breathe.

ASH: what are you, 13? go on the date, go get fucked. not like it's somethin new.

ASH: no 🖤

JULES: ha ha. i'm not making a sex joke, this time. i'll spare you.

Alice nudges her nose with her own, the same light smile playing at her lips, stomach fluttering with what feels like a million butterflies. They’ve known one another for so long and Alice has harbored this feelings for as long as she can remember. The fear of being rejected, of not being worthy of anyone, let alone Jules. It’s never been a train of thought she’s expressed- not to Jules, not to Two, not to Ames, not to anyone, but it’s ever-present. Yet right now, the amount of time they’d been spending together, their talks, all came together to turn into the perfect moment. “Yes, a date. I want to take you on a date. This weekend, sweetheart.” 

With that, Alice shifts and pulls Jules along with her, tugging her onto her lap. Not even for half a second does she lose physical contact with the submissive. “I want you close while we talk.” Once they’re settled, both of her hands come up to Jules’ face, thumbs grazing across her cheek. “You’re not stupid. Far from it, darlin’. I told you that before. I…” There’s a slight pause as she draws in a breath, hoping to inspire a level of confidence and bravery within herself. “…I waited a long time too. I’ve- Since the first day you’ve been back, I’m been wantin’ to say somethin’ but I haven’t been able to either. And you know what? That’s okay. It’s okay that you didn’t say anything until now either. It’s okay because you and I are here and we’re talking now. You make so happy, sweetheart. There’s no question about that.” 

Feeling so seen still makes her a bit nervous, though the way Alice gazes at her with so much admiration squashes nearly all of those nerves. The time she’d wasted getting in trouble, ignoring her real issues, seem so silly when she looks at exactly what’s in front of her, the one that’s been so constant in her life. As a dominant presence, as her person. She has to chuckle, a tinge of pink against her face. “I’ve never been on one before,” she confesses, with a widening smile and a gentle laugh. “I’m glad my first one’s with you.”

PM: It’s crazy how you do that, Jules. How you um…how you wonder why and how you have good things in your life when you deserve it. I think I can tell you exactly how you have me as your friend and its- it’s because of the kindness you showed me when I first got here. You looked out for me, welcomed me, invited me to the Submissive Support Group, and now you’ve got a forever friend. Bored itch? Submissive bored itch, like you need to submit, or…you’re just bored? Because if you’re bored, I can…we can play games and skate or something. That’s pretty honorable, Jules. The whole wanting to say it thing, I mean. I can respect that- I don’t…I mean, I just wrote a whole bunch of notes for Marley because I think I really like her and I can’t really…in-person, it’s hard to express myself like that so I can’t really relate but I have a lot of faith in you and I know you’ll figure it out. You don’t have to thank me at all. I did, yeah! I’m not sure what it’ll be either but…yeah, I’ll go with you. I want to get out more, I do. And having someone I know and trust- that’ll…that’ll make it easier. 

PM: Because I’m usually a piece of shit, D. Usually. You and other people have been helping with that, though. Well, yeah. I didn’t want you coming here thinking you didn’t have anyone in your corner. You were nervous. Forever friend. I like the sound of that. You know, the kind of bored I get when I haven’t caused chaos in a while. The kind of bored that gets me in trouble. We can do that. I’ve been in the mark-free zone with Ash playing games, if you wanna play Smash or something. Skating is fine too, I need to practice anyway. She deserves my words. She deserves the world, honestly. I don’t even know if I can give her that, but I can damned well try. Well, uh. Development is happening. Talks happened. We’re going on a date. I’ve never been on a date before, I have no idea what I’m doing. Yeah? I’m proud of ya, you seem really good for each other. If you need help, let me know. I’ve got you. I’ll pick you up, we’ll go together and see what everything’s about.

The soft kiss has the edge of Alice’s lips turning upwards into a soft yet positively star struck smile. Feeling Jules relax into her touch, she holds her closer, bodies pressed together. Not sexually, just intimately. “I want to take you out on a date.” She utters softly, pressed closed so with each word, their lips brush just so before she closes the minute distance once more to press their lips together again, this time a little deeper. Not so chaste, but not incredibly sexually charged either. As if to reassure her.

 Alice pulls back just enough to give the other woman a gentle look. “You’re nervous. I can tell, baby. Talk to me.” 

