!!!!!!!!!!! THANK YOU!!!!! oh my god what an amazing surprise, thank you so much for this perfect beautiful fanart! i’m in love with how overwhelmingly happy & warm & cosy the atmosphere is -- everyone is comfortable, everyone is relaxed, ritsu is experiencing the most profound humiliation of his entire life so far (or at least of the last ten minutes), all is gentle and welcoming and just as it should be. ritsu is capable of having a nervous breakdown under ANY circumstances in ANY conditions, and he is proving that admirably here. THANK YOU SO MUCH AGAIN!!!!!!! I WILL TREASURE THIS <333
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i know you’re never on here anymore, but have you watched the favourite (dir. yorgos lanthimos) ??? it seems right up your alley — complex, contentious relationships between 3 women explored really well with strange humor, lesbians, cruelty, machiavellian scheming, and a dark psychological horror-y ending
I HAVENT!!!! I HAVENT BUT I REALLY REALLY WANT TO, truth be told i just do not watch films at all nearly ever but this is the #1 film i have most badly wanted to see ever since it got released, and not only because i have been hot for olivia colman for the literal majority of my entire life ever since i was an oblivious young child transfixed by her face while watching greenwing. ive been recommended it about a billion times by about a billion people who have also felt it would be exactly to my tastes, and now you are bringing this extremely personally appealing rec to me as well, so i am going to publish this ask straight away to commit to definitely finally watching this film sometime this summer!!!! I WILL DO IT, FINALLY. I WILL FULFIL MY DESTINY.
SKIPPY’S OFFICIAL SUMMER PROJECT: WATCH ‘THE FAVOURITE’
a couple of media recommendations (hoping this will be get answered soon but am fully prepared to wait another several years for u to check tumblr bc the wait is worth it)--earthlings by sayaka murata and anything george saunders has ever written (if u have already read these before, then what were ur thoughts? if not, might enjoy)
DEAR ANON!!!!! THANK YOU, ‘earthlings’ and ‘lincoln in the bardo’ were in fact already both ready on my ereader as books i hadn’t read yet but thought i would enjoy, so i bumped them up the priority list (there is no actual list) on account of this message and it was a fantastic choice, i had a wonderful time. for background context i would also like to mention that generally when i come across a book i think i’d like to read then i get the book onto my ereader but i don’t read it immediately..... i let it sit. i let it ferment. i forget the specifics of why i originally thought i’d like to read it but i trust my past self’s taste, so whenever i do eventually decide to take it off the virtual shelf and read it then i usually have no idea anymore of what it’s supposed to be about or why i was interested in it or what i’m getting into. and because both these books were already on my ereader i knew they had already passed my interest check!!! so i didn’t look them up again after getting this message, even though i had no recollection of why i had originally thought i’d enjoy them!!! so i dived into both of them with zero idea of what i was actually diving into WHICH WAS A FANTASTIC MOVE.
under the cut: further thoughts + one extra book rec (and caution for the benefit of anyone who is not this anon and isn't forewarned, there is also some discussion of fictional child abuse under the cut).
lincoln in the bardo - george saunders - it is so so so rare to come across a book that leaves me feeling stunned because i had never imagined a book like that could be written, BUT THIS ONE DID IT. calling it ‘original’ would be damning with faint praise, it was surreal it was incredible, i still feel concussed by the impact and i cannot fathom the mind that came up with a work like this. you know when the concept of ‘imagination’ gets illustrated as someone with the top of their head missing and a load of zany colourful stuff springing out all over the place??? that is how i imagine the author of this book. on three separate occasions i also had to stop reading because it was about to make me cry in public, which is surreal in its own right tbh because i really do not cry easily at fiction. the last time it happened was 3+ years ago. i will surely read more by this author.
earthlings - sayaka murata - i blasted through this in under 24hrs, i loved every weird bleak grim serenely delusional moment, and i also have to say i found it very funny when it became immediately apparent from the literal first page that you had recced me something as merrily fucked up as all my own recs and that you had done so with exactly as little warning of what to expect as i had too. DEFINITELY NOT COMPLAINING!!!!! IT WAS A WILD RIDE FROM START TO FINISH.
and actually anon based on this book, i have a rec back for you too! it won the international booker prize in 2020, and it is.......
the discomfort of evening - marieke lucas rijneveld - in the rural netherlands, the eldest child of an intensely religious farming family dies in an ice skating accident. matters deteriorate. i read this late last year and it made an extreme & lasting impression on me, but ultimately i chose not to include it in my previous rec post because frankly i still cannot tell whether i liked it or whether i am just irreparably altered by having read it. but this book has a lot in common with ‘earthlings’. i mean it has a LOT in common. it has an absolutely bizarre amount of things in common.
