howdy doodle

imagine being so sickeningly in love with somebody that you hallucinate twirling them around on the night they quite literally tried to kill you and you STILL look visibly disgusted when you realize that that was just a memory and you are not, in fact, currently holding them. lestat you are never beating the Down Bad allegations

Literally always take headphones with you. If you decide that you probably won't need them today, that's the devil talking. You will. You will

eyes emoji was the perfect invention for nosy people. like 👀 whats going on over here 👀👀 i just wanna know #LetMeKnow 👀👀👀

see unfortunately I have this condition where if I am not explicitly told that I am a part of the ingroup then I will assume I must be part of the outgroup

I Love germans "Da ist hopfen und malz verloren" like man we cant even make beer out of that guy

a funny thing about having a Problematic Blorbo is that you'll periodically come across a post along the lines of "um let's not forget that [Blorbo] is a bad person..." listing their various crimes, and if you have a modicum of intellectual honesty you find yourself nodding along and saying yeah it's true... but it's the greyness of their character that makes them so compelling... At the same time though you have a little Saul Goodman in your ear going "your honor in their defense: who cares like omfgggg who caresssssss like come onnnnnn"

"🥪" is shorthand for "🍞🧀🍅🥬🍞"