It's 5 O'Clock Somewhere

Two of Trevor’s girlfriend’s chickens got out the yard. I’m over here googling how to pick up a chicken. I think my research has taught me that it’s not my problem.

Dale is scared to leave my room because the Audubon Zoo moved into our house (and none of them even have the courtesy to ask for you). Trevor keeps shutting the door into the laundry room which is where Dale's food, water, and litter box are. Every time I leave my bed room the dogs bark so I feel like I have to be locked in the room after a certain time of the day.

I can't believe I considered Trevor to be my best friend for almost 10 years. Now that I have actual friends who care about me I realize how shit of a friend Trevor is. I don't know if I've ever really talked to Trevor about me. The conversation always switches back to be about him.

Trevor has been dating a girl for 18 days and is already talking about moving her in with us.