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My husband introduced me to Male Chastity.  He brought to my attention there was something called a Cock Cage.  I thought that sounded immediately fun, and told him to go ahead and order one.

A week or so later this plastic CB-600 cage showed up! Yes, let’s put it on right now!

I immediately thought it was great fun, and loved to make him wear it and torture him with teasing.  What was not to like? I just thought it was fun. It immediately put a smile on my face, but then again, I didn’t take it more seriously than that. It was fun.

But he always wanted ‘more’… and I admit I saw it as just ‘another thing to do’.  It’s not that I didn’t want to do things for my husband, I did, I just started to see it as something more I had to do, and we were both busy.

But what changed was when I saw that Male Chastity games were for ME TOO. I wanted him locked, because I got what I wanted.  And I really liked getting what I wanted.  I was good at receiving what I wanted.

I just didn’t want to work for it as if it were a burden!  But then I saw it as a co creative game between the two of us. And I started to really look at what I got from this arrangement. 

What do I get from Male Chastity?

A Body Servant -  My husband daily rubs my shoulders, or my feet.  At least once a week he sets up the massage table and I get a deep, full, 2 hour massage.  When we watch TV, he sits behind me and rubs my shoulders.  I don’t get tired of this. I don’t rub him back, though I am affectionate with him. I’ve gotten used to his strong hands giving my body the work it needs, daily.  This is just the way it is, and I love it.  I hear from other women whose men hardly ever touch them, and I’m shocked. I’m spoiled for usre.

A Sex Slave – My husband’s focus is on pleasing me sexually.  I don’t care about pleasing him sexually. We have sex when I want, and I get the orgasms.  There is an old Quinn Klaxon caption that says: Only She Cums. Yep.  I have as many orgasms as I want, and I want far more now that we have this arrangement, and he doesn’t have any, or very few.  Doesn’t bother me at all. My sexual pleasure first, and really… only my sexual pleasure.  He serves me fully in this regard. (And yes, I realize he gains great sexual pleasure from serving me, and touching me, and seeing me in pleasure).

Cook/Housekeeper – My husband does a lot of housekeeping, and most of the cooking.  I clean dishes once in a while, and the house, because I enjoy helping out and I’m a part of the family.  But he does the most of it, and I’m happy about that. The best part is that he does it the WAY I LIKE IT.

Gentleman – My husband treats me with deep masculine respect, and takes care of me like a true gentleman. In speech, in attention, and in service. He’s there for me, he’s strong, he’s mostly silent, he’s still, and he’s my rock upon which I am secure.  I love his deep masculine strength and how he takes care of me. 

Fun – It’s a lot of fun to keep your man locked and focused on you. The power, the teasing, the love, the service, sometimes even the sadism (just a little!). Yeah… I get a lot of fun and creativity from the whole thing.

So What Does He Get?

Writing that out it sounds very one sided, but it’s actually not.  To understand that let’s look at something I read years ago. 

A Submissive wants to told what to do. 

A masochist needs pain. 

A slave is pure service to his/her Domme/Dom.

While we have fun with me telling him what to do, and punishing him and torturing him and teasing him… deeply my husband loves me and channels all of his sexual energy into a depth of connection through service. It’s kinky weird, but it really isn’t. It’s love. Deep service not just to me, but to the FEMININE.  He’s powerful man who chooses to channel is love in a certain way.  He’s not unlike Taoist sexual masters who avoid orgasm and circulate their energy in full body orgasms.  Again, we are kinky, and have a shit ton of fun with that stuff… but deep underneath it all, this is a loving partnership relationship that keeps the spice going long, long, after most people’s has faded.

He also gets a shit ton of sexual energy from me.  We play like we were kids.  Still. Year after year.  Something about teasing the shit out of him…

So What Are My Duties?

This was the part that got me started writing. You see, I wanted him to do all of the things above without me having to do anything.  I know.  Kind of shitty, but it went back to old stuff in my head about sexual duties. I’ve got to do all this stuff… FOR HIM.  Then I realized A) I like doing things for him, and B) keeping him in chastity actually is a FUN sexual duty and C) It pays off (see above list).

Keep Him In Slave Mode

There is a place he goes to in service to me, that is slave, it’s an emotionally charged depth of love and service, and it’s what keeps him going.  It sexually charged submission slave service. It’s not the submission I was talking about above, it’s the SLAVE offering, of a man willing to die for his family to protect them.  Intimately connected to death in some ways.  But this is a ‘sexually charged’ submission, a state of being. That’s my job, to feed that state. Keep him in this ‘submissive’ state.  That requires me to be dominant, and these are the things I do to stay dominant, and keep him submissive.

One – Control His Cock With a Cock Cage – Control the orgasm, control the male. He is kept in chastity longer and longer now.  It works. He enjoys it, it’s a fun challenge for him, and I enjoy, it gives me power and pleasure, and it deepens his submission.  Gives him access to a deeper masculine focus on the feminine.

Two –Service – He wants to do things for me. Give him things to do, and do it in a sexy way.  Part of the game is MAKING him do it.  FORCING him to do it. Now of course, he doesn’t have to do anything he doesn’t want to, he’s grown man, but if I TELL HIM to lick my pussy, or clean the house, in a dominant sexy way, we both have a lot more fun.  I used to think it was a job to give him things to do, but then I realized I was doing that all the time anyway. Can you take the trash out? Can you pick up eggs on the way home? Can you call your Mother and tell her we are going to be late for Sunday dinner?  Can you give me a footrub, my heels are killing me from walking in them all day at work?  Can you change the oil in the car? I ask him for things ALL THE TIME… anyway.  So why not making it a game and TELL HIM he has to do it because he’s a slave?  Yes, it’s more work, but it works, and it’s actually fun. And why not make taking the trash out fun?

Three – Discipline – My husband benefits from being beaten once in a while, I think it’s a BODY thing, not that he needs it, and I have a bit of a sadist streak liking to beat him.  Also… there is the sexy POWER dynamic. I tell him to do something, he doesn’t do it, there are consequences. It’s sexy. It’s powerful. He breaks the rules once in a while just to feel my power, which then gives him that deep slave feeling.  So yes, I have to discipline him sometimes, and it can be really fun, and really creative. I’ve come up with some really fucked up punishments. I impress myself sometimes. He tests the limits of my rule… and sometimes I get tired of that… but things are always better if I stay firm and consistent.

Four – Tease and Denial – Build suspense.  Give him energy, give him energy… and pull it back last second. This seems cruel, if someone did it to me I would slit their throat, but he loves it and I love it too.  It’s a big part of the work… giving him that pleasure of teasing… and it helps put him into slave mode, which gives me more focus on me. 

Five – Experience as much pleasure as possible. Porn stars make ridiculous noise for a reason. The masculine LOVES to see the feminine in pleasure.  Women I talk with have a hard time understanding this, they feel embarrassed, etc.  But if you have loud orgasms, and with as much energy as possible enjoy his slavery… he’s going to fucking love it. And it’s something that really keeps him going and keeps him in slave mode.

Sum it Up

Cage his cock and lower his status (he’s a slave, you are a mistress)…

Give him things to do in a fun sexy way…

Punish him regularly for not doing them or not doing them correctly (in a fun nasty dirty sexy way)…

Tease him sadistically with tons and tons of feminine sexual energy but denial him that ultimate ejaculation…

While enjoying it so deeply and thoroughly with such feminine bliss and radiance and pleasure that he can’t help but worship you.

-X