Cw: Death , Angst , Hurt/No Comfort , mention of abuse , suicidal behavior, mentions of blood, Death.
The characters are in their 20s in this timeline.
The rain was hitting the windshield so hard Rin couldn't see but all he could hear was the ragged, wet sound of your breathing from the passenger seat.
He kept one hand locked on the steering wheel, his knuckles white, while his other hand reached out blindly, desperately grasping for yours.Your fingers were already turning cold.
"Stay with me," he choked out, pressing his foot harder against the accelerator. The city lights blurred into streaks of red and white through his tears. "[Name], look at me. Stay awake. We’re almost there. Please."
You don't respond. How could you? Everything hurts. Blurry. Rin began to panic more. Everything overwhelming him. He drove faster. Everything violently dragged him back to Kamakura.
The sea. It was after his loss against the Official U-20 team. Sae acknowledged Isagi but never Rin. It was all over. He was tired. There was no point anymore.
He stood closer than usual. To the railing. The dark sea. A faint rustle. A voice. Soft.
"Excuse me? Would you....would you like to buy handmade bracelets? Hair clips maybe?" The voice was soft. Hesitant. He turns. You. An immigrant young woman. Probably in her late teens. Your eyes looked hopeful. Your hand had a box , handmade bracelets. You probably couldn't sold much.
"Go away.." He said . it was sharper than usual.
"Okay..." You turned. Walking away.
He should've waited for you to leave. But something inside his chest , ached violently. He stepped on the railing. The wind felt nice.
"Wait! Please don't do this!"
That voice again. Gripping the back of his shirt. Broken japanese.
"Please step down! Please ! Life has so much to give! Please believe me! Your life is precious! Please don't throw it away!"
"I'll jump with you holding on to me if you don't."
The threat was cruel. He knew. He wanted you to let go. You don't. You hold him. Almost like an embrace from behind. You weren't strong enough to hold an athlete down. But you cling to him. Then scream. The locals , they started to approach. He could hear footsteps. He struggles. His elbow caught accidentally on the corner of your lips. He heard the whimper. You let go when other grown men held him down. He fights them too. They don't let go. His eyes land on yours. You were trembling. He was overwhelmed. The bracelets, clips they are on the concrete. Broken. Crushed. Maybe he did it. You choose to save a stranger. He hated you. He absolutely did.
He snaps back to reality. The rain almost stopped. You whisper.
"[Name] don't you! Don't you dare leave me!"
"Hurts..." It's like he can't hear anything after that. After he felt your pulse stop. After he's carrying you inside the hospital, frantically screaming for the doctor. It was too late he knew. The doctor comes out not too long after taking you in. He hears it.
It has been a day since then. Since he stepped inside the room. You were pale. Someone putting a white cloth on you. Closing your half open eyes. Since they lowered your coffin. Since his last words to you. You were always making yourself smaller. After the starting of your relationship with him. After that incident of him trying to off himself, months after that. He supported you , helped you. You didn't have to sell things anymore. And you were honestly grateful. Yet....Your dad he wasn't a good man. He abused you , mom was too unstable to handle those. You learned it early. Making yourself smaller , less demand , less wanting. Always understanding. That day of accident, you wanted a late night drive. He was tired. Yet he took you.
You said something." You're never there. I wish we could spend more time." He never answered.
He wasn't sure why he lashed out on you. Because you were crying? You finally complained?
" Rin? Please I want to be seen too. I don't even know if you want me with you anymore. I'm so tired. Please I'm tired of begging for scraps."
He finally loses it " You knew it , Soccer always is my first priority. This won't change. If you don't like it , leave then" those worlds came out colder than he meant them to.
You just stared at him. For once ...you were mad." I hate this! I just want to be understood for once! I feel like this is all your guilt , pity!"
He has never heard you like this. But he was stressed, exhausted. He stops the car. He needed to think.
"I said Get out of my Car!"
You flinched. Hard. Like something made you remember to keep being small. You stepped out. Stood by his window. He was about to get out.
It happens in a single breathe. The moment you stepped into the street, the world dissolved into a blur of blinding white headlights and a sudden, violent impact.Everything slowing down. Rin couldn't process anything first. He saw the car keep going for a second, then stop, then nothing.
He was screaming. He realized. When he reached you , you were too still but you were breathing. His hands shaking, he calls an emergency number ,, he needs to act fast. He picks you up.
The doctors already knowing. They checks on you. You don't survive . Not really. Deep in his mind , he knew it. By how your state was. You weren't gonna live.
"...did everything we could..."
"...would you like to see..."
The apartment was too quiet now. Days have passed. Sae visits him occasionally. He needs to go back to Madrid. Rin needed to go back too. But the ache inside his chest won't go away. He killed you. He thinks. It's his fault. His cruelty. You were suffering. It wasn't really a relationship. It's his fault. He has been seeing you too often. You appear everywhere and nowhere at once. You don't look happy. You never look at him. Your face is always turned away. He doesn't know what to do with it.
He goes back to Spain. Throwing himself in training, Matches. There is nothing else left. It has been Months. He wonders what he could've done to change the outcome. His fans and family pities him. Makes him the Trauma survivor. But he thinks he's a murderer. Because he did kill you didn't he? You gave him a purpose to keep going. He took your purpose away. He took until nothing left of you. He's a mess now. He doesn't know what to do with himself. He can't do anything properly anymore. He's tired.
The money from his contracts, the endorsements, the wealth that felt so hollow now - he didn't want it. Instead, he silently began filtering it away. He funded anonymous shelters, legal aid, and safe havens for young women and abuse survivors. Girls who, like you once were, were left entirely on their own to survive.
He never put his name on the buildings. He never did interviews about it. It wasn't for public praise or to clear his conscience - because his conscience would never be clear. It was simply the only way he knew how to tell your memory that he was finally listening. That he finally saw you. But it was too late. He used to caress the scar on the corner of your lips when you're asleep. When he could finally show a little vulnerability.
He doesn't know if it means anything. You're gone. You've been gone for months now. But maybe the world you had so much hope for , he could make it just a little livable. He did love you in his messed up broken , cruel way. He wishes he could've been better for you. He'll never forgive himself.
A/n: idk how this tuned out , I tried 😭.
2025-2026 — don’t copy/modify/translate/repost to other sites. also don’t feed my work to ai.
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