Practice makes perfect

if it makes you happy

monday: existentialism. i feel the slightest sense of dread as i am confronted with an incomprehensible world. i question my being and the meaning of the universe around me. am i living authentically? have i given a purpose to an otherwise confused and structureless existence? i eat a bowl of frosted flakes and stare into the void.

tuesday: academic skepticism. none of my impressions in this world are true, though some of my early morning observations (whether or not it is a cold or warm morning; whether or not i will get stuck behind a school bus on my way to campus; whether or not the universe is comprehensible) have relatively high probabilities of being correct. i cannot obtain true knowledge but i can get close to it if the perceptions around me are convincing enough, i try to persuade myself as i read 50 pages on complexity of meaning in tibullan pastoral poetry.

wednesday: nihilism. nothing has meaning and my existence ultimately has no bearing upon this world. whether or not i write my papers will not alter the state of the universe. bolstered by my newfound lack of purpose, i escape yet another hump day mental breakdown.

thursday: absurdism. in a fit of misguided academic panic fueled by excessive caffeine consumption, i attempt once again to find meaning in my existence and the work that i do. when my caffeine rush comes down, i realize that such a task is futile and settle back down. i can grasp the meaning in human existence about as well as i can grasp the sense of an article i am attempting to read in german; which is to say, not at all, and i am okay with that.

friday: epicureanism. the future looks bright. i realize that i am confined to but a brief pinprick of life in the vast timeline of existence and that once i die, i will dissolve back into the world, so i might as well enjoy the time that i have. for a good epicurean, this would mean the quiet contemplation of nature and the charming conversation of friends. as i am not a good epicurean, i spend my time drinking cheap gin and getting into arguments on tumblr dot com.

saturday: neoplatonism. i am one with the world, and this is the good. within each of us is a universe, and i am at peace with mine. i drink four coffees and project onto the astral plane.

didn’t brush your teeth this morning? forgive your past self and do it now!

woke up at 3am and realize you didn’t brush your teeth before bed? 11pm you was tired, forgive yourself, and just do it now!

“it’s okay” DOES lose helpfulness when you forget that it’s supposed to mean “don’t beat yourself up about mistakes, and don’t let it keep you from doing something different.”