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@sun-flowersinthekitchen
Quick links: 911 Lone Star: fanfic, fanart, metas, fic recs, fanart recs Nancy Drew: fanfic

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*cools ur dashboard down*
happy
Felt weird and now its everyones problem
i think i've posted this before, but ilya truly does deserve an award for his patience after getting woken up at fuck o'clock at the cottage for a five year plan strategy session when he was in the middle of a rem cycle.
like the way he asked "what is nur-ate-iv?" makes me think man TRULY was not catching all of the words getting tossed at him so fast the second his eyes were even a LITTLE open. like he wasn't asking "what story did you come up with?" he's asking "what word are you even saying to me right now?" man got like 0.2 seconds to be like "oh i'm awake now?" before he was getting PELTED with english because shane had a forty step plan that couldn't wait like. three more hours.
i would have hit him with a pillow and said let's circle back, so kudos to ilya.
this does make me think that if they have kids, ilya is going to be the default parent getting woken up for "i frew up"
in my heart, shane sleeps like a ROCK and is also non-functional if his sleep schedule is disrupted
so papa is the one getting little hands patting at his face at 3 am because his sleep isn't safe from daddy OR the kids
this also does mean that shane rarely wakes up in a bed with the same number of people it had when he fell asleep
either ilya is completely mia because he went to lay down with whatever kiddo came to get him and then fell asleep in their bed without meaning to, or shane wakes up to little feet pushing into his kidney or a little fist tucked under his arm or a kiddo sprawled sideways over him AND ilya in a way that canNOT be comfortable
shane always handles getting everyone put together and fed breakfast, but the first step of every morning routine is just a headcount to find out where everyone ended up overnight
@zouisalmightie
@shakespearerants
awww, also feeling very Soft about the idea of shane taking over when he clocks in for his shift
wakes up at 6 am alone and goes to investigate where his husband ended up and finds ilya curled up on a twin bed he's taking up almost all of the real estate on, their wide-awake child reading their little picture book while using him as a backrest, and shane picks kiddo up, sends them off to the kitchen to wait for breakfast and then *gentle smooch smooch until ilya stirs without fully waking up* hey. i'm sure twisting up like a shrimp is super comfortable and good for your back, but we have a king size bed, too, in case you forgot. just a reminder that you have some options here.
and then nudges ilya back to their room while he goes to get the rest of the house ready for the day while ilya curls up in still shane-warm sheets to sleep for a while more.
and shane CAN be partially roused, but his one move running on sleep brain is "c'mere" and now VERY strong daddy is holding you and you are NOT getting free until morning, which is not always a solution to a problem, which means ilya has 100% had to negotiate the release of a captive child from his husband's hold after papa has been woken for intercession because being squeezed is NOT a fix for "i frew up"
which shane??? somehow?? sleeps through???? like truly at a certain point it's just impressive
laughing and also awwww about ilya being lowkey kind of sad when the kiddos are old enough that they don't really wake him up at night anymore. like probably better for his health that he now gets full nights of sleeping without interruption, but i am feeling very soft imagining him being a lil sad to not be having "up at 2 am rocking an itty bitty back to sleep" or "curling up around one of their babies at 4 am in a tiny bed and telling them a story until they get sleepy again" time. at the time exhausting, but also very fulfilling and also a tangible sign that he's doing better than his father did. like HE would have NEVER considered waking his father at ANY age, so yeah tiny hands tapping his face late at night are bad for being rested but very good for knowing his children understand they can ALWAYS come get him when they need him. like yeah not great that their child figures out how to escape artist their crib (he blames shane and shane blames him for creating an acrobatbaby), but it does mean waking up to lil babby trying to climb the sheets to come cuddle, and even if it means his sleep being disrupted, handing off their child to shane to "c'mere" hold so ilya can wrap his arms around all of them and hold his family all at once is very peaceful, and he's more than a little sad for it to stop.
which does mean he faces his first month of not being woken up at night at all and one morning just snuggles up behind shane while he's making coffee and is just "heeeeeyyyyyyyyyy what do you think about another baby-"
GOD
and kid whose house their teenager is supposed to be at (who used staying at THEIR house as an excuse) also gets collected because they had gotten a ride from someone who isn't leaving yet even though the party is NOT fun anymore for young teenagers who just made one very bad choice that got out of hand, and ilya isn't going to wake up other adults at 2 in the morning, so other teen comes along and stays the night and gets a brief pause on facing the music from their parents until the next day.
but shane who still has a habit of doing a headcount of everyone each morning now wakes up to find?? a whole extra teenager in addition to HIS teenager who wasn't supposed to be here??? WHAT happened last night???
but also *shrug* breakfast for two more than planned, okay-