The look on Alice’s face makes her chest flutter, heart skipping into her throat. There’s the temptation to close her eyes, take in every word, the intimacy. Lose herself in it. But she wants to see her, take her in after so long knowing her, submitting to her, spending time with her - it feels so surreal, but so right. “A da- you- you uh, you wanna take me on a date. Holy shit. I- yes. Obviously yes.” Her arms move around Alice’s shoulders, taking in the deeper kiss, head tilting and feeling lifted off her own feet.

Phone cast aside, Alice decides to make her way towards Jules, deciding the rest of this conversation should be said rather than typed. She draws closer until she can wrap one arm around the other’s waist, the other coming up to cradle her cheek. “We’ll talk about everything else, I promise. I won’t forget about it. but is that- It is okay that I called you that? I wasn’t thinkin’ about it, really, It was just…natural. And yeah, of course, you can kiss me. I want you to kiss me. I know I’ve been wanting to kiss you for a long time.” 

She can feel herself vibrating with nerves, especially when no response comes. A million and one terrible scenarios come creeping into her head, she said too much, she was too awkward. It’s only when she feels Alice’s presence that she relaxes, melts into her touch. “Yeah. Yeah, it’s okay. Perfect, actually.” And then she says yes, that she wants it, and she wastes no time moving forward, looking into Alice’s eyes before pressing a kiss to her lips. Chaste, still soft and somewhat-nervous.

PM: Right, exactly. I know that if someone told me not to care about them or that they don’t want me to care about them, it’d hurt pretty bad. Thank you, Jules. I have yours too. I’m not- I don’t fight or anything but I’m here for anything you need. That’s good- I’m glad you’re improving. Like- really glad, especially if it keeps you out of trouble. I’ve been thinking about Eleanor’s list too but- I’m…I don’t do well with new people and I’d be worried someone I don’t know would message me for orders and I just- anyway, I think you should put yourself on there. I’ve seen Alice around, she seems nice. I’m glad you have someone like her, you deserve it. Do you want to tell her you like her? Because…if you can’t tell her, maybe you can write it. Write a letter or note or something so that you can spend as much time as you need on it and it’s not all- you know, in-person, talking can be a challenge, I know it is for me, so…writing might be best. Maybe. It’s just a suggestion. I think the fact that you’re thinking about being better is a good thing in itself. And I..I think you’re doing a lot better than you realize, Jules. I won’t- I promise, I won’t disappear on you. Or at least- if I have to, I’ll let you know. Right- yeah, cool, yeah, exactly. 

PM: I can learn to be okay with it. Listen, you’ve been there for me since day one, no fighting required. I don’t know how I got so lucky to have you as a friend. If you need anything, too, I’m here. I’d drop whatever the hell I’m doing, I don’t care. Yeah, well. I can feel myself getting that bored itch again, but I’m going to go to someone instead of taking it out on some poor Dominant. I’m not too okay with getting orders out of the blue, either. I want it to be someone I trust, you know? I do want to tell her. I’ve been trying. I think she deserves to hear it directly from me, though. My words, from my mouth. I’ll figure it out, at some point. I guess we’ll have to see. Thanks again, I don’t know how many times I can thank you. Did you see Darrean’s planning another thing? I have no idea what it is, but if you want to go, I’ll go with you.

They say that as the seasons shift and warmer weather begins to move in, the blanket of SAD and seasonal depression is supposed to begin lifting. I don’t know if it’s connected to what has been going on lately, or if it’s something else, but it seems that even the warm, inviting weather has done nothing much for the fog I’ve found myself in recently. I don’t know that there was an overarching point to this, other than for me to express myself a bit, in a way I don’t normally. Either way, I hope everyone is getting the chance to enjoy the warm, beginning-of-Spring weather.  @tgaimportant​

Sounds like you need some you time. Some kind of a break or something. Get a massage and chill out. When you’re not busy being shacked up, at least. Warm weather sucks when all I wear is hoodies.

Thank you to everyone who voted in the Mark Leader Election! I know I ran unopposed, but it still means a lot that people believed in me enough to vote for me instead of abstaining. I want everyone to know that I am planning on taking this as seriously as it deserves to be taken. I already have so many ideas, and I can’t wait to set them into motion. To begin, I want to open the floor to my fellow Switches. I would really like some feedback, to hear what it is you’re all specifically hoping to see improve here for those carrying the new mark. What challenges have you faced? What questions do you have? What would be most beneficial to you at this stage of things? Let me know, I want to hear from each of you!

