1327

i am floating

somewhere along the line

the tether was cut

between night and blue

morning

half-dressed and dirty

the moon i cannot see

i know is waxing

swelling into silver as

time, in debt,

avoids collection

borrowing itself from dead moths

strung up by hungry spiders

a thin dust like the grime

of guilt

captured in fleeting moments

off focus, clock ticks

one-two, over and over

the empty pulse

ii.

i live in ruin

with the lights on, without

shadow, watching through

a smudged lens as

joy blows by without fanfare

shoes tracking in the mud

the only memory of the rain-

storm

light gives no suggestion

i grieved a love imagined

fire, though alive, is mindless

devourers dot the cosmos

give life with indifference

iii.

patience implies

the existence of an outcome

becomes faith in the face of immortal

boredom

each day each toothache grin

a vision of tolerance

i tolerate my body

i tolerate its language

i undo my body into violence

a new scar at least is proof

that change is possible,

is lasting, or can be

staggering sightlessly home

the only way home is away from it

iv.

no taste of honey

no sun bright enough to be worth

this vacancy, this

animosity toward becoming

i have been still for years

buried myself in pleasure

survival is a lessening

through stiff ignorance deafened

shame is not purposeless

i cannot stomach myself

discomfort is health

i tread water waiting for an act of god

to reverse this paralysis

none comes