Live to learn / Learn to live

it's not enough to say it's okay to make mistakes. you MUST and WILL make mistakes, and the distress and negative consequences of those mistakes will be real but survivable and possibly even fun and worthwhile experiences. getting rained out of a concert because you didn't check the weather will feel like a punishment for your oversight unless you're able to see yourself as human and enjoy the walk home in a mess of an outfit and shiver into a warm shower and treat yourself with kindness and let go of the imagined perfect self that has not and will never exist. or you fucking die from ten billion nightmares forever. that's it, those are your options.

In your 20s, you'll feel like you're losing the race. It's important to understand that there is no race.

Draw badly. Write nonsensically. Embroider messily. Burn what you bake and cook. Get paint everywhere. Read half a book. Lose your mind for a bit. Plant things. Have faith in the process. Abandon 70 wood-carving projects. Get a kit and do some of it and never return to it. Get comfortable with sucking and losing motivation. Continue to create with reckless abandon.

friendly reminder that you didn’t waste your year. any moments of happiness or comfort, any small accomplishments, they all matter. this has been a really hard year, and simply surviving is something to be proud of. 

do it scared do it stupid do it alone etc etc but don’t do it hungry. eat a snack first

in the meantime: study, journal, read more books, sit in silence, listen to music, take walks, take the stairs, do more things alone, do more things with friends, take notice of the small wonders of the world, create a sacred space in your mind