Feeling invalid and like you’re faking your disorder is PART OF YOUR DISORDER

Wanting to starve yourself but not actually being able to do it is PART OF YOUR DISORDER

Recovery does NOT come easily

Constant binging is PART OF YOUR DISORDER

Being able to eat normally without guilt for periods of time is PART OF YOUR DISORDER

Being able to restrict easily one day and not the other is PART OF YOUR DISORDER

Wait. Calm down. Breathe.

Don’t you wanna finish that day without binging?

Don’t you wanna wake up tomorrow to see a result that makes you proud on your scale?

Don’t you wanna be one step closer to that final goal?

Please don’t binge, it’s really not worth it. Do something else instead. Read, watch videos, chew gum, meet friends, dance in your room to your favourite music until you fall on your bed out of breath.

Being jealous of friends or people who have been severely underweight/ hospitalized

Hundreds of awkward angle body checking photos

Looking at the size of your legs/body in every mirror, reflection, shop window

Being disgusted at watching people eat

Comparing people’s body size and weight to yours before noticing anything else about them

Being obsessed with cooking/dieting/food programmes

The pain of hitting your hip bone on a table

Hating yourself for judging anyone who is healthy or overweight

Being proud of your lowest weight once recovered/weight restored

Eye rolls when anyone without an ED discusses their new diet/weight loss

Eating every tiny bit of a specific calorie portioned food because damn if you’ve counted those calories you are gonna enjoy them

Feeling embarrassed for eating ‘unhealthy’ foods because people assume you eat nothing/survive on lettuce

‘Wow you’re actually eating’ kill me

Not enjoying excercise or wanting to work out

Alternating between being scared of all food and wanting to consume everything in sight

Really horrific awful bad breath (like seriously bad)

One day you’re too scared to eat a tomato the next you eat chocolate without worrying about it

Looking in the mirror after eating and feeling like you gained 20lbs

~the thing that makes me most motivated is the fact that i am Fat, that’s a fact. it’s not just a “oh i look fat today” i am overweight. i have a belly and my bones don’t show, i can squish my thighs and my face is round.

after losing 15 pounds

i’ve gotten complements from my family like “you’ve lost weight i can see it in your face” “you look great! i need to do what you’re doing!” “your legs look slimmer”

my friend who is very honest about everything (and sometimes is too honest) grabbed around my wrist and he said “your wrists are so tiny!! you’re so small”

my collar bones are starting to peak through, i can’t stop feeling them and when i turn you can fully see them

i know this is a small victory but my fingers do not touch now, they don’t look as stubby. my fingers look longer (i’ve always wanted my fingers to look long bc i play piano and i want those pianist fingers)

my face just looks?? nicer?? when i walk by mirrors my double chin is so much less visible i feel prettier and it makes me smile

certain outfits look different on me, not baggy yet bc i have a LONG way to go but things just fit better and i don’t feel as repulsive

things that i look forward to

more defined collar bones. the fact that my collar bones will show without any effort is just! so motivating

my feet and hands to look slim and dainty rather than pudgey

for my sweatshirts to get even bigger on me

to be able to wear jeans again instead of leggings all the time, and actually like how i look

thigh highs to fit correctly and not roll down bc they’re too tight on my thighs

to not be scared during sex/ be able to do more doing sex because my size won’t limit or control me

to see how my bones look, i have always been on the larger side bc i am 4’11”. ive been in a vicious cycle of restricting and binging it all back since i was about 13 because i never had a scale and i would get frustrated after losing weight bc my dsymorphia just,, i never see change. but my scale is forcing me to see the change and i’m just so excited to see the bones in my hand without having to flex it

the bone in my wrist will jut out more

h i p b o n e s- i like to push through the fat and sort of feel them bc i’ve never seen how they look so when i drop more weight i’ll finally be able to feel them and see them!!!!!

thigh gap!! even if it’s not large just a little gap will make me so happy and it’s slowly starting to happen

because i am so short, once i get to my ugw or even a little before it i will look so little and dainty, my boyfriend already says i’m tiny regardless of my weight, so wait until i’m even smaller!!

my grandmother said my legs looked thinner and my butt looks better and cuter

this 👇🏽

-my hands and wrists are so much smaller, i took a body check video and i can touch every finger to my thumb around my wrist except for almost my pinky

-my friends have started calling me pretty a lot more (and it seems genuine this time), my friend even started drawing me out of nowhere today bc he said i looked beautiful, i’ve never gotten this much attention from them ever

-my teachers have been treating me better?? i dropped 17 lbs during my school break and i was absent last week for medical stuff and a storm so i lost the remainder between now and then. when i went to school on monday my teachers just seemed nicer? not bc of the medical stuff bc i’m out all the time but just treating me better in general and actually including me in conversations and such

-when i went downstairs this morning my grandma told me we needed to buy me new leggings bc they were stretched out from “when you were bigger” and then she had me do a twirl and complimented me and said i was doing great

- my lower thigh is way smaller now!! my knees look so small now??

-my collarbones show on their own a lot of the time now, i don’t have to sit a certain way there just there

-my belly is starting to get smaller, i fit into a pleated skirt that didn’t fit when i bought it, it’s still a tiny bit snug but i can actually zip it!!

-i’m more flexible

-i barely get cravings which is so nice??

-getting tells from my ig followers commenting on my weight loss

-my friends commenting on how different i look in my face

-my guy friend kept calling me beautiful all night, and giving me a fuck ton of compliments about my body

-he also mentioned how small i’ve gotten

-collarbonessss

-my family commenting on my weight loss and congratulating me

-my friends telling me they are proud of me

-only getting diet cokes at dinner if i go out and no one says a word bc my body is changing for the better and they know it, it’s not alarming to them until i’m tiny

-i can see the bones in my hands clearly

-i can start to feel my ribs and hipbones (still under fat but very much there)

-people wrapping their arms further around me

-my shadow looking small!!!!!!!!!! wtf!!!

Your legs are still touching.

You can still squeeze your stomach.

Your arms still jiggle.