Sugared Drinks

Today is, without a doubt, a very special day.

Why, you may ask?

Because today is Vig’s birthday.

Many of you may not know who Vig is — I haven't mentioned him much in the blog, but that’s because to try to encapsulate Vig in a blog post would be too great a feat for any one person to accomplish.

Vig is cultural. Vig is worldly. Vig is a man trapped in a hole (not literally).

If you pass him on the street, you will know just by looking at him. He won’t, though, because his eyesight is subpar, but while that may seem like it would be a dig on any other person, it is just one of those things that makes Vig who he is — it doesn’t bring him down.

Vig doesn’t let his poor eyesight blur the lines between right and wrong. He’s perhaps one of the most down-to-Earth fellas I’ve ever met.

I consider myself lucky to have crossed paths with you, buddy. The office just wouldn’t be the same without you.

This day’s for you. Enjoy it.

Thank you, anonymous question asker! I can safely say that I am equally as inspired by you, the reader. It’s people like you who remind me why I do this, why I dedicate so much time and energy into posting original content for you all to enjoy. If I can touch the heart of one person out there with this blog, then everything leading up to this point has been worth it. Keep on “pressin’” yourself.

Love,

This past week has been... interesting, to say the least. There have been laughs, there have been tears, metaphorical fists have flown, but at the end of the day, the Sugared Drinks blog is happily here to stay.

Many of you may have been wondering why I posted those strange, spam-like questions the other day with very little explanation. It’s a long story, one I don't wish to dwell on for too long, but here’s the gist:

The Sugared Drinks blog was under attack by an unknown source. The source first made themselves known by asking a suspicious question, one that made reference to time zones, although I never made my time zone known before. I didn’t know how to answer this question, and it brought the entire operation here at Sugared Drinks to a standstill.

Not long after, two more questions dribbled in – questions that were not really questions, at least as far as I was able to translate. At this point in time, I was ready to throw in the towel. Why bother continue the blog if this was the reaction it was inspiring?

As I was writing the farewell blog post, Shaun, the man whom I credited with the best Halloween costume in the office, came clean and revealed that he was behind the deception all along.

His explanation was weak, his argument unfounded. He said he wanted to teach me the lesson that I was susceptible to hate and negativity on this otherwise free-spirited and loving blog. Teach me he did.

That said, Shaun and I have since worked out our differences. I hold nothing against the man, and I genuinely believe that somewhere in that warped mentality of his, he really did have my best interests at heart.

That said, I felt like this needed addressing. I’ve gone too long without communicating to you, the reader, and that’s not how a successful blog is maintained.

I apologize for my absence up until this point. I am only human, after all. But this human is here to stay, with a newfound drive to keep Sugared Drinks alive.

Love,

I can neither confirm nor deny these rumors at this juncture, but what I can say is that there are great things in store for those of you who stick with the blog — really, really great things.

Hi there, thanks for asking this question. I’ll be honest, my first reaction to this question was one of joy – I felt as though I had finally made it, finally achieved international Tumblr recognition.

That said, it didn’t take long for me to unearth the elaborate ruse behind this question... a dishonesty so potent as to make me question whether or not I wanted to devote any more time into blogging ever again.

To your question, I ask a counter-question: how on Earth could you possibly know what time zone I’m living in unless you were one of my office workers in disguise, devoted to do nothing but lead me astray?

This is a sad, dark thing to do to a budding Tumblr blogger. You have not killed my spirits, but you have greatly wounded them.

Hi everyone!

Today’s Halloween, so I wanted to take a moment to send a message to all of you ghouls and goblins out there enjoying the #SpookySzn:

Each and every Halloween, it seems we can’t escape the news media’s low-hanging fruit opportunities to publish stories about the dangers of drug-laced Halloween candy.

Hell, try it for yourself. Google “Halloween drug candy,” click on the “News” tab and try not to fall too deep into the rabbit hole of stories published by every news organization and their mothers.

I, for one, am glad these stories are published annually. While they’re intended to provide tips to parents and guardians about what to look out for and to take away from their children’s Halloween sacks, for me, they provide excellent tips for how to differentiate between boring, sugar-saturated candy and what I’m actually after: hardcore narcotics.

Now, I know what you’re thinking: “Mike, don't make jokes about this. Drugs are bad and present an imminent danger to the children, the future of this great nation,” and to you I say relax...

Of course drugs are dangerous to children. Of course we should be monitoring the young tykes’ Halloween candy to make sure some shady figures trying to do the devil’s work don't succeed. This is something we can all agree on.

But that does little to get the drugs off the streets.

That’s why, for as long as I can remember, I’ve been taking Halloween candy-disguised drugs en mass each and every Halloween. It’s true that these drugs hold no place in a child’s body, but an adult’s?

Why, in my experience at least, I can’t recall a Halloween more fun than the one where I took a fistful of ecstasy from the strange-looking fella with the pierced nipples a half a block over.

So be adventurous, my friends. Enjoy your Halloween — after all, it’s supposed to be an excuse to, for one day in the year, be someone totally different. So be a junkie!

Hey Tumblr world, I hope you're having a great night tonight.

I know I haven’t written to you guys in a while — sorry about that, I’ve had a lot going on lately, but today I was faced with a dilemma, and I could really use some advice.

At the office, the boss said that on Halloween, everyone is required to come to work in costume... but not just any costume, a MOVIE CHARACTER COSTUME (is that legal?).

I love film just as much as the next person, but I’m totally lost and could really use some suggestions. Feel free to send me any ideas you think would be great for me.

Thanks so much,

Hello Tumblr friends!

I realized, recently, that although you may be keeping abreast of my statuses and blog posts, that does little to reveal aspects of myself to you that I have never really considered covering.

For that reason, I’ve decided to open up an “ask me anything,” and was surprised to see that two anonymous Tumblr users jumped at the opportunity to ask me questions!

Hi there Tumblr world, buckle up, it’s time to #SpillSomeTea.

It’s no surprise that my technical know-how would’ve prevented me from curating the content in this blog myself — we all know by now that I’m not the sharpest tool in the box when it comes to social media.

That said, in the time since this blog was created, I’ve really dedicated a lot of effort and energy into mastering the craft, at least to the best of my ability.

I know I have a long way to go, but it’s obvious, at least to me, that I wouldn’t be here at all if it weren't for the assistance and guidance of one of my coworkers and friends (whom I will not name in this post).

You guessed correctly: I’m not naming this person because things got heated at the office recently.

Essentially, I was told something to the tune of “I’m all over your blog,” or “You keep bringing me up in your blog” — frankly, I don’t remember the exact language used because it’s still something I’m fighting to get over.

I don’t want to make a mountain out of a molehill or dwell on this for too long, but right now, the emotional wound is still raw and unbandaged.

There’s no doubt in my mind that this temporary wedge in our friendship will eventually be extracted, we’ve gotten through worse, but I wanted to take advantage of this outlet and my supportive and loving readers to get this off my chest and expedite the healing process.

Thank you so much if you got this far, and please don’t hesitate to reach out if you’re going through something similar.

Love,