AN INCOMPLETE LIST OF TRAITS THESE TWO NOVELS SHARE: the narrator is a very young and socially isolated girl with a desperately grim home life, neglectful and/or abusive; she retreats ever deeper into her obsessive, delusional inner world as a way to cope with ongoing trauma; the bizarre behaviour caused by her increasing disconnect from reality goes unnoticed until it’s too severe to be overlooked, after which it’s ignored or mocked or vilified, all of which worsens her alienation which worsens her behaviour which worsens her alienation and so on and on forever; sexual abuse of/by children too young to properly understand what’s happening to them; incest between children too young to properly understand what they’re doing; wildly extreme & graphic violence committed by/against children but which the narrator is too dissociated to feel anything about; really vivid and specific and revolting focus on all things luridly taboo and scatological; the narrator has total faith that if/when she finally gets to one specific location then all of her problems will gloriously disappear....... I COULD GO ON!!!!! BUT YOU PROBABLY GET MY POINT.
and one more tangent since i’m already on the topic: even though the subject matter is so freakishly similar, there’s a very dark sense of humour to ‘earthlings’ which makes it hit way different imo; when it’s surreal, it’s so surreal that it goes all the way over the top into giddily cartoonish horror. but ‘discomfort’ is wildly surreal in the narrator’s unstable POV while also being committed to unrelentingly bleak realism in the actual events of the novel, and while usually i am ALL ABOUT unrelentingly bleak realism, in this case it really fucked with me. i found this book genuinely deeply distressing in a way i can’t remember any other fiction ever affecting me in my entire life.
AS YOU CAN SEE: I DON’T KNOW IF I’M RECOMMENDING IT!!!!! but the subject matter was so startlingly alike that i couldn’t not mention it, so here you go anyway, anon. and thank you very much again for your recs!
nene hasn't hurried up and murdered amane yet; tsukasa is here to help change that.
a preview of the fic i wrote for @jshkppzine, which is also my half of a fic/art collaboration with bby_clove on twitter! thanks very much to everyone involved in the zine for letting me be part of it.
pre-orders are open until april 26th: picturesquezine.bigcartel.com
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hello!!! I have been in love with your writing for y e a r s and I return to your ao3 periodically to reread pretty much everything you've written and I have so much unwavering trust in your taste in media to the extent that I'd probably blindly follow you into a dark cellar if you said there was a cool book down there and on that note! I was wondering! do you perhaps have any new media you've consumed in the past year or so that you'd recommend? :> also I hope you are doing well!!!!!
SWEET ANON!!!!!! this is a very kind & lovely message which made me very happy to see and i am replying to it extremely late, so i hope that by some lucky fluke you might end up coming back to see this at some future point anyway. for you, this duck:
it’s been forever since i recced books on here, so i had a look at my lists of what i’ve read in the last couple of years and picked out some best beloved entries! blanket warning for dark & unpleasant content in all of them, of various types; some of them it’s been a while since i read but if there’s any more specific warnings you'd like then i can try.
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edith’s diary - patricia highsmith - a woman’s family falls apart and her life falls apart and she falls apart too. truly just bleak as hell, absolutely horrible, i loved every moment. this novel is a deviation from type for patricia highsmith in that it does NOT involve young men engaging in murder, manipulation, and sociopathic mind games while travelling continental europe, but i am a devoted fan of all the rest of her novels too.
out - natsuo kirino - four women of assorted circumstances work part-time on a factory floor’s processing line. one of them murders her husband. the others help cover it up, but not all of them want to. everything goes to hell and the plot zigzags ten million times on the way. if what you want is grim psychological suspense feat. complex & merciless entanglements between variously unlikeable women, WHICH IS ALWAYS WHAT I WANT, then this is your book. really extreme grimy realism for the setting of modern-day urban japan, too.
(back-up rec for everything else by natsuo kirino as well, ‘grotesque’ stars two of the most breathtakingly vile & vicious & resentful female characters i’ve ever had the joy of encountering in my entire life. a third woman who they both knew has recently been murdered, and they take it in turns to recount the backstories of their absolutely unhinged lifelong mutual obsessions with her.)
in the miso soup - ryu murakami - a young guy in tokyo gives guided tours of the kabukicho red light district for english-speaking foreigners. one weekend, he’s hired by an american guy. things get creepy and then they get batshit and then they get worse. the violence is so graphic i nearly threw up. frankly i still don’t know if i’m recommending this book but it was a reading experience like no other and it did get me to read every other book by the author, all of which i loathed so passionately that i’ve become permanently obsessed. a complex relationship exists between me and mr murakami.
beyond black - hilary mantel - a professional psychic medium and her immensely spiteful assistant travel the ringroads of suburban britain together, while spiralling ever deeper into the ruinously toxic depths of their mutually destructive relationship. very grim, very funny, very much tailored to my interests in terms of bleak suburbia and relentless interpersonal cruelty between women.
vita nostra - marina & sergey dyachenko - a teenage girl is chosen to attend a secret russian university which will develop her unknown powers..... but she doesn’t want to go, so the cruel & bizarre coercion begins and it does not stop. i've never read anything like this book in my entire life, it’s beyond surreal and i loved it. there’s literally no way to describe it. there’s nothing else like it!!!! reading it feels like your mind is melting and being remade, which incidentally is the experience of the protagonist as well.
the sea, the sea - iris murdoch - a much-celebrated theatre director with an ego the size of the universe retires to the seaside, where he unexpectedly meets his childhood sweetheart, now elderly and happily married. obviously the fact she is happily married will not stop him from reclaiming their young love. the fact she doesn’t want to reclaim it will not stop him either. he knows best. he’ll persuade her. the levels of obsession and self-obsession are off the charts. one of my favourite unreliable narrators of all time.
