Just a stupid fox,

It is 11am. They have been awake since 8am. The one has already had 3 fucking accidents today. In 2 hours. And she has already had 2 temper tantrums. One over her older sister having friends, that she was invited to hang out with today. Because of punishments on our end, and the other families end, she hasn’t been able to hang out with her friend since before Christmas. Today, she has the chance to. But her little sister has to treat her like shit because of it. The second, because I’m pissed off about the second accident. Because she refused to go use the bathroom when she was told to, she decided to pee all over her dads pillows and blanket, and our fucking couch. And refused to clean it up. Lying to me, saying that it was vomit, not pee. But, it didn’t come out of her mouth. It smells like pee. And she only got it on her butt and between her legs, nowhere else on her. It’s not fucking vomit. It’s fucking piss. She pissed herself. Again. Because she is pissed off that her sister has friends and she doesn’t. And she doesn’t have friends because she is always the victim, and a fucking bully. If she doesn’t get her way, she cries and lies about what happened. If anyone is better at anything than she is, she screams that she is being bullied. If she is losing a game, she changes the rules to the game to make her the winner. Someone disagrees with her at school, she hits, kicks, punches, or pushes them. She shoves people off of benches at school for fun. Then wonders why nobody wants to be around her. Also, at school, she will have at least one accident, if not more. Then once she is home, before bed time, so between 3pm and 10:30pm, she will generally have, AT LEAST 4 or 5 accidents. I’m at my wits fucking end here. I get it. COVID has made life fucking hard for everyone. But their lives have basically gone back to normal. They have school. They have our house and their moms house. Everything is exactly how it was 2 years ago for them. But I’m still dealing with an almost 8 year old that thinks it’s alright to piss on literally everything she sees. I end up with at least one, if not 2 loads of laundry for her. Every. Single. Day. We are a family of 6. I don’t always have time to do 3 loads of laundry every day. So I am never caught up.

They always say that, when you find the "one", that you'll know. I never believed in soulmates. I hated the word perfect. But when I'm with him, I can't even begin to understand how I never believed before. But nobody has ever made me feel the way this man does. I never feel anxious, because I'm always at ease by his side. I know that, my whole life, I have been waiting for him. He is my one. He is my soulmate, my king, my everything. And I would never want to be anywhere but exactly where I am.

A week ago, all I wanted was running water. Today, all I want is a working toilet. I don't really care about fixing the walls with new drywall. Or painting. Or the bathroom upstairs being gutted. I just want a damn working toilet, so that we can move in before the end of the damn month. And so that while I'm here, I can go to the fucking bathroom, fucking hell.

"No. Take your shower now. Last night, we started talking at 2:30 in the morning. Next thing we knew, it was 4:30, and the rosters were fucking."