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hey, it's okay if the only thing you did for pride was exist. i'm glad & grateful you are in the world. your survival is a celebration.
Happy pride month to the tiny cowboy and tiny Trojan man from Night at the Museum
This hands down the best comment in the notes, I will not be taking criticism.
one person's "ugghh this trope is so overdone" is another person's "oooooohohohohohohohoho"
the unstoppable force is tonguing the immovable object and it seems to be enjoying the experience

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Thank you for the tag @carlos-in-glasses! Chapter 3 of Otherside of the Game is fully drafted! Just needs to be edited... Luckily that is my favorite part :)
“Let me guess, you wanna buy Carlos flowers to make up for the fact that you and Marj went rogue and started your own amateur investigation into his case?” Paul holds a pink flower up to his nose and raises a challenging eyebrow at TK.
“No,” TK scoffs.
“Come on, TK,” Marjan prods. “You’re getting him guilt flowers.”
“They’re not guilt flowers.”
“Oh yeah? How many times have you gotten him flowers unprompted?”
He pauses. She’s got him there.
“They’re guilt flowers.”
He can’t remember either of them ever getting each other flowers. Their love languages have always skewed closer towards acts of service, like a back rub or a home cooked meal, or Carlos bringing home random knick knacks from Buc-ee's and TK filling the cabinet with fun new snacks from H-Mart.
“I’m actually not sure if Carlos even likes flowers.”
“Everyone likes flowers,” Marjan says encouragingly.
“We’ve always had houseplants. And the herb garden…” He scrunches his nose. “Wait, are flowers different from plants?”
“Yes,” Paul calls from across the aisle.
“Don’t listen to him,” Marjan says. “You’ve been married to Carlos for years, TK, I’m sure you can find something he’ll like.”
Marjan hovers behind as TK starts moving down the aisle, he has no idea what he’s doing but picking out flowers for Carlos can’t be that hard. He likes a minimalist aesthetic and clean lines, so TK grabs a handful of white lilies, a few creamy off-white tube-shaped flowers. Maybe he can find something dark for accent…
“No,” Marjan says, grabbing the flowers from his hands and going to put them back.
“What the hell, Marj?”
“These are funeral flowers, dummy.”
“There are special flowers for funerals?”
Paul’s sigh practically has an echo.
“Sorry! I’m gay, not Bobby Berk!”
“There’s a whole flower language,” Marjan says. She’s clearly trying to bite back a laugh. “Everybody knows that.”
“Well, I didn’t get the memo. And I’m pretty sure Carlos didn’t either.”
“Nope.” She says when he reaches for a bunch of cheerful yellow carnations. “Those mean rejection.”
“He would definitely get that memo,” Paul muses quietly.
Next he learns that orange lilies mean hatred. Petunias are a symbol of anger.
“Who is out there buying people hate flowers?” TK asks, bewildered.
My beloved mutuals are turning my 0 note flop posts into 1 note cult classics
touching grass isn't enough some of y'all need to drive out to the countryside and look at the stars
this post was aimed at the discourse-addled and terminally online, but i'm glad it's reaching an audience of people who are just excited about stargazing in general

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If the missing moment from the promo had been included in the episode
911 Lone Star: Road Kill (4x09; unaired + episode footage)
you have permission to pick that 2 year old "abandoned" project back up. it's not mad at you for setting it aside. and maybe time and distance have helped ease or erase the things that made you put it down in the first place.