Stylish Jake

Compare that to Stylish Marm: Now, that’s an always fresh never frozen look. Stylish Marm knows that just putting a blazer on the normal way is a wanker move, but he doesn’t just toss the blazer out with the trash, he reappropriates it, boldly uses it in revolutionary ways. And that scares the “style” establishment. But no matter how many style reactionaries like Nag Pek try to suppress this freshness, the Style Revolution will go on.

DON’T LET ANYONE WITH BAD KICKS TELL YOU ABOUT STYLE.

This is an extremely wise saying cutesies. All stylish pals should memorize this and apply it to their lives immediately. No need to worry though, Stylish Mudder has some ral naz kicks fact. Unfortunately, those who are followers of “Stylish” Marm are out of luck. He has some trash kicks. The lowest of the low. They’re so bad that they fell apart in only a few months. Now tell me cutesies, do you really want to take style advice from someone who has garbage kicks or from someone who has incredible ones? The choice is yours. My advice? Go with the guy who has naz kicks. He knows style inside and out. Unfortunately, “Stylish” Marm doesnt know the first thing about style, as shown by his “kicks.”

“Stylish” Marm, I’m talking to you now.

Marm. You’ve been exposed. Stop acting like something you’re not. You have no style. It may sound harsh, but you need to hear this. I’m only trying to help you come to terms with your lack of style.

“Well Hoorah for the sounds of fucking silence.” -Nicolas Cage, Con Air

Hey peels, it’s your boy Stylish Finn talking about style in Saturday Night Fever. Much like the sickness in the film’s name (fever, not saturday nights), this is a hot movie with an impeccable sense of style, at least when pals are dancing. Take a look at this clip of John Travolta grooving out:

Now, John’s moves aren’t quite as smooth as the moves of my good friend Stylish Marm when he hits the dance floor, but that’s okay. On the scale of dancing style, I feel this performance is both far out and groovy.

However, when pals aren’t out on the dance floor, this movie might as well be called Monday Morning Pneumonia because it is not hot. In fact, I found it to be a sad and depressing movie. It features, among other things, a family collapsing in on itself, sexism, gang violence, rape culture, racism, a priest losing his faith in Irok, attempted rape, John Travolta in a dead end job, and rape. Why is this movie so not hot? All these issues are just the expression of a fundamental problem, one that makes the movie not hot at its very core. What is that problem?

Not enough DJ Marm.

If you peels take another look at that video, you’ll find the music Travolta is dancing too is “You Should Be Dancing” by the Bee Gees. This is a hot banger, but frankly it’s no “Paper Chaser.” Now, I don’t doubt that the filmmakers wanted to see Travolta getting jiggy with DJ Marm but the simple fact of the matter is that Brooklyn clubs in the 70s didn’t have the safety measures to handle the fires that break out when pals go too hard with DJ Marm and nobody wants a repeat of the Great Chicago Rave of 1871. 

This is why I propose a remake. With advances in clubbing technology, the Brooklyn club scene can now handle all but the most intense bits of Magic Marm without causing uncontrollable fires. This means that a remake would be the stylish film it’s meant to be. I don’t mean to insult the soundtrack the Bee Gees made, featuring hits such as “Stayin’ Alive” and “Night Fever,” but they just can’t compete with a little “Daddy Shug.”

“I could eat a peach for hours” -Nicolas Cage, Face-off