

There was a new level of concern forming within James’s gut for his friend. He didn’t think they realized the implications of stealing the knife and the impact it could have on the four of them. Breaking into the precinct was well-there was no way to prove that, no way to place the four of them in those walls.

Except for the god forsaken knife that know linked them to the crime scene.

James really fucking hated that knife.

“The break in was worth it because we gained knowledge,” James growled, frustrated with Sirius. “We gained information we could use as a bargaining chip-fuck, we could have gotten one of the Prewetts to break in and steal the knife to find out, could have taken out one of them if they got caught in the act.” He sighed, rubbing his hand across his face as he tried to reign in his temper. “There are other ways to be taken seriously,” he said, finally, his tone flat. “But regardless, you shouldn’t have gone against what we all decided. This puts all of us at risk, Sirius.”

Lily shut her mouth quite quickly. She knew she was wrong the moment the words left her mouth, but hearing him confirm it and spit it back at her really made it sink in. She tilted her head to the side, considering his words. In the back of her head, she’d always assumed that his crimes hurt people the same most did. But, that was before she knew other things, things about the ways people really hurt in the city behind closed doors. So, what? Him being not as bad as others didn’t seem like a reason for her to trust him. And yet…

“You’re right,” she managed out, although saying the words was painful. Never in a million years did she ever think she would say that to him. “You aren’t the worst. That doesn’t mean you’re a saint. Just because you don’t physically harm people doesn’t mean you don’t hurt people.” A stretch, sure, but she couldn’t stand to just let him be right. 

“Does that mean you’re proposing, Potter?” Lily was reflecting in the back of her mind, remembering a time she chased him through the streets, just hoping for a shred of evidence to actually lead to a conviction. Now, she was borderline flirting with him in a bar she once swore she hated. “If so, I have to be honest. I wouldn’t marry you if it was a choice between you and a giant squid. Let alone just because you call me smart and beautiful in a sleazy place like this.” 

“The truth, right,” she shook her head, but there was a smile still on her face. She was enjoying this, as much as she wished she wasn’t. “Give me one reason I should actually trust you. Just one.” 

James wondered if Lily would ever see past this black and white point of view she seemed to have about the law. She seemed so certain he was bad for breaking it, but really, all he was doing was providing the people with a good they couldn’t get anymore. “I’ve never claimed to be a saint,” he replied, looking away from Lily to where Mary was still performing on stage. “Don’t think I ever will, either. But, I’m not a bad of a guy as you make me out to be,” he said, his voice quiet, serious. “I hope one day you can see that.”

James couldn’t help but snort, though her comment cut a bit deeper than he’d like to admit. “You think when I’ll propose it’ll be a shabby of a job as this?” He shook his head. “Nah, you deserve something more than that, some romance to it,” James admitted, still looking away from her. And he meant that-Lily wasn’t the kind of girl to go halfway. Should she ever give him a shot, he was certain he would be putting his all into it. “Though careful, Officer, Evelyn might not take kindly to you calling her place sleazy,” James teased, finally letting himself look at her once more. God, she was beautiful when she smiled. “A reason to trust me?” he paused, considering it. “I guess that I’ve never lied to you isn’t enough for you,” he said, fake hurt coloring his tone. “But if my word isn’t enough for you, I can offer you this: a favor. Claim it whenever you want, but it’s yours for the taking.” He stood up then, moving away from the woman though it was the last thing he wanted. James offered her one last smile, as he said “But I’ve imposed on your company enough for one evening. I’ll be seeing you, Office.” 

“oh, why thank you, sir.” she said with a smile. things said to grizel were usually not kind, and if they were? they were a little back handed. it was refreshing to have a conversation with someone who didn’t seem like a complete scumbag. “but you can call me gr-” she stopped for the slightest second. “greta.”

she doesn’t know why she wouldn’t just tell him her real name, but she was kind of scared to do so. thus far, the conversation had been going pretty well. “most men can’t, sadly.” grizel said sympathetically. “but you’ll get there, just gotta have a good filter between your brain and your mouth, i think.”

“Lovely to meet you, Greta,” he said with a smile aimed in her direction. He noticed the stutter when it came to her name, but James was around enough of seedier sorts to know that sometimes it was for the better. “I’m James, James Potter,” he introduced himself with ease. Whether she was lying about her name didn’t matter to him-he was never one to shy away from his identity and he wore his family name proudly. 

⚰: my muse’s reaction to watching yours die from afar

It was hard for James, to see his wife so upset.

