The carpet presses into my knees, rough enough to remind me not to shift, not to fidget. Iโve been here long enough for the ache to bloom and settle, to become something steady... something almost comforting.
The bed behind me dips slightly, just once, like a test. I donโt turn. I donโt dare.
Waiting is part of it. She taught me that.
Every second stretches, pulled thin with anticipation, until even the quiet feels loud. The soft rustle of fabric, the slow, deliberate movement I canโt see; it all coils tight in my chest. I keep my hands exactly where she told me, resting on my thighs, fingers still, posture straight despite the tremor building underneath.
I wonder if she is watching me. No, of course she is.
The thought sends a shiver up my spine, sharp and electric. I swallow it down, steadying my breathing, counting each inhale like itโs something I can hold onto. Something I can offer.
I want to look. I donโt.
Because this... this moment, suspended and aching is proof of something quieter than touch. Something deeper than closeness.
Itโs trust. Itโs control.
Itโs knowing that I will stay exactly like this, even when it burns, even when I ache for the smallest sign.
And when it finally comes: a word, a step closer, the brush of attention...
Iโll feel it everywhere.
