capricious catastrophe

“  what am i supposed to do when i can’t even trust my own mind?  ”  “  i have to believe death is the end. because all that waits for me in the afterlife is a debt of sin i don’t think could ever be paid off.  ” “  what do you see when you look into my eyes?  ”   “  it doesn’t always have to be you, you know?  your shoulders aren’t the only ones that can bear the weight of the world.  ”   “  i don’t think hearts break. shattered things can only be broken once. but torn things can be mended again and again until it’s all scars and stitching.  ” “  i can’t remember what it’s like to be truly wanted.  ” “  every time you look at me i feel invisible.  ” “  loneliness is a slow and cruel poison.  ” “  i’m afraid that if i let you see every side of me, you should shrink back in fear or disgust.  ” “  for once in your life, what is it that you want.  ” “  i’ve been wrapped in my sorrow for so long, i’m afraid i’ll feel too cold without it.  ” “  i just want to see you smile again.  ” “  can’t you stop running for one second?  ” “  i’ll be here. when you’re ready to talk.  ” “  being strong doesn’t mean never asking for help or admitting you’re in pain.  ” “  don’t shut me out. please.  ” “  don’t look at me like that.  ” “  the world isn’t made up of heroes and monsters. just broken people balancing between the two.  ” “  i just wanted to do something good for once.  ” “  why can’t you tell me what’s wrong?  ” “  just trust me. please.  ” “  why can’t you let me in? what are you so afraid of?  ” “   you’re so worried about losing me/them you’re missing everything in front of you.  ”   “  i’m not leaving you.  ” “  you’re not alone. i’m here.  ” “  you see everyone so clearly except yourself.  ” “  don’t you understand? i love you. and nothing you’ve done, no matter how much of a monster you think you are, is gonna change that.  ” “  i find broken things interesting. maybe that’s why i like you so much.  ” “  i want to be whatever it is you think i am.  ” “  you see the good in everything. that’s why i like it when you look at me.  ” “  i’ll still be here when you wake.  ” “  i promise i’ll never hurt you again.  ” “  as long as i have you, the rest doesn’t matter.  ” “  what did they do to you?  ” “  i’m not sure i should leave you alone.  ” “  i won’t hate you. i know you think that’s what you deserve but it’s not.  ” “  i want to love the parts of you that you hate.  ” “  i’m scared of what you’re becoming.  ” “  i’m sorry, i’m not what you think i am.  ” “  you’ll always have a home with me.  ” “  what happened to you?  ” “  i thought i’d never see you again.  ” “  you’re such a fucking coward.  ” “  i envy anyone who has the privilege of being loved by you.  ” “  you scared me.  ” “  please, don’t ever give up on me.  ” “  i’m not giving up on you. not ever.  ” “  i know you love me. but it’s not the way i want to be loved.  ”

                                                       Mixed canon | 20+ Only | Penned by V

“What can I say? You guys are the best.”

“  what am i supposed to do when i can’t even trust my own mind?  ”  “  i have to believe death is the end. because all that waits for me in the afterlife is a debt of sin i don’t think could ever be paid off.  ” “  what do you see when you look into my eyes?  ”   “  it doesn’t always have to be you, you know?  your shoulders aren’t the only ones that can bear the weight of the world.  ”   “  i don’t think hearts break. shattered things can only be broken once. but torn things can be mended again and again until it’s all scars and stitching.  ” “  i can’t remember what it’s like to be truly wanted.  ” “  every time you look at me i feel invisible.  ” “  loneliness is a slow and cruel poison.  ” “  i’m afraid that if i let you see every side of me, you should shrink back in fear or disgust.  ” “  for once in your life, what is it that you want.  ” “  i’ve been wrapped in my sorrow for so long, i’m afraid i’ll feel too cold without it.  ” “  i just want to see you smile again.  ” “  can’t you stop running for one second?  ” “  i’ll be here. when you’re ready to talk.  ” “  being strong doesn’t mean never asking for help or admitting you’re in pain.  ” “  don’t shut me out. please.  ” “  don’t look at me like that.  ” “  the world isn’t made up of heroes and monsters. just broken people balancing between the two.  ” “  i just wanted to do something good for once.  ” “  why can’t you tell me what’s wrong?  ” “  just trust me. please.  ” “  why can’t you let me in? what are you so afraid of?  ” “   you’re so worried about losing me/them you’re missing everything in front of you.  ”   “  i’m not leaving you.  ” “  you’re not alone. i’m here.  ” “  you see everyone so clearly except yourself.  ” “  don’t you understand? i love you. and nothing you’ve done, no matter how much of a monster you think you are, is gonna change that.  ” “  i find broken things interesting. maybe that’s why i like you so much.  ” “  i want to be whatever it is you think i am.  ” “  you see the good in everything. that’s why i like it when you look at me.  ” “  i’ll still be here when you wake.  ” “  i promise i’ll never hurt you again.  ” “  as long as i have you, the rest doesn’t matter.  ” “  what did they do to you?  ” “  i’m not sure i should leave you alone.  ” “  i won’t hate you. i know you think that’s what you deserve but it’s not.  ” “  i want to love the parts of you that you hate.  ” “  i’m scared of what you’re becoming.  ” “  i’m sorry, i’m not what you think i am.  ” “  you’ll always have a home with me.  ” “  what happened to you?  ” “  i thought i’d never see you again.  ” “  you’re such a fucking coward.  ” “  i envy anyone who has the privilege of being loved by you.  ” “  you scared me.  ” “  please, don’t ever give up on me.  ” “  i’m not giving up on you. not ever.  ” “  i know you love me. but it’s not the way i want to be loved.  ”

I can’t control their fear, only my own.

“  change isn’t easy.  ” “  i just wanted to say i’m sorry.  ” “  i guess being angry was/is just easier than being sad.  ”  “  what did you want to tell me?  ” “  it was supposed to be simple.  ” “  you’ve got blood on your shirt.  ” “  you can stay with me.  ” “  what did you want to show me?  ” “  i miss ____ more than i thought i would.  ” “  i don’t like to talk about it, but i wanted you to know.  ” “  shut up. please.  ” “  fuck off.  ” “  hush, i’m trying to kiss you.  ” “  you’re lucky you’re cute.  ” “  i fucked up.  ” “  i just want to take it all back.  ” “  i can’t sleep.  ”  /  “  can’t sleep?  ” “  we should get a pet.  ” “  if you have something to say, spit it out.  ” “  i’m allowed to be angry.  ” “  she/he aint even that cute.  ” “  just hold me.  ” “  do you want me to go?  ”   “  i just need time.  ” “  i already made my decision, you’re not going to change that.  ”   “  nothing you can say will surprise me.  ” “  everyone leaves, eventually. either they move on or they die. they leave and i’m left behind.  ” “  death is a part of life. i accepted that a long time ago.  ” “  i don’t fear death. i fear anonymity.  ” “  listen to me, please.  ” “  i’m not even sure what to say to that.  ” “  that should probably shock me, but honestly it doesn’t.  ” “  am i supposed to care?  ” “  i do care.  ”   “  you make me happy.  ” “  you look beautiful like this.  ”   “  if this is your idea of fun, i don’t know what to say to you.  ” “  it terrifies me.  ”   “  just let me show you how i feel.  ”

❝ don’t we deserve a happy ending ? ❞

this one sparks joy (◠‿◠✿)

[insp.]