Me

Goodbye.

If you did. You wouldn't be the way you've been towards me. You would have said something to me by now. But no. You expect me to make conversation first. Every. Time. You wouldn't reject me every time I ask to do something. I get you don't want to do something all the time. But I literally don't care if we just stay in bed and watch movies. You say you're playing hard to get. No. That's not the case. You say you're no good to be with because of all the hurtful thing. That's not the case either. I see none of that in you. I see a beautiful soul. Who has so much potential. Someone who is my best friend. But also the person who I can spend a life time with. I just get this awful vibe you just don't want to be with me. And I get that. But before we start making out in your bed or mine again, you have to answer me, "is it me or her. Or neither." Because I can't be stuck in a loop where I keep thinking something is going somewhere, when in actuality it's not going anywhere. I love you to pieces. But I refuse to let myself get hurt and let down again. I'm not someone who can just wait for answers that's months away from getting. I have to have one now. Regardless if it's the answer I don't want. I don't care. Tell me no if you have to, that way I won't be lead on. Tell me yes if you want me like I want you. But don't leave me confused. Because I'll walk away completely. You have to decide. But regardless the decision. I love you always. You'll always be my best friend. And I'm always here for you if you need anything.

I guess you don't care anymore.

I don't know what to do anymore.

We can't always have something we want. You are what I want. But I don't want you when there's someone else in the way when you claim you just want me.

I'm in love with you. Not just as my best friend. But more. You're so much more than what you see yourself as. You're so beautiful. No matter how many times I get upset or mad at you, I can't help but love you and be happy with you. You're an amazing person. So cheer up. Trust me. Believe in me. Especially when I tell you this.

You have to pick. Poison or Life. You can't have both.

I almost gave into my biggest addiction the other night. But I told myself "Summer no, don't do that. You don't need it." I almost called someone to help. Because the urge got so bad. I couldn't take it. But I didn't. I didn't give in. Because of YOU.

Fuck...