I want to Die

maybe in another universe, my feelings are validated

You stopped saying goodnight and i stopped sleeping.

Nobody ever talks about how selfless it is to choose, over and over again, to not commit suicide. Nobody ever acknowledges the tremendous sacrifice suicidal people make every time we choose not to kill ourselves. When a person who is suffering so horribly that death seems like their best option decides not to take their one way out, and to instead remain in hell, day after day, month after month, year after year, because they don’t want to hurt the people they love, they are doing something extraordinary. Not killing yourself when it’s all you want to do is the purest act of love I can imagine. Dying for someone is easy - you don’t have to deal with any of the consequences, you have your moment of nobility and then it’s all over. But living for someone, when the simple fact of consciousness is literal torture for you? Every single suicidal person who ever made a choice to not kill themselves in a moment of misery is a goddamn hero in my eyes. Wanting to die and still surviving is an act of titanic courage and self-sacrifice. We deserve more credit for it.

I don’t get mad anymore, I just get really quiet. Why keep talking when nobody is really listening to you?

i am overwhelmed and i just want everything to stop. just stop. just for a moment so i can think, so i can cry, so i can mourn but its so difficult because life just keeps going and my issues are piling on top of each other and suffocating me and i am so overwhelmed that i cant breathe. i hate this.

Ever cried in your bed curled up in a ball because you’re alive and can’t die?

Hell yeah it did