“it feels like the city might just do that very soon.” she said somewhat, as if new york wasn’t always on the verge of some crisis. no amount of advice could fix that, she was afraid, but if the city managed to go down, it’d be a miracle that dr. medusa might finally have a chance of getting out of the office.

she felt the color rise to her cheeks a bit. “yes, a fellow fan indeed.” she nodded. “although she’s been giving an awful lot of romance advice lately. do you apply it? or just read it for the entertainment?”

James tilted his head towards her in a half nod, “I think you might be on to something there, Miss,” he replied. Things were chaotic in New York, they always were, but lately they seemed to take on a whole new level. 

when: march, 1925

who: @s-crabbe

A part of James felt relieved as he wandered through the small crowd, eyes landing on the woman his mother had been pushing him towards last fall. It hadn’t been that Seraphina had been a bad match-the two of them had gotten along, and she was beautiful. But James hadn’t wanted to get married, hadn’t wanted to settle down right now, and her marriage to someone else had saved him from that. He approached her with the kind of familiarity that he shared with few women in this circle, “Mrs. Crabbe,” he said smoothly, lifting one of her hands to kiss her knuckles. “Married life treating you well?”

who: @fortescucs

when: just sometime prior to the kidnapping time is fake

James had a bit of a bounce in his step. The day was beautiful, his latest letter to Ms. Hurtz had garnered a response in that day’s paper, and his last interaction with Lily had gone better than usual. It was a good day. He was walking through the park when he spotted a familiar face, changing direction slightly so their paths crossed. “Officer Fortescue!” he greeted with a wide smile, doing his best to act charming. “And how is one of New York’s finest doing today?”

“one day that six inches will hopefully have some words that are a litttle more worth while,” she said, trying not to make it sound too personal. grizel got to answer one letter an issue with her four, and if she could just manage to get that space- but the man didn’t need to know any of that.

the responses kept getting more stunning. of course, it’s what she wanted to hear, but that didn’t mean she thought she would ever get to hear it. she could feel a bit of panic rising in her chest. “well! she’s one of my favorites too.” she lied in a way that was hopefully convincing. she tried to think of anything nice someone had said about ehr writing before, and just came back to what the boss always said. “she seems to have a level head on her shoulders, i’d say.”

“If I were you, I wouldn’t hold my breath,” James said with a grin. “He’s been around long enough that it’ll probably take the city collapsing to get him replaced.” He was mostly joking-the writer had been around as long as James could remember, so surely he was close to retiring by now? James had no way to be sure, but he could hope. 

Lily froze when his tone suddenly got more serious, when he seemed to be calling her out rather playing… whatever it was they were playing at. His words hit her in a way she hadn’t expected them to. Of course, as much as she didn’t want to admit it, it was quickly becoming apparent to her that he was telling the truth. Once upon a time, she may have thought he was the worst person that had ever walked the streets. Now, she had learned more. Now, Lily maybe even thought to herself that he could be good; it was a thought she’d never admit out loud, the kind of thought she kept locked in the back of her mind. She wasn’t the kind of idiot girl to fall for a charming smile. Least of all his. Still, she knew that this was more than that. 

“Right,” she mumbled instead, gaze locked on the ground. What else could she say? You’re right and I’m wrong: congratulations? Suddenly, new thoughts came into her head in a flash. This wasn’t the time to back down from what she believed in, least of all in his presence. “I… you still break the law. You’re accountable for that. Don’t you know there are consequences? Do you even care about them?” 

“Officer Evans,” she reminded him sternly, resisting the smile pulling at her lips at the sound of his laugh. Light, kind, genuine. Was it all a trick? The way her stomach was flipping at his compliments felt like a trick. “Is that how you pick up every woman you see at a bar? Flirt, tell them your mother would love them, list all of the reasons they’re just perfect for you to marry,” This was easy. Normal. But, it felt different. “Because it doesn’t seem to be working.” She nodded to his hand, ring absent from his finger. “I don’t hear wedding bells.” 

It wasn’t that he didn’t realize that him and Lily were on opposite sides of the law, that there was something that kept them separated. But he had hoped that through their interactions and the investigation into him that he was sure she was doing that she had at least come to understand that at the heart of it, he wasn’t a bad guy.

“I’m not confirming that I’ve ever broken the law, Officer,” he said, using her title as a subtle reminder  that there were consequences to him doing just that, even in the relative safety of the Boulevardier. “But if I did? It’s not like what you’re accusing me of has ever led to anyone getting hurt,” he replied, doing his best not to think about the incident with Marlene as he said that. “Consequences or no, I have my limit to what lines i might hypothetically be willing to cross.”

