stuck_inthegoo.f

James Bucky Barnes who was a special case in the military— not like Steve, more like Peggy.

James Bucky Barnes who never had the displeasure of hearing his deadname around base. Commanders using Barnes, and other men using Bucky.

James Bucky Barnes who never could shower comfortably with the other soilders, even with all the work he put into his body, some things he just couldn’t hide.

James Bucky Barnes who only ever came out to Steve.

Steve Rodgers who was inspired by Buckys determination and wanted to be like him, have gains like him, be dependable like him.

James Bucky Barnes who, if it wasn’t for all danger, wouldn’t have ignored the twinge of jealousy when he saw his best friend as Captain America.

James Bucky Barnes who was never allowed to be comfortable in his own body, no matter what time period it was.

James Bucky Barnes whos PTSD got in the way of needle injections and now he has to use gel.

It seemed like this was always happening.

A few drinks, some kareoke, and then hostiles, a fight, Robert was injured, again.

“What the fuck were you thinking mecha dick. That was stupid as shit.”

Robert groaned, he couldn’t believe he was being pestered for getting HIMSELF hurt. Chad was barely scratched. Robert on the other hand- His head was pounding, his nose was stinging, as his blood stopped dripping, he could barely move his wrist cause of how hard he threw his punches. Oh god and he was STILL talking, talking about how bad of a job Robert did while bandaging him up.

“You have to be more careful. Don’t forget youre still a normie bitch after all.”

Robert was in a lot of pain, the bickering was annoying even if (shamefull to admit) cute, he needed it to stop.

“Why do you care so much anyways? I’m putting MY life on the line.”

Flambae stopped almost immediately and looked at Robert dumbfounded, and offended. his brows furrowed, and a small speachless huff escaped his lips.

“Okay fuck you too, bitch. If you didn’t want my help than you could have just said that.”

As much as he tried to play it off, he did NOT have a poker face. Flambaes arms were crossed, he was furious at him the rest of the night. His words stung his heart. He didn’t know why he would care so much about the guy who cut his fingers off. He hated it, and Roberts question only gave him the biggest reality check of his life, like fucking whiplash.

That night, Chad lay in his bed, restless and staring at his dark, decorated walls. His breath felt like it was hitching, and hyperventilating at the same time, he was an uncomfortable type of warm. He didn’t know what to do. He thought about Roberts question more, and more, spiraling in his own mind.

‘Why would I care so much about such a bitch…’

He thought to himself. Picturing Robert in his head to imagine any redeemable features that would make Chad give a single fuck about him getting hurt in battle. His mind traveled to the way his SDN uniform was too big, yet nicely fitting. The way the scars and bruises on his body stood out and made him look even more disheveled and pathetic than he his messy hair already did. The chip in his ear that Chad always found his eyes wandering too.

Then he thought about his personality.

‘This guy fucking destroyed me.’

He thought about every sarcastic comment. Every moment they shared that was full of undescribable tension. At the gym when he basically saved Roberts life, flirted, and then was given a proper compliment. Thinking about that night always makes Chads stomach turn a little. He wasn’t sure if it was from disgust, or maybe cause he enjoyed the scene as it played in his head. 

The more he thought, the weaker he felt. His body growing warmer than it already was, his body twitching and fidgeting, trying to fight back any further embarrassment.

‘Fuck.’

ROBERT WAS HOT. There was no denying it now. Flambae was fucked. The sarcastic, honestly funny, comments he made, the way Robert was the only one to really stand up against him. It riled the two of them up. Flambaes eyes were wide as he tried to calm down the gay panic, overwhelming his heart. 

‘This cannot be fucking real.’

The next day as Robert attended to incoming calls and dispatched his team to accomplish various tasks, Flambaes odd behavior nit going unnoticed.

He was quiet and unresponsive, a small “Whatever.” was the only thing he would mumble before being sent out, and he was taking way more breaks than usual.

Robert felt hints of guilt tug in his chest. Maybe he was too harsh last night, Chad was just trying to help, and Robert totally blew him off.

By the end of the shift, Flambae took maybe 5 calls max, and left without saying a word to anyone, or so he thought.

Robert had went to the SDN gym to blow off some steam, and think about what he could say the next time he sees Flambae.

Music blasting in his headphones, and the sound of his fists against a punching bag, he didn’t notice the more muscular figure standing behind him.

“Uh..Bob Bob, the fuck are you doing here? Unsupervised, again.”

Robert flinched and the punching bag came flying back to hit him, making him stumble a little and huff.

“Well I just came to the gym to, you know, drink some coffee and make myself a sandwhich, obviously. Why are you here?”

Flambae squinted before rolling his eyes at the dumb smirk on Roberts face. 

“aha, very funny Mecha Dick…You know, I have every right to punch you, harder than you and that fucking bag. You treated me like shit last night.”

Flambaes fist turned to flame and Robert felt an arm press against his throat, without a proper surface to lean against though, it wasn’t as rough as it could’ve been. 

