singing about the dark times

Andrew, annoyed: Kevin threw out my chocolate

Neil: all of it?

Andrew: yes

Neil: and he’s still alive?

Andrew: he’s hiding at Matt’s

Neil: got it

Andrew: that’s it?

Neil: you want me to say more?

Andrew: yes.

Neil: okay...

Neil: shit happens

Neil: I’ll swing by and get you a new one

Andrew: *heavy sigh*

Andrew: how do I make him really suffer?

Neil, in German: his autograph from Jeremy and those newspaper clippings with him are hidden in the history books

[beeping tone from the phone]

Jean: so they finally noticed you’re gone?

Neil: that I went for a walk all the way to California?

Neil: not yet

Jean: what did you say about Jeremy?

Neil: nothing?? I didn’t even mention Jeremy

.

…

a…

…

He asked: "Oh, was she the only son or something before *waves hand*?" and I was like, warily, no she has two brothers. And he responded with a great deal of confusion: "Then what's their problem?!?!"

After a while of talking about how Anya acts the trainer says there’s nothing to worry about, Anya likes Shane just fine, it’s just that she sees him as the boss and is acting accordingly

And Ilya is like. But. I’m the one who adopted her? And raised her before Shane got here?? And the trainer is just like yeah well she sees you more like an equal. And Ilya is like WAIT she thinks Shane is in charge of both of us?? And the trainer is just like well do you interact in a way that would make her think that?

Ilya’s life flashes before his eyes as he thinks of all the times Shane has come over with a snack for Ilya and a treat for Anya, or all the times Shane has announced they’re all going for an after dinner walk, or pets Ilya’s hair and tells him he did a good job at practice, or the fact that he uses the same warning tone with Anya when she misbehaves as he does with Ilya when he’s causing problems on purpose

Bonus: