My own worse nightmare

(via acknaturally)

@sstreched-truth-aa

So you want to die right now. Not in the way someone wants to go for a jog on a lazy Saturday afternoon, or the way the idea of TV in bed might sound good to a couple after a long day at work. You want to die, right now, at this very moment, in the way someone drowning wants air.

But - and stop me if you’ve heard this one before - no one else wants you to. The person you’ll be married to one day is moving into their new house, the one they’ll end up sharing with you. They’re putting sunflowers in the window and replacing that one loose floorboard the neighbor warned them about a few weeks ago. They’re setting the table for the microwaved spaghetti they’ll be eating later tonight because it was a long day and they’re too tired to cook. They’re setting the table with one plate in this moment, but in the future there will be two.

They don’t want you to die.

Even that person you checked a book out for at the library the other day? They don’t want you to die either. It’s not just the people you live with or talk to every day that don’t want you to die. It’s people you met once, or twice, or people you have yet to meet.

They say that it takes seven years for a person’s cells to regenerate. That after seven years, you end up an entirely new person. But in reality, every part of the body has a different lifespan. Every few days, the stomach lining is renewed. Bones are renewed once every ten years.

You want to die. But no one else wants you to.