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@studd3db0nesxxxx
Plz read
This blog is like a public diary for me, I mainly post abt my ed but also a bit about anxieties and dysphoria so don't report just block because I belive that people who struggle are allowed to have a safe space
I've been in forced recovery and it fucked me up but I encourage recovery nonetheless, just know I might vent about my experience but I don't want that to scare anyone from it!!!
I'm not pro 4n4 except towards myself lol
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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I need to fix my sleep schedule
Yh it's fun to sleep during the day and stay awake all night until it messes up your metabolism
Summer does not make it easy for me tho, I hate going out in the sun and hot weather makes me irritable asf so I'd rather go outside at night to walk
And yes I could wear lighter clothing and not torture myself by wearing a hoodie outside but I genuinely hate my body that much like I'm even insecure abt my arms looking fat so I'd feel more comfortable by hiding them in public
Right now I see no point in being awake during the day if it's just to sit in my room all day n eat out of boredom
I need a job ffs
Me when I'm dressed up and feel kind of cool but I have nothing to do I'm bored as hell and too awkward to interact with anyone on insta so I end up feeling like doodoo
Right now I want to focus on eating clean and healthy food
I want to cleans myself from junk food so that I no longer crave it or think about it
And to satisfy my sweet tooth ill add 1 tea spoon of honey with my fruits and allow myself protein bars
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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π₯
I didn't weigh anything I ate today so my c4ls are not 100% accurate
Ate ~500 c4ls
Burnt 190 c4ls
Walked 6.3k steps
Watching the weight be unmoving while doing your best is SO draining
anybody feel instantly suicidal after failing something?
I hate it when I can't sleep bcuz my mind won't stop rembering everything bad that has happened in my life
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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(@ me)
Weigh in every day
Omad every day
Walk 10k steps every day
Come on it's not that hard.
This isn't my body
I want to be skinny and in control again
I need to stop being a lil b1tch by letting small obstacles get in my way and keep restricting ffs
I've been so ashamed in myself ever since I got out of the hospital and was forced feed, I've tried many times to st4rve n restrict but the moment I ate smth that I wasn't supposed to I couldn't bring myself to weigh the next day out of shame from not being in control (according to my standards) and this has held me back for years
I want it to stop, I don't want to be ashamed of myself, I want to st4rve until I can be comfortable in my own skin again
I need to purify myself from all the junk I've eaten in the last few months
I feel like it has poisoned me
Is there a way to change my bone structure or am I cursed for life?
Some of my faves < 3 [not my images]
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch β’ No registration required β’ HD streaming
I need to stop letting small obstacles completely stop me
I just want control and consistency and routine
The moment smth I didn't plan happens I give up out of frustration but I want that to stop!!!
most of the time it isnβt even about the weight, the number on the scale, itβs about having discipline others donβt to stay the course, resist temptation and push through something incredibly challenging. itβs a fuck you to those who cast judging eyes while carrying meat suits.
