stuff in my beard

Expect Something. I said these words to my High School students last night at our weekly worship service, The Attic. Expect Something. As the words were pushed out of my mouth, I felt them fight against my breath. Expect Something. I felt like a liar, a fraud, a hypocrite. Expect Something. This simple, two-lettered phrase was becoming harder and harder to say. Silence filled me as I felt the stare of every teenager and adult in the room, as if I were being put under a microscope of judgement. My mouth closed as I attempted to gather my thoughts...but there was nothing. These two words were echoing in my mind...and then, like a beacon in the fog, I was faced with a reality that I did not want to see. Without thinking, these words began to pour out of my mouth. "We are to expect God to do something! The problem with most Christ-Followers today is not that we have the wrong expectations of God, but that we have NO expectations of God at all! This is something that I am being convicted of right now. Too many times I pray to God or ask of God, not always expecting God to do these things. Expect and be ready. Prepare the way for the Lord. Expect Him to do something..."

The ironic thing about this message (which had been titled, breakable) that I was teaching was that I have been praying for God to break me through this study. Break me God, so that you can revive me. I was praying, I was asking, I was even begging...but I was not expecting. God broke in to my life last night and said, "Expect Something." 

It's so easy for me to get caught up in this routine of what it means to be a Student Pastor. The balancing of family and work, the behind the scenes work, the studying, the planning, the organizing, the counseling, the meetings, the leading, the vision-casting, the discipling...the ministry. This routine is necessary, I believe all routine's are somewhat necessary. But sometimes we need these routines to be broken...or else it begins to grind us down and dull us to everything around us. 

My prayer has a different tone today, "God, I expect you to continue to break into my routine, continue to break into my life and continue to transform me." 

In my reading today, I stumbled upon Acts 26:8 (you may want to read Ch.21-26 to get the context), as Paul is on trial for telling people the good news that Jesus is the Messiah who has raised from the dead and is living, he says this, "Why is it thought incredible by any of you that God raises the dead?" Why do we not expect God to do what He says He will do? Why do we not live life, expecting?