He rolled his eyes at Lily-because in his head it was never Officer Evans, only ever Lily-but there was no heat to it. James offered up a smirk that was more smile than anything, softer than he usually allowed himself to be in public. “No, that was never how I’ve gone about it when I’ve picked up women in the past,” he admitted. “Because nothing I said was line. You’re all that I’ve said and more, Officer.” James shifted in his seat, leaning just the slightest bit more towards her. “Everything I’ve said you? It’s always the truth. I don’t bullshit, not with you.”

remus didn’t immediately reply to that, a twinge of guilt coursing through him. he wasn’t avoiding his friends, he wasn’t, not really. he was sure james knew that but somehow, though, james’ words still hit him hard. “ yeah, yeah, i’ll do my best to do that. i’m sorry. ” his jaw clenched slightly and his gaze fixed on the worn wood of the bar top. “ tell sirius i’m sorry too. ”

“ grey at twenty-seven. truly heartbreaking. ” his tone was wry, but this time when he smiled it was half-hearted. for as harsh as remus was, as standoffish as he could be, he never meant to hurt his friends. his not being around was never intentional. “ a pity, really. maybe we can work on your inside voice. i’ll make turning you into a decent guest my pet project. ”

He wondered if he had pushed too far, with the tension in his friend’s jaw and the way he stared at the bar rather than meet James’s gaze. “It’s alright, man. No hard feelings, but we just like spending time with you when you have it to spare.”

James rolled his eyes at Remus’s teasing, chuckling at the words. He ran a hand over his head in mock concern for the color of what little hair he had. “I think that’s why my mom is trying so hard to marry me off-she knows my good looks are fading in my old age.” His eyes narrowed, “My mother didn’t manage to get it done in 27 years, Remus, I think it might be a hopeless task.”

that wasn’t the response she was expecting at all. what grizel intended to hear was oh! miss skeeter’s newest story or just last week’s sports coverage! but there were plenty of advice columns within the pages of the new york times, she knew because most of them were written by old timers who sat a few desks down from her.

“curiosity always get the best of me, but no, i would never judge anyone for seeking some good advice.” she said, trying not to sound too giddy. it was the small things. sitting in an office and writing the articles up seemed meaningless. “dr. medusa’s are always hit and miss. no man could manage to write a whole column that basically says you should see a real doctor except him.”

James couldn’t help but laugh at the comments about Dr. Medusa’s column. “I’ve got to admit,” he said with a grin, “you’ve really captured his entire bit with that. I don’t think I’ve ever seen so many ways to tell someone to ask somebody else-he’s got a gift, truly.”

“ i’m older than i’ve ever been so it’s rather new territory for me. it feels – ” remus gave a shrug of his shoulders before letting out a laugh “ – i don’t know. it feels like every other day, i guess. ” it didn’t, though. he glanced around the room, at the people he didn’t know, at the people he didn’t trust, and he bit his tongue. a part of him felt like he was tempting fate with all that the marauders were doing – it was exciting and thrilling and the slightest bit terrifying. he shot a smile at james and said, “ what about you, old man ? feel like you’ve got one foot in the grave yet ? ”

remus rolled his eyes before reaching for his drink. he took a long sip before saying, “ she’s more like my landlord, or she would be if she actually took my money. anyways, if you missed me that much, you should have come ‘round to evelyn’s. she wouldn’t have minded. ”

“And all this time is passing-you getting up there in your old age, and you can’t find the time to swing by the apartment? Sirius misses you, too, maybe you can stop by sometime this week?” James teased, keeping the silent if you’re feeling up for it, to himself. He didn’t want Remus to push himself too far, but he also wanted to keep an eye on his friend. “Ha,” he scoffed, rolling his eyes at Remus’s joke, “Yeah, you know how it is-going gray, wrinkles, I’m really started to look my age.”

James shrugged, “Sure, she wouldn’t mind, but I’m sure she’d like some peace and quiet when she’s not at the bar, and I’m not likely to provide that.”

remus stiffened when he felt someone touch his shoulder but all tension left him when he realized who it was. james potter. he smiled at his friend before saying, “ haven’t been out and about lately. i’m feeling my age. ” it was a weak joke, but his voice was lighthearted, easy-going. “ but evelyn said she missed seeing me here – ” he rolled his eyes, as if it were a burden “ – so this is only for her. ” there was another joke cracked there, considering he lived with her.

There was something in the way Remus was joking that caused worry to flood through James-was his friend really okay, or was he feeling worse than normal? Either way, he knew if he pushed too far Remus would take it the wrong way, so he kept his voice casual as he asked, “And what does it feel like, being all of 24, hmm?” 

He rolled his eyes, smiling at his friend, “I guess I can’t complain since your roommate’s complaints about seeing you here are benefiting me.”