A thread of my zosan fics thus far that nobody asked for:
(All rated E)
Tongue Like a Knife (Or in This Case, A Sword)
"While the deep and dangerous voice of Pirate Hunter Zoro has made probably hundreds cower in fear, it made Sanji inexplicably and undeniably turned on. A horrifying realization that had him waving his own internal white flag time and time again before his knees gave out from embarrassment (or arousal, but he’d rather die than admit that)."
https://archiveofourown.org/works/56562154
Kissgate
Nami starts a rather calculated game of truth or dare to get Zoro and Sanji to realize their pent-up sexual frustration--and hopefully relieve their friend group of the constant petty arguing.
What Nami didn't factor in was how wrong she'd be to think what follows would be any better.
https://archiveofourown.org/works/57011413/chapters/144984268
Those Damn Fingers
The usual suspects either busy or unwilling to help, Zoro enlists Franky and Luffy to help pick out a shirt for his first date with Sanji. Zoro's canonically 110cm chest ensues.
https://archiveofourown.org/works/57644626/chapters/146687353
The Knight Shift
Sanji was a royal failure. Literally.
Deemed beyond redemption for being the only Vinsmoke with humility, Sanji is appointed a personal knight to keep him under surveillance. That position soon becomes a revolving door of noblemen when the young prince decides to force them into reassignment by being as intolerable as possible. The first two folded quickly, Sanji believing that one more would disappoint his father enough to retire the position entirely.
Unfortunately for the third prince of Germa, three was this knight’s lucky number.
https://archiveofourown.org/works/57980884/chapters/147604246
Kiss Me Thru the Snail
Sanji looks at his own snail, and wonders if it dreams of being set free in the lush greenery of Kambakka Kingdom. Maybe he could set it on his windowsill and let it slither out into the night, Zoro’s idiotic goading slowly but surely being lost to the trees.
For if a marimo speaks in a forest and no one is around to hear it, does it even make a sound?
https://archiveofourown.org/works/58384315
Lost in Translation
His tone lowers, frustration curdling every word. “You wanna take this outside?”
Zoro’s half-hard dick twitches under his haori. “Right now?”
https://archiveofourown.org/works/58680220
Couldn't Care Less
Zoro didn’t care.
Unbothered. Unconcerned. Indifferent. Nonchalant.
Zoro couldn’t give less of a shit that Sanji was gone.
https://archiveofourown.org/works/58726597
Slip of the Tongue
Sanji had to admit, though, it was getting more and more difficult during times when islands were few and far between. It left him even more sensitive and riled up when Zoro did get his hands on him. In combination with Zoro’s Three Kink Style: Moaning Cook technique—where the swordsman does exactly what he’s fucking doing right now, crooning dulcet encouragement and ‘baby's in his ear—there wasn’t anything Sanji wouldn’t do to get that oaf’s stupidly big cock in or around him.
Including embarrassing the ever-loving shit out of himself, apparently.
https://archiveofourown.org/works/59061058
The Bet
The mosshead became in charge of planning their next date.
Sanji should’ve seen this coming. Standing here now in their bedroom, knowing Zoro even better than he knew himself, it comes as no surprise.
Did he pick a nice place to eat? Maybe a fun new activity that they can become overly competitive about?
Of course not.
No, Zoro takes the one filthy desire that Sanji accidentally hinted at on a whim and fucking runs with it.
https://archiveofourown.org/works/59233723
Man Spreader
Sanji was sure he heard the idiot incorrectly. It was the only possibility.
“Gross, dude—TMI,” Usopp grimaces.
“What do you mean? I spread men all of the time!” Zoro shoots back with an indignant scowl.
Okay, then Sanji heard him perfectly.
https://archiveofourown.org/works/59003473/chapters/150417478#workskin
Plated
“Which one is this?” Zoro asks, peering down at his plate. He sounds almost bored, like he’s speaking to someone—something—not even worth his time. Something that’s only there to elicit a response so he can properly enjoy his meal.
Rule three: only speak when prompted.
“Hamachi,” Sanji replies.
https://archiveofourown.org/works/59438275
The Holidate
“Besides, it’s not like it’s anything serious—he's just my holidate, darling.”
That’s right—his holidate. How could Sanji forget.
Aunt Iva’s self-proclaimed tradition for every holiday on the calendar: find some random to drag along to that day’s function for the sole purpose of not spending it alone. As soon as the occasion was over, he never spoke of or to them again. An easy one-off plus one to ward off unwanted feelings and unwelcome probing questions from friends and family.
https://archiveofourown.org/works/61626403
Peripheral Vision
A near-death experience should bring two closer, right? Bond those people on a molecular level; fuse their futures covalently. That’s what Sanji wished to believe, even if he had to bend reality for it to make sense. So his desperation pulled just as hard as Zoro’s reticence pushed, until the force of their repulsion caused it to snap.
“We have to stop this.”
https://archiveofourown.org/works/64435681
A Cyborg's Guide to Dating on a Budget
Zoro’s flat broke—which a certain cook absolutely delights in reminding him at every available opportunity. Between the metaphorical fly buzzing out of his wallet, and his body practically belonging to Nami with how much debt he’s racked up… the traditional ways of wooing someone like Sanji are limited.
Enter Franky: the man on their crew with the most experience at penniless romance. Actually, the only man on their crew with any experience in romance at all—the love-cook included.
https://archiveofourown.org/works/64654963
Perfect Score (with Rough0perator)
Zoro's gym bag hits floor once he enters their apartment and his brow furrows, taking in the scene playing out in their living room.
His boyfriend, in heels, pushing a chalkboard past the kitchen from their bedroom. He meets Sanji’s simmering blue stare and the meaning of it all crashes down on his head like a ton of bricks. The goddamn roleplay.
“Shit. Was that today?”
https://archiveofourown.org/works/68203076
Suck You Dry
“So what you’re saying is… Sanji’s a carnivore now.”
“Oh, my—thank goodness there’s no meat on these old bones!”
“It’s cannibal, Luffy, and no—it means Sanji’s a vampire. Right?”
The nameless asshole responsible darts his frantic gaze to the sea below him. “Uh… kind of?”
https://archiveofourown.org/works/67665721
Couples Only (with Rough0perator)
Paradisio Grand Resort Welcomes YOU!
Held biannually, the Paradisio Grand Couples Retreat is a seven day intensive for couples from all walks of life at any stage of their journey. Relax, recharge, and regroup in the most scenic of locales, and prepare to reap the rewards of your dedication to the process in an abundance of love everlasting.
“Gross."
Nami rolls her eyes and pushes the brochure back into his chest. “You’re going,” she says curtly.
Zoro barks a laugh and flips the brochure over, “Yeah okay, I’ll get right on that…”
“With Sanji.”
“Fuck off,” Zoro laughs again. When Nami’s expression doesn’t crack, his amused grin fades. “Fuck off.”
https://archiveofourown.org/works/70255206