I don’t want anyone to think they’ve been forgotten. While these elections were to unify the marks, with the way things have been going I think we could all do with some unity. I’m working on another idea for this weekend. One that I hope will help everyone start to rebuild some of these bridges. I’m not going to reveal what it’s for, because I don’t want that to be used as a reason people don’t attend, or skip out. But, I would like for everyone- and I do mean everyone- to leave their name and mark down below. I’ll release the “why” later. Just know that this is for an event that will require participation this weekend. It won’t be massive and it won’t take up too much time, but it will happen in parts, and it will require some effort. So again, please just leave your name and mark down below, and leave the rest to me! I hope I’ll see everyone responding soon. 

@tgaimportant​​

A surprise, huh.  Doesn’t seem like some weird hazing ritual, so I’ll trust it. Jules Davis, Submissive.

PM: You’re wanting pain, aren’t you? Tell me I’m wrong. My plan would start by figuring out what motivates you the best.

I expect a title, remember that.

PM: Ooohh, and he’s observant. I really can’t tell you that you’re wrong on that one. What motivates me? Uh. Aside from all my activism and whatnot, I don’t - I don’t really know.

@subjulesdavis​ liked your picture.

Hey, Jules! Thank you for the like! I thought abiut giving the Cheerleader team a try. What’d you think?

Hey, bud. No problem, you’re looking good. Are you kidding? Hell yeah, you should. You’d kill it. I’ll come to all your rehearsals. 

PM: Maybe. If you cross a line, you’ll know, Ask your question.

PM: Okay, fair enough. Call me a masochist, I’ve been thinking about what you talked about. About you helping with my attitude and shit. I guess I just wondered what your plan was.

PM: Oooohh, that’s your plan, huh? Interesting, good to know. Maybe I’m still curious. About you. Is that okay? Or is there like, some threshold I’m not supposed to cross or something?

I’m sure you aren’t squeaky clean either, few people are. This place is bonkers. 

Oh, far from it. Can’t even act like I’m the least bit close to that. Shit, you’re right about that. You still lookin’ for Hot Cheetos?

I wasn’t listening to anything. The video was posted because the sound playing behind the TikToks perfectly summed up my mood at the time. To be honest, it still does.

Shit, my bad. I misread. Honestly, though, a mood. By the way, I watched you dance during the competition. It was pretty fuckin’ rad.

They did beat up Jared Leto in that movie, so maybe it’s just that? You beat up Jared Leto? Oh yeah. can’t let the others find out. God forbid the school’s fight club actually becomes known.  Oh I’m aware- but I’ve never made it shy about what sort of dominant or man I am. So someone letting me take the reigns means at least they’re going in with their eyes wide open about it.  I know right? Yet somehow it would feel so very, very good to be the bitter ex writing a review on someone’s page. I’d say we’d have to filter out the bad reviews but that would ruin the fun. God. What if my next orgy gets a bad review? Truly, I’ll be utterly destroyed.  Hm, it certainly sounds like it’s a positive thing. Yeah. Well when you figure out what you know what is- I’ll call her that. Sure. Why not- no thirsty twinks are demanding my time. So. I’m all yours. 

I honestly don’t know the repercussions of breaking such a rule, so I think you’re off the hook for now.  I’m a hedonist, Jules but rest assured I think he’s aware of what he’s getting into. Or he’s not and it’ll sort it’s self out that way. Relax, I won’t break him. God. Maybe I should make it as an app.  Be a hell of a thing- but if I got below a four and a half-stars, I’d suddenly question my entire life.  But hey- at least it would be more informative than grinder or tinder.  Well, Ross is a smart one. Can’t deny that.  Hey- you never told me her name.  Just sort of throwing a title out there. Yeah? Well…usual is good. 

Neither do I, but I can’t imagine it’s pretty. We’ll hope the other members aren’t watching. Oh, trust me, treating someone right can mean a lot of things. But good. Hah, I feel like I’d be the same. Have an existential crisis about it. All the bitter ex’s leaving 1-star reviews. Worst sex I’ve ever had, 1/5. I’m probably bitter enough to do that shit, myself. He is. I think it’s been a positive thing. I mean, no one’s ever called her - you know what. You wanna chill later?