Ruthlessly Stylish

DON’T LET ANYONE WITH BAD KICKS TELL YOU ABOUT STYLE.

This is an extremely wise saying cutesies. All stylish pals should memorize this and apply it to their lives immediately. No need to worry though, Stylish Mudder has some ral naz kicks fact. Unfortunately, those who are followers of “Stylish” Marm are out of luck. He has some trash kicks. The lowest of the low. They’re so bad that they fell apart in only a few months. Now tell me cutesies, do you really want to take style advice from someone who has garbage kicks or from someone who has incredible ones? The choice is yours. My advice? Go with the guy who has naz kicks. He knows style inside and out. Unfortunately, “Stylish” Marm doesnt know the first thing about style, as shown by his “kicks.”

“Stylish” Marm, I’m talking to you now.

Marm. You’ve been exposed. Stop acting like something you’re not. You have no style. It may sound harsh, but you need to hear this. I’m only trying to help you come to terms with your lack of style.

The point of this confession is that Stylish Marm has not always been so irresistibly stylish. This picture, rife with rape culture and toxic misogyny, was taken in fall of sophomore year, when Marm was brand new to the whole communism thing. Were you to travel back in time to ask this pal what a reactionary was or how the lumpenproletariat differs from the proletariat he wouldn’t have been able to tell you. As the peels know, all of Marm’s views on gender are directly informed by his communist political views. Therefore, in this early point on Marm’s ongoing ideological development, he had hardly begun the task of rooting out the misogyny hardwired in to him by existing in a misogynistic society.

While I love the gender neutral language in this post, I’m shocked that TBD could stoop so low as to attack Stylish Marm with an unstylish ghost from his past with no bearing on his current style like this.

Oh and peels, I have a shocking unstylish revelation that TBD doesn’t want you to know: Guess who arranged this whole scene and took the photo? TBD. In case you didn’t catch that I said TBD. Thats T-B-D. How does it feel to have been a facilitator of womanizing TBD?

Peels, I have only one thing to say to TBD for this unstylish low blow, a little chant I hope you’ll join me on: WANKER WANKER WANKER.

Peels, this is a big big post. You are no doubt thinking “Has High Priest Maritime finally finished intepreting the divine sign promising the Palliance stylish victory?” No, not yet. This is something even bigger, because stylish wars end but this hot incredibly stylish blog will go on forever. This is our 100th post. Yes, 100 posts, every one of them jam marmalade packed with style. Let’s take a look at the number of posts on the blogs of other industry leaders:

Mudder: 25

Nag Pek: 38

Romeo Crunchie: 11

Kapun: 18

TBD: 23

Ben (RIP)(#neverforget): 18

Swagaif: 2

That’s right, no one comes even close. Of course, there’s more to a good style blog than quantity. For a truly great style blog, that content has to be real stylish and we’ve got that front locked down too. Comparing stylishmarm.tumblr.com to any other style blog (except for stylishben.tumblr.com of course) in terms of stylishness would be like comparing stylishmarm.tumblr.com to stylishswagaif.tumblr.com in terms of number of posts: It’s not even close.

From our humble beginnings when the peels stood up to Mudder for his unstylish Spiderman post, peels have watched Stylish Marm dissect many reblogged posts from the Unstylish Axis as he bravely fought against these wankers in three Style Wars, all while finding time to reblog some hot content and hit peels with breakdowns of style in many movies, some stylish, others not stylish, such as the Terminator series and the Avengers. 

Going forward, we’re not going anywhere but up (and also forward). Stylish Marm will continue the divinely sanctioned task of serving Jean Boy a dish of stylish justice with a side of revenge for Stylish Ben’s murder. The Palliance victory in Stylish War III draws ever closer. 

Stylish Marm will continue diplomatic work to hopefully reconstitute the Palliance with more than one member and there are several likely candidates. But if those don’t pan out, so be it. Stylish Marm can continue fighting this war alone.

Meanwhile, we’ll be going back to our cinematic roots. Expect a blog post on style in the popular Sharknado series real soon.