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as far as other media goes i remain as fanatical as ever about arrested development, and i also made the mistake of dipping my toes into the waters of jibaku shounen hanako-kun, which turned out not to be water but quicksand because i remain stuck, despite the fact that, on paper, everything about this manga makes it seem like the last thing in the world which would keep me stuck. AND YET!!!!!!!
Hi I’ve been binge-reading some of your fics and I wanted to say they’re so good!! They’re so well written and funny and well-structured, I love them! Reading it gives me so much happiness, thank you for writing
thank you so much! i guess you can probably tell from the quiet & uneventful state of my tumblr and ao3 that i’ve been on a prolonged hiatus, but i’m still writing, i am ALWAYS writing i’m not physically capable of stopping, and i’m really happy to know that you’ve been enjoying my fics! writing them always brings me a lot of happiness in the first place, so i’m very glad if i can pass that feeling on.
skippy, did you at her read the second baru book and what were your thoughts?? 👀
I DID!!!!!!!!!!!! OF COURSE I DID I COULD NEVER NOT READ IT, BARU IS MY #1 TRUE BELOVED TO WHOM I HAVE GIVEN MY HEART FOREVER AND EVER TO DO WITH AS SHE WILL <333 i was in fact literally counting down the days until its release so i started reading it the day it came out, which was a while ago now, which means my memory is a bit blurry so i cannot give the most exact & accurate accounting of every single thing i loved about it…….. but then again fortunately i dont need to, because what i loved about it was EVERY SINGLE THING.
(spoilers under the cut)
baru remains my dream woman, i remain in love, i will remain loyal to her forever. that whole long slow claustrophobic opening with just baru and apparitor alone together in the keep, post-tain hu, where he is so horrified & sickened & traumatised by her actions that he remains drunk 24/7 to numb himself to the horror of baru while occasionally just bursting out in drunken revulsion to tell her what a cruel vicious sociopath she is while baru is unable to deny it and also unable to express her own horror or grief, and instead has to constantly perform that exact utter vicious callousness hes accusing her of: i was on fire. i truly cannot overemphasise enough just how on fire i was, once again i felt like this entire novel had been written to cater specifically & exclusively to me. i would eagerly welcome the opportunity to be chained to a rock and drowned alive for baru so long as i knew it would benefit her in some way.
AND EVERYTHING ELSE!!!!!! LITERALLY EVERYTHING, i cant even try to list what i loved because its literally just everything. the whiplash from her extremely repressed sexuality on fear of death in the first book to her flying out of the closet in a miserable depressed oversexed fury in the second and trying to fuck every other woman she met was amazing, i wasnt expecting it at all & i loved it. even setting my pre-existing baru passions aside, it just really made me happy to read a book from the POV of a lesbian narrator who was so very very focused on eyeing other women up with explicitly sexual interest.
(it has also been long enough that TO MY SHAME ive forgotten her name, but holy fucking shit that snippy spiteful officer from the masquerade navy who baru &co. ended up keeping chained in the hold!!!!! i have never been into anything in my life like i was into the vicious bullying ‘taking my own feelings of helplessness & powerlessness out on a woman who is literally my own chained captive at my mercy & yet still does not respect me’ abuse of authority mess that was her/baru AND THEN IT HAPPENED, THEY REALLY FUCKED, MY DREAMS CAME TRUE, yet again baru managed to involve herself in one of the most phenomenally fucked up f/f dynamics i have ever seen in fiction. i love you, baru cormorant.)
i feel that by even mentioning these few specific things i am already doing a disservice to everything else i havent mentioned yet but which i also loved, because, to reiterate, I LOVED EVERYTHING. and if you read it too then i hope you also enjoyed it, anon!!!!! i dont generally go looking for reviews of anything online but i understand opinions of this book were mixed (which i suppose is an improvement on ‘opinions were violently & furiously divided’ re: the first book), but my own opinion is just as it was before: A++++++++++++++, 100000/10, perfect & faultless & cruel & wonderful, my heart is racing fast with love <333
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Hi! I've only read 2 of your fics so far but I wanted to let you know that tomorrow isn't always another day might be one of the best fanfics I've ever read (like, I could probably write an essay on why exactly I love it and would recommend it) and I'm VERY excited to read more of your work when I can! <3
THANK YOU, im really happy you enjoyed it! i had a fantastic time writing that fic in the first place and it remains extremely near & dear to my heart. i hope if you read anything else of mine then you have a good time too!
in exchange for this v kind ask, a priceless gift:
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