a rolling girl

You fool- you are afraid of being alone with you own mind. You just better learn to know yourself, to make sure decisions before it is too late. […] Stop thinking selfishly of razors & self-wounds & going out and ending it all. Your room is not your prison. You are. […] no one has the power to cure you but yourself.

But when it came right down to it, the skin of my wrist looked so white and defensless that I couldn’t do it. It was as if what I wanted to kill wasn’t in that skin or the thin blue pulse that jumped under my thumb, but somewhere else, deeper, more secret, and a whole lot harder to get.

I feel occasionally my skull will crack, fatigue is continuous - I only go from less exhausted to more exhausted & back again.