Musings of a Subversive Mom

None of the old tricks work. If we could afford a nanny, I would hire one just to do changes. I don't have the mental tools to deal with this. Zuul's no longer content laying still for a diaper change. The arsenal of toys and random items off the change table no longer preoccupy her. I don't know how to put a diaper on a moving child. And to think, I complained about the first few months. At least she was an immobile lump then. Subversive Dad started the challenge. Yes, I'll blame him. It's just easier to have a scapegoat. He informed me that he leveled up is the toddler game by performing his first diaper change on a standing toddler. Not to be outdone, I stopped making Zuul scream by trying to keep her pinned down and attempted this myself. Now we created a monster. She thinks it's a game, and she's winning. I admit, 90% of the time now, I have no idea if her diaper is secured before I wrangle the rest of her clothes on her. Disaster is imminent. The last diaper change, it was nothing short of a miracle that nothing leaked as one fastener was on her sweatshirt rather than her diaper, leaving it half dangling in the breeze. So, I need pro tips. Is there anything else I can do to get her to stay still for a diaper change? Or should I just let go and let god? Oh, and she's taken to biting knees now too. The tide has shifted. No good can come of this.

Society: Your life must be so unfulfilling. Is there something wrong with you? Why didn't you want kids? How strange.

Another Blogger Crosspost - Parents of pre-toddlers and toddlers. Buy a trike-stroller. Need convincing? Read my linked blog.

As of the end of this week, we are officially no longer home owners.  We are, technically, homeless, although we're cozily nestled in Subversive Dad's parents place for as long as we need to (or, more accurately, until we drive each other crazy).

Subversive Dad and I went to Milestones last night for cocktails and appies. I'm pretty sure the milestone was that their spinach and artichoke dip was celebrating an anniversary as well. Paying the price today. Worst appetizer ever.

Baby teeth.  You are on my shit list.

Hey, Vancouver peeps! Cleaning out my wallet I found a Faresaver book with 3 one zone tickets and one Rice n Spice points card towards you can use towards a free one meat half order (oh god, do I ever miss butter chicken paydays). If anyone is interested, message me and I'll mail them to you. First come first serve.

Today marks the day Subversive Dad and I became a couple. I'm proud to say a really good one for eleven years. There have been far more ups than downs, and the downs have been hardly significant. We are the A-Team of unmarried couples. He's mostly Hannibal, the mastermind, with Faceman's good looks. I'm pretty much Murdoch, with a little BA Barachus, but mostly batshit like Murdoch. Together, we're the yin to each other's yang. We'll need to remember this when Zuul hits her teens, I'm sure. Last year was our big milestone ten year anniversary, and I remember being bothered that we couldn't do much to celebrate. Zuul was only a couple of weeks old and I was still recovering from a c-section. We were both extremely sleep deprived and my hormones really toyed with my sanity. To be honest, I don't remember a thing from last year. I don't remember gifts or cards or anything. It was hardly a blip on the radar. It finally occurred to me that Zuul is the ultimate milestone anniversary prize. Sure, we could have gone to Paris, rent a sky writer, bought some fancy jewelry, maybe even had a wedding, finally, but that's not our style. We've never needed grand gestures. We celebrate the little things, and last year, the little thing was our newborn baby, graduating from couple to family. Perfection. So, Happy 11th Anniversary, Subversive Dad. I love you, but I'm not making you any more gifts.