Shit.

Grab your girlfriend’s ass like its the last piece of pie at thanksgiving dinner

Who grabs pie tho

*Lifts girls booty with one of those triangle pie scoop things*

why do dads sneeze so loud

as a congratulations present for the book their publishers got dan and phil a light up “&” sign instead of a “d” and a “p” so they can hold it between them that’s so cute and lovely wtf

I’m so mad because this worked

help me roger

………my friend has made me curious

help me roger

Update: after I reblogged this someone messaged me offering me tickets to the sold out Hausu screening with a Q&A and autograph session with the director

These never work for me, but here’s to trying.

Eh Roger is cute I might as well

That fish is so happy it makes me happy.

I like how the term “as fuck” is a common unit of measurement.

being gay was the best choice i ever didnt make