Robert swore he felt his heart stop, but genuine curiosity overcame him.

Was he really upset about last night?

“Are you really..mad? About me blowing you off last night?”

Flambaes face twitched, looking more disgusted. He was right, or partly right atleast.

“No because the mighty fucking Flambae has no time to hold grudges against bitches like you.”

Flambae began to walk away, to the squat rack he had been using, but Robert wasn’t done. 

“Where are you going? I need us to talk about this.”

“Oh fuck you Mecha whatever.”

His eyes pierced Roberts with distress, anger, and confusion. He did one set before putting the bar back on the hooks. Then he walked back to Robert, arms crossed, staring him down.

“Speak. Just know I will punch you if you say the wrong thing, and I will make it hurt.”

Robert gulped a little, but calmed down in order to think and speak properly.

“Well, I want to know what’s wrong, why you are clearly upset, and if it is my fault from last night, I want to help.”

Flambaes fist met with Roberts jaw and he fell on the floor, the stinging and the pounding finding its way to his skull. Flambae crawled over top him to keep him down, and maybe punch him some more, he couldn’t control his frustration.

“That was a trick question Robert, I was going to punch you no matter what.”

Roberts breathing was rough, and quick, trying to catch his breath after the great winding he just took. Thats when he saw it, the guilt in Flambaes eyes being masked by his ego, as he gripped the hoodie collar, his fist up in the air ready to punch again. Robert knew there was more than guilt, it was pain, frustration, and somewhere in between his furrowed brows, confusion. Thats when it clicked, he knew what was going on, and he felt the same way.

“Chad..”

Roberts voice was soft, catching Flambae off guard, his expression, one more painful, as he was met with comfort. Robert looked him up and down with half lidded eyes before taking his hand and cupping Flambaes cheek.

“Stop..what are you doing? Don’t do that.”

Flambae objected but didn’t pull away, he was confused but he liked it, unwilling to admit it. Roberts thumb rubbed his cheek bone, making Chads shoulders untense.

“I understand now, I’m sorry I hurt your feelings yesterday, I think I was just being pissy.”

They locked eyes, the air around them thick and heavy, as they gave into each others comforting touches. Flambae had layed down for the most part, rather than hovering. His hands finding Roberts neck, fidgeting around, and caressing.

“It’s whatever Bob Bob, I-“ 

He thought for a moment, breathing heavy and gulping down a heavy clump in his throat.

“I don’t know how I didn’t think about it sooner, I was mad when I heard about your date but I pushed it down, I pushed a lot of things down. Then you decided to be more of a bitch to me, and push ME away, when I was trying to help and- I am resenting you for it.”

The pausing in his voice told Robert too much, and they stared at each other, guilty confessions, and reminders of moments together that could have been so much more if one of them had just said something.

Robert stared at him, wrapping his arms up his neck and on the back of his head.

Gently he brought himself up and pressed his lips against Chads. 

It was all they really wanted deep down.

Flambae gave in and kissed back, rougher than Robert, but not too bad, you can tell he craved it, and let his frustration out into it. A warmth in both their stomachs, pressed against each other. Flambae put so much emotion into the kiss it felt like he was yelling at Robert about how badly he wanted this type of relationship, and Robert only indulged the feeling. 

They finally seperated, catching their breaths and staring at each other with relief. 

“Do you maybe wanna…grab a smoothie, or something.” 

“Oh fuck you, Bob Bob.”

They mumbled against each others bodies, Robert pushed a loose strand of hair back behind Flambaes ear, The air wasn’t as heavy, It was calming, relaxed. The weight of Chad on Roberts body was crushing but, enjoyable. It was clear neither of them wanted the moment to pass, hands searching for the most fitting spot, exploring each other in the most romantic way possible.

Flambae groaned before pushing off of Robert.

“Sorry I- uhh…punched you in the face, let me get you something for that.”

Robert 100% binds for too long, Malevola is always the one to remind him to take breaks

Prism does Roberts make up to help him look more masculine

Punch Up rlly wants to make sure he feels like a bro, he punches Robert in the crotch, talks about beer and grilling, ect

Blazer joins Robert at the gym and they train together, it helps him feel gender euphoric

Visi is always trying to get Robert to buy piercings so he looks cooler, also does little fashion shows for when he’s testing outfits

Sonar gives Robert clothes bcuz he has a lot of band shirts and loose fitting clothes

Flambae is always kissing his top surgery scars, he genuienly admires them but he also thinks they are kinda hot

Waterboy was always the one to reassure Robert after surgery, when he begins to regret his decisions. Herm would literally hold robert by the waist and tell him that the feeling would pass

Phenomaman didn’t really understand that trans was even a thing but was quick to support Robert, He constantly googles compliments, gifts, and support for Transguys and sends them all to Robert

In public when Robert is passing and some guy makes a negative trans comment, Coupe makes an excuse for her and Robert to leave